What's On Your Mind 2023

Not About Food
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My daughter adopted a pup yesterday. He’s about 6 mos old, some retriever mixed breed the shelter thinks, but I also think there’s some bull terrier in there - his face is wider than his waist, or whatever the part of a dog’s back is just ahead of his hips is called. I think he’s going to start putting on weight and maybe more height yet pretty quickly. He’s already a bit taller and longer than my old lab/springer mix we got from HS.

She and her younger sister first saw him Saturday at the shelter, but he was a new accession and hadn’t been neutered yet and wasn’t officially up for adoption. She already had planned a day off work yesterday (stacked up all her annual med appointments). Although he wasn’t listed on the shelter’s website yet, we took a chance and ran down between her appointments, and they were happy to have her adopt.

He’s sweet but really weird in one particular. He fears any transition. Doorway? Got to carry him through. Stairs? Scared scared scared, doesn’t even want to try. Elevator? Carry him on, and then back off again. Have to pick him up to get him into the car’s back seat and then pick him up to get him out.

I’m trying to figure out what could have caused him to be so afraid of doorways and stairs and what not.

Meanwhile, after several tries this morning she’s gotten him to where, if she drags him down half a flight of stairs, he’ll walk beside her the rest of the way down. But then to exit the stairs, he’s still scared of going through the doorway. She took 1/2 day off work this morning and I told her to keep going down the stairs every half hour to see if he gets used to it, and to also reverse herself mid-flight and see if he’ll go up the stairs starting from mid-flight (to take that initial step out of the equation).

So she’d had him down the stairs several times and out for walks, when she called me about an hour ago to say it might be working. Then had to cut the call short because despite being out for a walk just minutes before, he decided to pee on the floor…

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684

I’ve seen videos of dogs who can only go through doorways backwards. Pets be weird.

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685

Pretty happy with how our dogwood came out. Only SEVEN strings of light later. We started with 2. Not enough. Got 2 more. Nope. Two more… almost, but the top looked a little sparse :smiling_face:

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686

I still haven’t gotten all of my Autumnal decor stashed away :sweat_smile:

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We didn’t have any, so it was easy :wink:

Also, these lights will probably stay on that tree forever (tho we may not turn them on all year round) :grimacing:

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688

That would be my approach. I don’t get those folks who go through that every year.

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689

It’s hard enough gettin’ the lights to be where they are (some string slinging was involved).

There’s a neighbor who has his entire tree wrapped up in lights, which may sound gaudy / over the top, but it works. I’ll try to snap a pic next time I have the chance. I cannot imagine removing that every year, either.

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690

I have neighbors with large pines who do that every year and it looks great. But they’re out there in the cold for days at a time (and yes, they take them down every year).

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A lot of my neighbors hire a service every year to decorate the entire front of the house with lights. I think someone told me that it costs about $400.

I’ll have to see if my son’s in the mood after next week when he’s done for the semester. We don’t do the whole front, usually just the lower eaves across the garage, bay window, and long porch.

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692

It’s a cold-ish day with clear skies, so obviously this is a good time for my power to just randomly go out. Power co is aware and working, estimating 6 hours to fix.

Of course, those estimates are usually optimistic by an hour or 6.

Guess I’m going to regret having set the thermostats to 64 a few days ago. I’m here alone temporarily and pretty cold tolerant, but I don’t think I want it to be 45 in here…

Time to go thrifting or something.

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693

Like a newborn, they don’t come with operating instructions and in the case of an adoptee of any age or species, unknown baggage. Patience, rePETetive practice and loving training is something this pup probably hadn’t had. I wish pup and mom the best as they train each other. Hide (upper shelf storage!) the Uggs and fancy shoes and invest in lots of ‘apropriate toys’ and treats!:dog2:

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Doorways are an enigma, but it stairs are a frequent balking point. In the country, a neighbor’s teens rigged a ladder from the main floor to the attic which they turned into a hangout. Their golden retriever would happily follow them UP the ladder, but absolutely refused to crawl back down that way. Problem solved when they opened a window and let the dog out onto a sloped roof from which he could jump 4 or 5 feet onto the ground.

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695

File under “exciting events for folks over 40:” our (hopefully) fabulous new Casper snow mattress arrived today, with the bed frame arriving on Monday, allegedly.

We’ve been sleeping on the same futon mattress for well over a decade now, on the fancy-shmancy IKEA queen we built together almost as long ago… and while it’s a perfectly comfortable bed, we’d been talking about an upgrade for a while now.

A reasonable Black Friday offer sealed the deal, and there’s a100 nights return option. I doubt it’ll take us that long to make a decision, but the only thing I never gave much thought to is where to put our current bed. While our bedroom is relatively large, I’m not sure we’ll be able to fit TWO queen-size beds in there without blocking access to dressers, closets and doors :scream: :flushed:

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A Bargain!

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She gave up and decided to die, which is her prerogative. We’ve been in-out of the hospital several times since she was diagnosed in mid-October, usually dehydration or low this/that, or high calcium (I gather high calcium is common in onco patients).

Her particular cancer’s genomic testing came out as one that does not respond to any of the newer, more targeted biologic treatments(*). So she’d have to have full blast wide spectrum, if anything. But that would have killed her, too, if she didn’t “get stronger”.

Well, getting her stronger didn’t work out for a number of reasons not related at all to the cancer. Her knee froze up (prior car accident damage) and then there were a litany of other problems.

We did have a really great Thanksgiving dinner with her, with 3/4 kids in attendance (#1 daughter about to deliver her first baby any time now). She ate a really big dinner, much more than I thought she would, and was happy the entire time. But by early Saturday was hurting again so we got her to hosp, and then eventually to hospice the last 3 days.

All of my kids saw her last week and had a chance to say goodbye either in person (3) or on phone (1), but she kept hanging on in hospice for her reasons all this week. Finally, my wife got hold of her adopted brother (he’s got mental health issues and is normally tough to talk to) and he agreed to talk to his mom (my MIL) with a phone held up to her. I guess that is what she was waiting for - to have a chance to say “goodbye” to everyone, because she passed less than 10 minutes after that.

He (my wife’s brother) had had a dream yesterday where he was sitting beside her in the hospital bed and she told him she needed to leave “in a couple of days”.

Not sure what to make of all this, but the whole episode has given my wife some comfort that she made the right decisions regarding hospice etc., so that’s good.

My kids are all young adults and it’s hard to know how they are taking losing both grandparents in just 9 months, given distance. My parents both died long ago (my mother before any of them were born, my father about 7 years ago but never really in their lives). Their grandparents on my wife’s side, though, were weekly or more visits and always in their lives.

(*) So now we have to consider if we need to have my wife and all 4 kids tested to see if they have the same genetic defect. Although hopefully by the time they might need it, there might be more targeted therapies available. But I don’t have a lot of hope for this, given it’s supposedly on the order of 0.004% of defects.

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I just ordered non graying shampoo. Just for men . Lol .

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Sounds like a tough year. I hope 2024 is brighter and that D #1’s baby is healthy and brings joy to the family. I’m glad your MIL had time to make peace with your wife’s bro and all got a chance to enjoy a final Thanksgiving. :pray:

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My high school friend just passed from this. A matter of weeks. I didn’t even know. If it were me, I’d test, if only to make sure my estate was truly arranged. But that’s the lawyer in me, unfortunately.

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I am sorry for your family’s losses, let time heal and allow you to reflect on your time going forward. It sounds as if your family is a close one and gathering the love amongst you is healing. Peace and warmth be with you.

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Very sorry for your family’s loss. Your love and devotion to your in-laws has been evident these many months as you described cooking for your MIL, and I can only imagine that it has been a great comfort to your wife and kids.

Your mention of that last call reminded me of when we lost my grandmother just a few months after my first nephew was born. My parents were helping with the baby when my grandmother took a bad turn and was hospitalized by my aunt (against her previously expressed wishes). My dad, the eldest child, was devastated, and we booked him a flight back immediately — just two days before he was due to leave anyway — because everyone was convinced that she was holding on just for him.

He went from the airport to the hospital and took her home, so we thought she would finally let go. But she held on till my mom got there two days later, and only after my mom sat with her and talked to her and told her all about the new baby was she finally ready. My other grandmother waited for my uncle to arrive as well. Goodbyes can matter.

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