Very sorry for your family’s loss. Your love and devotion to your in-laws has been evident these many months as you described cooking for your MIL, and I can only imagine that it has been a great comfort to your wife and kids.
Your mention of that last call reminded me of when we lost my grandmother just a few months after my first nephew was born. My parents were helping with the baby when my grandmother took a bad turn and was hospitalized by my aunt (against her previously expressed wishes). My dad, the eldest child, was devastated, and we booked him a flight back immediately — just two days before he was due to leave anyway — because everyone was convinced that she was holding on just for him.
He went from the airport to the hospital and took her home, so we thought she would finally let go. But she held on till my mom got there two days later, and only after my mom sat with her and talked to her and told her all about the new baby was she finally ready. My other grandmother waited for my uncle to arrive as well. Goodbyes can matter.
So very sorry for your family’s loss. Yes, I truly believe your wife made the right decision regarding her mother’s end care, and your MIL held on to speak with her son.
CCE
(Keyrock the unfrozen caveman lawyer; your world frightens & confuses me)
705
Yeah. My wife and I have it set up so that almost nothing goes into the estate, other than a bit of personal property (clothing) and cars. House is JTROS.
We made sure that her mom’s property passed almost entirely via POD and/or beneficiary, except the house, because passing that via estate to my wife brings the cost basis forward. The only other thing in the estate will be her car, which in our state is easy to pass outside of probate because it’s viewed a de minimis in our state.
We had some huge screw-ups with her dad’s passing in March where he had several life policies paying to “the residuary trust of Mr. XYZ” based on decades old estate law that no longer applied (and the supposed “Residuary Trust” was never enacted), and ended up having to probate his will even though by contract law, there was basically zero in his probate estate (which is generally what you should shoot for).
There’s nothing in my wife’s or my own that doesn’t pass by benfy designation, other than the cars, and the house again that we jointly own being JTROS. Do you even need a (property-based) will in such circumstances?
The Theme to Schindler’s List, performed by Itzhak Perlman, is the best violin piece ever, period, in humble my opinion. Composition, performance, emotion, structure, all. John Williams is amazing x 100000. And has to be performed by Itzhak Perlman, as a lifelong fan.
CCE
(Keyrock the unfrozen caveman lawyer; your world frightens & confuses me)
709
I don’t know enough about music to know if it’s the best, but I just listened to it and think it could bring a concrete block to tear up in the first couple of minutes, before it gets a bit lighter.
It is (to me) the best and probably one of the hardest to perform, and perform well. The violin has ten “positions”, I only learned like 5 of them. Watching Mr. Perlman perform, he appears to be performing in 3 (???) or more positions, and the higher notes are always harder to perfpem.
Love love love love this piece. Love.
I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie, but I was crying like Niagara Falls well before this piece was played, and definitely when it was at the end. A portion of it was played in a history class I had, and I could not control my tears, I had allergies that day so I sort of passed it off as that, since I was the only person crying in the class. Heartless, I say!! (Kidding) (well, kind of)
One of my favorite lines from Yellowstone. Mia in the backseat of the pickup truck.
“Cool shit ain’t cheap and cheap shit ain’t cool”.
3 Likes
CCE
(Keyrock the unfrozen caveman lawyer; your world frightens & confuses me)
715
It’s incredibly beautiful, overall. The first few movements had me crying, then in the latter I felt some hope.
i’ve never actually seen the movie. I don’t know how I’ve managed to “not-to”, except that I don’t watch any television, and haven’t really in 40 years.
My kids do sometimes have something on, when they are here on college breaks. So I do look at what they have on a bit. But I myself don’t even know how to turn the damned thing on!
But I do spend time on youtube, so it was easy to find this one
Hard to believe that you were the only crying . . . those classmates scare me.
Ummm . . . you tell the remote what you want to watch and it magically appears?
ETA: I should speak. If not for sports and news mine would just be a dust collector.
2 Likes
CCE
(Keyrock the unfrozen caveman lawyer; your world frightens & confuses me)
717
My first grandchild, Benjamin Ralph (named for his living, and recently departed grandfathers) was born this afternoon. Babe and mom (my daughter) are both very fine, doing well.
My wife had planned to drive down to Bradenton today but when our daughter went into labor about 4 a.m. we shifted to a flight. Brand New Grammy made it to town (and hosp) 4 hours before delivery.
So I have joined the Honorable Olde Fartes And Grampas Society, finally. LoL.
Circle of life. My kids’ last grandparent, their Grammy, passed away on Friday. We’re still processing that.
Yay! Welcome to the club, ‘Grandpa’! Now, as for your new moniker, will you designate how you will be called or let BR do it? Best wishes for all the wonderful things to come your way. Best wishes to the CCE family. Lots to think about, past and future!
My d-i-l constantly worried about what our first grandchild should call me. I repeatedly told her not to worry, that the child would come up with a name. And one day, while changing her, she looked up at me and said, “Ama.” I looked at her mother who was also in awe. Well done, little one. Child, parents, and two siblings have adopted it. I am “named”.
I love that story, so innocent and so natural.
My MIL insisted on being called ‘Nana’, (and announced such when visiting us in the hospital, what nerve!) which the five previous grandchildren born before we brought ours into the world went along with. Our two balked, and came up with their own names for her and the FIL. My parents were okay with whatever, as long as it wasn’t ‘Hey-u’.
And has to be performed by Itzhak Perlman, as a lifelong fan. 
Welcome to the club, ‘Grandpa’! Now, as for your new moniker, will you designate how you will be called or let BR do it? Best wishes for all the wonderful things to come your way. Best wishes to the CCE family. Lots to think about, past and future! 
