The perfect burger

Cooking Discussions
41

There’s a place in my heart (and mouth) for both thin/smash and thick/pub styles. 5-6 oz is the sweet spot, so give me a double if it’s a smash burger. And give it to me rare if it’s thick.

I like cheese (just about any kind, but I’m partial to a slice of swiss and a slice of American together) on both styles but will eat without. Sometimes cheese choice depends on other toppings/condiments.

Bun/bread has to be flavorful in and of itself and proportionately sized to the burger. Do not give me a 2" thick bun with a 2 oz. patty. If the bun sucks I will just eat the burger/toppings with a fork. I tend to like brioche or a good potato roll. No english muffins or anything crusty/hard to bite through. Buttery rye for a patty melt, obviously.

No raw vegetables. Ever. If I want a salad, I’ll have one on the side. Caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, deep fried jalapeños or onion straws, etc. are all fine, depending on my mood. Sometimes pickle slices or pickled onions.

Bacon is acceptable but not always necessary, especially if the beef is really good or the bacon is mediocre. I find most other meat add-ons detract from the burger itself (i.e. pulled pork, sliced brisket, etc.).

Last and perhaps most importantly, condiments. Keep ketchup the f*ck away from my burger, please. Mayonnaise is a must, particularly with chopped green olives in it (the olive burger is a mid-Michigan thing I grew up with). Mustard if I’m in the mood. Dijonnaise or other flavored mayos/aiolis (Sriracha, chipotle, garlic, etc.) may also be welcome depending on the flavor profile of cheese/toppings. Bacon jam or “big mac” sauce if I’ve made them myself so I know they’re not too sweet. I also love blue cheese salad dressing on a burger, especially a patty melt. Generally no more than one or two condiments, though - too many just take over the flavor of the burger.

All of that said, my favorite combo to make at home is a 6 oz pub on toasted brioche, cooked rare, with swiss/American, caramelized onions and green olive mayonnaise. Bacon optional.

3 Likes
42

Sunshine’s perfect burger is a 1/4 pound meat patty flame broiled over mesquite wood, on any bun with a small dollop of ketchup.

Same here, but make mine mayonnaise!

1 Like
43

I love the cheese, so long as it’s cheese and not vegetable oil. But, I get the purist take, too. I often leave out the cheese, if I’m adding a lot of crunch. I do love some lettuce, tomato and onion.

44

I like them both. To me, ketchup and mayo are best mates. Any kind of tomato flavor with mayo trips my trigger. I often leave off the ketchup because I prefer thin sliced tomato much more.

Slightly off the thread, I also love raw 90% ground with onions and pepper on pumpernickel. It’s that time of year. Cannibal samiches!

2 Likes
45

Char broiled, smash burgers, flat top, open flame, sesame buns, plain buns, brioche buns, the works, just bacon/cheese/fried onions. Usually 1/4-1/3 lb, just S&P. Maychup, HP & mayo. Depends what I have on hand and how adventurous I’m feeling.

3 Likes
46

I guess I’m pretty easy to please, at least compared to a lot of you HOs. I don’t ask for much from a burger. I want a bun that holds up - no brioche for me, thanks - and I prefer a slice of relatively ripe tomato. A schmear each of mayo and ketchup plus a small dollop of mustard and I’m good. I do like other things on a burger, like cheese (not necessarily anything fancy, even ‘murican will do), as well as lettuce and pickles, but none of those are deal makers/breakers. I do tend to eschew burgers that are so thick I can’t get the freakin’ thing in my mouth, though.

There used to be a joint in town called “The 29 Cent Burger”, which actually sold a plain hamburger for 29 cents. This was back in the early 90s, which would equate to about 70 cents (US) today. They came with exactly three thin slices of pickle, and a small dab each of mustard and ketchup. I loved those things!

3 Likes
47

Funny, the brioche buns at Aldi are sturdy, not too sweet (a decidedly US thing, all those sweet-ish breads :roll_eyes:), and hold up well to a patty.

And they come with sesame seeds :heart_eyes:

1 Like
48

85/15 beef. 5 ounces. Appprox 1/3 tablespoon of Heinz 57 mixed in. Coated with freshly ground pepper and crushed sea salt.

Cooked in a smoking hot skillet on HIGH. 2 and a half minutes per side for MR. No fat added to the skillet.

Fried onions.

Condiments of your choice, but never mayo. No cheese.

Sesame seed bun. I like Big Marty buns.

If it doesn’t have a crusty exterior and red juicy interior, it’s substandard.

49

Is there a mayonnaise on burgers line?
Because I grew up with the mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato combination but I was west of the Mississippi.
I’ve always thought of these as California burgers whether that’s actually their origin or not.

1 Like
50

Mayo is the condiment of choice for many Germans. I didn’t like ketchup until much later in life, and even with fries, I prefer a combo.

Unless the patty is super-fatty, a shmear of mayo to lube up the bottom bun helps the fat red onion slice adhere better (I think). Plus I just like the tang it provides.

No mustard on my burger, ever. My PIC puts it on his, tho.

1 Like
51

I’ve used english muffins as a hamburger bun replacement and they’ve worked very well. The thickness is just right and they usually don’t fall apart. IMHO, the only downside is that they really don’t do a good job of absorbing the juices. So a thick, juicy burger ISN’T going to be a good match for them.

2 Likes
52

The most popular burger joint in Berlin, The Bird, uses English muffins for their buns, which was/is a point of contention. People also got pretty cranky about the menu, specifically some of the burgers names were deemed ‘offensive,’ the instructions on the perfect burger temp (MR), and how to eat them — with one’s hands, of course.

The owner’s a New Yorker through & through, and his attitude permeates the entire menu. The patties are massive (at least 8oz), and very greasy. I think they’re still great burgers, but my system doesn’t handle that much grease well anymore.

Plus, there’s an amazing new smashburger place in town I’d easily scoot the 25 min to, and it doesn’t destroy my insides :slight_smile:

2 Likes
53

It was startling when I first moved to California to see that mayo on burgers is the default. That would be anathema in the northeast. I’ve learned to live with it.

54

Really? I live in the northeast and there’s mayo on burgers all the time, without having to specifically request it.

55

This was in 1980. I guess it spread (heh) to the northeast in the intervening years.

1 Like
56

Ah, ok. I’ve only lived in this strange country since the early aughts.

2 Likes
57

We use well toasted English muffins from time to time. For the juice issue, that is solved by having a mound of tater tots, onto which the escaping juices have a landing pad. But, the English muffins hold up fine and don’t disintegrate. We use the sandwich size version of the Thomas’s.

5 Likes
58

My ideal burgers are mine:

1/3 lb of 80% ground from my local country butcher

Nice thick patty, a bit of S+P

Gas grilled by me, rare to med-rare

No bun, ketchup required.

Preferred additions: pickles, sometimes yellow mustard, homegrown lettuce. Homegrown tomato slice.

About four times a year I enjoy a Five Guys burger, always junior sized.

59

There no one real ‘perfect burger’ imho.

Different strokes:
• quality juicy beef— other proteins make ‘sandwiches on a bun’
• breading—any: brioche, ciabatta, sourdough roll, sesame bun
• wishes: any or all and in different combinations:
Mushrooms, sautéed, grilled/caramelized onions, mild green
chiles
Cheeses: sharp cheddar, bleu, gorgonzola, swiss, processed
‘American’, Monterey Jack
Onions: thin sliced red, white or yellow onion just 1 or 2 thin
rings
Lettuce: leafy (no shredded) crispy dry iceberg, butter or
romaine
Tomato: thick sliced garden beefysteak or thin Romas. Sliced
Green Zebras
Condiments: Mort’s burger sauce (the basic 1,OOO island made
with Heinz type chili sauce), mayo, yellow mustard, spicy
brown mustard, whole grain mustard
NO: jalapenos, pepperoncini, sliced pickles, bacon, guac, fried egg or anchovies, etc.
Important! the bun needs to fit the beef patty and vise versa.
I like the combo of sautéd mushrooms, swiss cheese and whole grain mustard on a juicy burger. Same with jack and green chiles on a juicy burger on sourdough. This has me thinking of the dear old Hippopotamus Burger palace in SF.
How can there be just one ‘perfect burger’?

2 Likes
60

Many here mentioned several different versions, components, condiments, etc. etc. etc.

The thread is about your perfect burger(s). No limits. Go wild.

You did :wink:

2 Likes