Do You Trust Your Spouse/Partner To Shop For Very Specific Groceries?

Thanks, I’ve never heard of them. H does often work through his commutes - conference calls, guiding his supervisors, and resolving certain issues. I’m happy for the podcasts on his slower days, because he doesn’t complain about the commutes too much. When I’m well, I try to have a nice meal for him, or sometimes we’ll cook together. I was very lucky to have only a 15 minute commute when I was working, in little traffic.

Aww, don’t get your feelings hurt, because I don’t think it’s meant to be sexist. I know a lot of women who don’t shop, including a friend who called to ask me what salad oil was :joy_cat::rofl:, as well as women who don’t carefully select their food.

I have to confess, if I had to go to a hardware store for certain things, I’d buy the wrong stuff too! BUT I’ve learned a lot during quite a few big remodel projects, thankfully.

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@bbqboy
My husband actually has way better taste than I do for interior design and organizing. We both know it. He’s just not a fab food shopper. Hope that helps :nerd_face:

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Me, for one. At least not voluntarily, or in person. Believe me when I say I am eternally grateful that husband likes shopping. I HATE shopping. The thread might hit on some stereotypes , but I don’t think that’s one of them. He has patience for things I could never tolerate …including me!U

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Independent of gender, I can’t imagine not selecting one’s own food. I’ve used grocery delivery services a few times including on yacht delivery when time was pressing. I find it all very frustrating - substitutions, missing items, and rough produce. Sending a spouse off without adult supervision can’t possibly be more troubling.

It took my wife a while to get used to the concept my annual big hardware store shop with no list. After a few years of minor projects and repairs around the house for which everything was already in hand she got it. It helps that everything fits in my toolbox, although my toolbox is an 8’ x 14’ x 7’ dual axle standup trailer.

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Totally agree with you @Auspicious, regarding not selecting your own produce carefully. I’m really picky about that, as well as meat selection.

However, I think online shopping where you pick up, and grocery delivery services are a segment of the market that’s going to explode, as baby boomers grow older and start having increasing mobility or transportation issues.

Color me impressed by the size of your toolbox, but not surprised, as you’re an engineer! :smiley_cat:

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Okay, I’m a pretty good cook, and will try to cook (and eat) just about anything, but I have no idea what salad oil is. Yes, I make salad dressings with oil, but I’ve never seen anything in the store with that label. Am I missing something?

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:rofl: I think it’s more about cooks and eaters that need to collaborate to exist.

I’m wondering what could happen to a chef couple: the wife of a chef sends husband to shop, will he be better? He will ban her list or request, or he will act like a normal husband, just do it, no question asked?

I’ve been wondering about this too. If I were a man, how could I tolerate me!!

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That’s so simple and yet so profound.
And true.
:slight_smile:

An interesting point. When I was very young my great aunt had food delivery (special circumstances not relevant). It was okay.

On the other hand when I work with provisioning companies I can often do all my selections on site and they’ll box and deliver. The delivery is the biggest deal.

Story: I remember my grandmother walking to and from Pathmark and hearing my parents tell her to take the bus. Over the years she transitioned to walking to the store and taking the bus home to bus there and cab home to assisted living near my folks and my Mom shopping for her. I get mobility issues. I also see that getting out and being as active as you can be and a little more is good for longevity. Grandpa made it to 94. Grandma (much younger than he) made it to 88. They died when they stopped moving. I don’t really care if its grocery shopping or walking to the fire plug at the end of the block - moving is important. Sorry - I just lost someone in the family and I’m a little morbid.

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I do think a lot about the implications of expectations of conveniecy when it comes to food, at least for many of us. From out of season produce shipped long distances, to "fast food ", to fast food drive through, then all these places that deliver. Has anyone seen that movie Walle?

On another thread about what poor people eat, someone mentioned being poor, but having a vegetable garden. I feel like having a vegetable garden changes everything.

Those two thoughts are somehow connected.

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:smiley_cat:No, @basia, you aren’t missing anything, and it’s true you won’t find it labeled as such in the stores. It comes from older, community or church type cookbooks. For some reason, a neutral vegetable oil just took on that moniker. Guess since I’m a cookbook reader and fan, I’ve known about it for years and think everyone else does too. Kind of like using the word oleo for margarine, which I grew up on, but have never used as an adult, at least willingly…

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Really great question @naf, and one scenario I have never thought about.

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@naf and @shrinkrap, I can definitely relate to your wondering how your husbands can tolerate you at times. Sometimes I can’t even tolerate myself :joy_cat::joy_cat:

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Husband is the cook in the family, which works out well for us. I do have input in the meal planning though and so we shop together pretty successfully for the most part.
The issue for us (me) is the over-shopping that occurs when he goes alone.
Most notably beans and tomato products. To the point that we have to rotate out the dated
cans for the new cans and it is such a waste. Drives me crazy.
But I do like his cooking, so I guess it’s the price I pay.

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Wall-E is a great movie on so very many levels. A very on point reference. Poignantly makes me think of people in electric shopping carts in grocery stores. There are so many elements that can make one think about self-care, focus on convenience, dependence on technology, … For me value for money is important and food delivery–as long as I am able–doesn’t strike me as good value - lower quality for more money. Other’s may have different standards and expectations.

My wife and I have a similar discussion. I like stocking up (toilet paper, facial tissue, paper towels, canned goods) periodically while she feels we have “too much.” Dates come up. Canned goods are pretty well good forever absent rust or swelling. “Best by” has limited meaning in my experience. We have the same discussion about eggs. If an egg goes bad you will KNOW regardless of dating. I remember two cans going bad, both due to rust. I’m 60. Lots of cans. grin I’ve never had a bad egg. Fresh produce on the other hand we have some waste. We do the best we can but some things we just don’t get to in time. It pains me.

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By way of background, my wife and I both cook. Our meal planning centers around who “gets to cook.” We maintain our own shopping lists and meal ideas. When we sit down for weekly meal planning we merge shopping lists into “the list.”

The implications are communication. So if my portabella stuffed with lamb are in the plan and the grocery doesn’t have ground lamb there is no point in buying the mushrooms. Some other things on my list are “that would be fun” such as alphabet pasta (because, c’mon!) or some emotional connection I’d like to fulfill in the next couple of years (Chef Boyardee pizza-in-a-box kit). My wife is less prone to “that would be fun” but the dependencies within a planned meal are the same. These aren’t a matter of trust in shopping, it’s communication.

Now if I could just get here not to leave her phone at the other side of the house when I go shopping it would be easier. I could also use a law that prohibits changing labels on products (which confuses me no end).

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Hrumph ( in my curmudgeon persona). I don’t like being “on call” any better than I like shopping.

Even if it means getting the wrong half-n-half when the manufacturer changes all the labels and colors?