An opinion piece posted by @shrinkrap made me curious about our fellow HOs — this paragraph in particular:
All this overlooks a key fact: The burden of food procurement and cooking is still shouldered overwhelmingly by women, most of whom now also work outside the home. Asking people to cook more is usually asking women to cook more. Even in households that want to make every meal from scratch, the hours — planning, buying, cleaning, not to mention the actual cooking — simply aren’t there. (emphases mine)
Who is mostly responsible for anything relating to feeding your household, i.e. the planning, shopping, chopping, cooking, plating, serving, clearing the table, doing the dishes, etc. — going with the assumption that the majority of our members are in heterosexual relationships?
Finnegan and Murphy don’t give a damn about anything. Just that their food is there when they demand it (letting me know how unhappy they are when it’s not - because they demand it each time I walk into the kitchen).
So it’s me, myself and I. If I have my sister and BIL over? My BIL is the table clearer and dish washer (as he is at their house).
I enjoy food shopping 99% of the time, so if I was in a relationship, I’d still want to do that. When I WAS in several relationships in the past, what came home if the guy I was dating did the shopping was NOT what was on the list. “It was cheaper!” “Yeah, which means it’s watered down/doesn’t taste the same…” Once they figured that out, they stuck with what I put on the list (and I learned to specifically note brand names if I wanted them).
I like cooking - food prep is often relaxing for me. In the kitchen I have now, having someone else in there can be a bit of a tight squeeze (galley kitchen open on both sides). I have my routine down but if I had my druthers, someone else would deal with cleaning the dishes and pots and pans and emptying out the dishwasher.
I do the majority of the cooking, I always have done ,as I enjoy it a lot more than Mrs PB. Since moving to a bigger house and now with having a garden and Mrs PB’s allotment she is doing more of the cooking. Also having an induction hob and losing the wok has made me less at inclined to cook than when I had gas hough Ihave worked out some induction hob strategies.
For lunch if we are both working from home, mainly me as my job is more flexible in terms of taking breaks and I am usually hungry first.
As for prep , we have never shared this . Whoever cooks chops, cleans veg etc . Partly a function of the design of the kitchens we have had, partly due to me not liking people in close proximity when I’m cooking. I’m ok with Mrs PB sitting and chatting with a glass of wine and olives , as long as she doesn’t try and help .
Food shopling is shared for online and if we are out on a Saturday at marketd local fishmonger etc as we do this together . Other bits is me as I don’t work on Mondays and it’s easier for me to nip out during working hours.
Loading/unloading dishwasher is a pretty even split. I mainly do the washing up , especially I cook E Asian or S E Asian food and have used multiple bowls/plates for mis en place. Also MrsPB has a more stressful job and works longer hours than I do so I don’t mind washing up even if I’ve cooked.
I don’t fit the assumption . . . .but I do the heavy lifting for sure . . . . I would also imagine asking this question on a food site is probably inherently biased anyway, but such is the internet. LOL
Yeah, same, kinda. And I do have more flexible/fewer work hours than my dude. It’s my being pretty finicky about what I buy, how things look (produce in particular) that he simply wouldn’t pay attention to. Now, picking the perfect leg of lamb is a whole other story
I have a love/hate relationship with cooking — as evidenced by the fact that I do 95% of it, and my angry outbursts and non-cooperative food items/gadgets/pantry doors
I will add that my boo does more housework than most male spouses in my social circle: vacuum (insufficiently, of course ), dishes, laundry, yardwork, etc.
My BIL leaves absolutely everything to my sis, bc “he always has to work.” Uh-huh.
This is one reason I could never use Instacart. I see them in all stores, rushing around, and some of what gets chosen would piss me right off if I received it. I know they’re under a time crunch to fulfill orders, but paying for something that’s not up to my standards is irksome.
Which is why I mentioned majority n 'at. No doubt our members come from all kinds of backgrounds, but this question was sortakinda pacifically for those of us who are in that kind of living arrangement.
That doesn’t mean singles or peeps in a domestic partnership aren’t allowed to contribute by any means, but I was trying to get to the heart of the paragraph I quoted — which doesn’t strike me as biased at all, but very much a factual representation of just how the majority of het relationships still divide labor in a very gendered manner
Unless, of course, the author is wrong in her assumption, in which case it would be even more interesting to hear from members on a food site and demonstrate the opposite is true.
I tried my best to adhere to my personal standards when I did Instacart, but once they started bundling several orders at different supermarkets so they could pays us even less while still having us on the clock, I said fuck this shit and started my own business
I get to choose my clients, and can take all the time I want to get them the good stuff!
I was just pointing out the we here on HO are a self selecting biased population. So there are intrinsic issues with the data as such.
I would be super curious if the people who frequent and post on a food site are NOT the ones doing the heavy food lifting in their households. But of course it is possible.
Yes… Sunshine has some memory issues and after a small kitchen fire – I couldn’t let her cook anymore. She can heat items up in the microwave, but no stovetop or oven.
Prior to the fire, I did about 90% of the cooking, so it wasn’t a big deal to jump to 100%. Sunshine’s mother didn’t really cook all that much, so Sunshine really didn’t learn much in the way of food preparation.
My grandfather (who was a chef) taught my mother, who in turn taught my sister and me.
Sunshine dislikes grocery shopping, so I usually do it – she really hates the clean up aspect, whereas it really doesn’t bother me.
