I quit 33 years ago and I still dream of smoking.
It really doesnāt go away. At least for me.
Those were nightmares when I first quit. And each subsequent time.
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Somehow this doesnāt make me feel better 
And I must say the patch is pretty useless.
Sorry. That must be rough. Itās a really hard habit to kick. Tho Iāve quit smoking for longer than I have biting my nails 
Yeah, Iām not allowed to drive, friends and family refuse to bring me cigarettes, and somehow in PA you can get all the alcohol you want delivered, but no tobacco 
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I hope you get used to enjoying it without the cigs. It does taste better, actually 
But I totes get it. Booze is my main trigger. Sending you strength 
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I tried the nic gum, no success. A class and Dentyne or Big Red gum gave me the buzz on the tongue. Dreams were just that, Iād light up like before, no nightmares.
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You misunderstood. I was also ājust lighting upā in my dreams. But since Iād quit, Iād wake up thinking OMG did I actually smoke?
So, perhaps more like a waking nightmare, if ya wanna be exact.
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The further it recedes into the rearview mirror, the easier it is to abstain (if not desire). I quit because I was about to have major-ish surgery, and I asked my surgeon what I could do to speed recovery. And he said quit smoking. So I did, because I finally had a good reason, an immediate reason.
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Yeah, I just had surgery and another is looming in the not-too-distant future. The problem is definitely smoking related, but I keep thinking if I just cut back big time . . .
Now that I know family and friends will be of no help, Iām trying to think of people who would like to see me dead (or at least wish me ill) 
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Unfortunately, you have to be ready to let it go. And thatās a hard thing to force.
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Youād think 8 days in the hospital, a few stents in the leg and pending toe amputation would do the trick. I must be more stubborn\addicted than I thought 
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Iām really sorry. It is a pretty powerful addiction. I hope you can tough it out.
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Yeah, Iāve been smoking for far more years than I havenāt. At least I know everybody I know IRL is committed to keeping me away from temptation. Of course I may weigh 500 pounds by the summer if they keep stopping at every bakery and candy store on their way to visit me.
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Oof. Tell them to bring cheese instead.
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Unfortunately thereās plenty of that in the fridge as well.
Apologies. Nightmares have different meanings to different folks.
No apologies necessary 
Every 2 or 3 years or so, the fine folks at Harperās Magazine remember Iām a German stringer for them
Having been chronically under-employed for almost a year now, I welcome this opportunity 
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