Here we go again. I’m frankly surprised there aren’t more glistening food items on the menu, given the generous use of olive oil.
Yikes. They could really use an editor.
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That lobster fondue seems like a steal, although I’m not sure what they mean by lobster fondue. Is there cheese involved? Is the bread bowl filled with hot oil? So many questions.
… that I’d rather not know the answers to.
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Since when is naan Greek?
This restaurant really irks me and I’ve never even been there!
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Trust me, I feel the same way 
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I’ve seen some fever dream food combos in Japan.
- viper ice cream with garlic (tried it; lots of garlic)
- sea cucumber pudding (I tried it; the vanilla extract masked much of the flavor)
- crab shell/squid ink/garlic soda (tried the first two, but they were ho-hum)
- beer made with wasabi (went fine with the wasabi-filled hot dog)
- countless other examples that aren’t springing to mind now
In Hannibal, Missouri (USA), I had butter soda. That was painful.
Then, there’s whatever Japan/China/RoK throw on their pizzas. On the other hand, Indonesia PIzza Hut had dim sum baked into the crust of one of its limited time offerings…
*both links are to my YouTube channel
Sweet corn ravioli “swims in a sweet corn milk” to me sounds like it’s WAY over-sauced.
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I cannot emphasize enough how very much I am not ever going to eat there.
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Aaaaand here we go again. Oh, my.
So. Many. Questions.
Why did they whip that poor smoked salmon? Served with crudites for luddites, mabez?
Also, crostiniS LIKE CHALK ON A BLACKBOARD 
What’s a Brussel? As if whipping the salmon wasn’t enough, the haddock is battered, too, poor guy 
And is the tarter sauce much tarter than your usual tartar sauce? Is “Grandmas” like Christmas, but in February? Would the risotto be less elegant if the lobster pieces took a detour?
Lastly, who doesn’t like their Bloody Mary vigorously shaken and topped “with snack?”
Me.
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Right up there with “Prime Rib with au jus”
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Raviolis, panini for singular or paninis for plural, the random apostrophes (or their omission)…
:deep breaths:
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We all know it’s ‘au jus drippings’ (if straight from the pan), ‘au jus sauce’ (if extended with liquids such as wine, broth, or water), and ‘au jus gravy’ (if thickened).
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so …much…abuse…
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Food assault.
I not bailing them out!
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My cousin’s biggest pet peeve is incorrect pluralization of Italian words. So when he’s being annoying or tells too many dad jokes we regale him with “cannolis”. Took a while for him to see the humor in it but thankfully he caught on. Even his 8 year old daughter is in on the fun.
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After a shit night of sleep this really lifted my mood. That place never fails to crack me up.
So many thoughts, so little time.
Most importantly, I’d be a little worried about the secretive seasonings plotting my demise behind my back (the owner of this establishment is a native speaker, btw ). Really, that one almost made me spit out my cawfee.
Also, the apparent compulsion to include the entire “cooking process,” while also doing it in such a manner that makes it sound like the person writing it was drunk will forever remain a mystery & great source of amusement. We “low and slow” what? How do you deglaze with a garlic cream sauce?
W. T. A. F. F. ???
The Caesar salad is randomly topped with… al dente pasta?And who doesn’t love a “thin” creamy dressing?
That potato salad is definitely unique (not most, not ever), I’ll give them that.
The seafood is butter poached, then simmered? Well HELLOOOOO overcooked scallops, lobster and cod. I’m also really glad they clarified that the spaghetti are, indeed, noodles. Phew!
Still visualizing a margarita served in just a rim, i.e. the perfect vessel* sorry, that would vessle 
You’re welcome 
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I have never tried to cook shrimp “low and slow.” I fear it.
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Maybe the secretive seasonings have a secretive way to make it a safe method?
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Since when is “low and slow” now a verb phrase?
WTAF with “deglazing” with a cream sauce? If the had said “finish with a garlic cream sauce”, OK. But I’m hearing Inigo Montoya say “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means” in my head.
That “pasta salad” is just messed up. (And so is the romaine salad underneath it.)
You either butter poach OR simmer in a tomato sauce. They might as well say “expensive overcooked seafood on top of spaghetti with Ragu”.
NO!!! on that abomination of a “potato salad!”
And vessle? :::sigh:::
You know what? Just give me a slice of the butter pecan cheesecake and a glass of wine (which hopefully, not even THEY can fuck up!) and I’ll call it good.
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