Thank you all for your good juju & kind thoughts!
Update from the chonkster: our friends took him to the vet & Facetimed us. He seemed alert and curious. His abdomen was sensitive to touch, so the vet took him back for x-ray / bloodwork (KA-CHINGGGG). They brought him back to the examination room to look at stuff, and he … uh … relieved himself right then and there 
The x-ray showed that he was backed up. So, in short this was an $800 case of constipation.
Ouch. But of course we are terribly relieved it’s not anything serious.
