My husband and kids have aptly remarked that we spend too much time shopping on the weekends. But it’s true that store 1 has better prices than store 2 on all packaged goods, yet their produce sucks. And only store 3 has really well sourced meats that I feel good eating, so that’s all we really buy there. And the farmers market is a great source of certain produce, and a social opportunity, after my garden closes down. Obviously also, I’m going to Costco every month or so because why would I buy canned beans and oatmeal elsewhere. And yes, then I wonder where the time has gone. But I really like shopping 
So the weekend is almost exclusively shopping, errands, and cooking projects. No downtime until late in the day. It’s silly really. I need to look for those shortcuts.
I have a slow cooker and a pressure cooker/Instant Pot. Since the Instant Pot is both, it certainly makes sense to go with an Instant pot and kill two birds with one stone. I have let things cook overnight in a slow cooker before and occasionally I do leave the house with it going. I know they don’t recommend it just in case Murphy’s Law happens (and I always have that in the back of my head too), but in truth, even the regular slow cookers tend to be quite safe as long as you don’t have old wires, faulty wiring or overstressed circuit breakers in your home.
It takes a lot to burn something in slow cooker as long as there is some liquid in there, but the one thing that slow cookers require is planning. Because things can take a long time to cook, you really have to know what you want to cook at minimum 6-7 hours ahead of time and more likely the day before. 
If your husband is not a food planner, that would not work. Instant Pot is great, if you get comfortable using it, with doing the last minute throw something to get it cooked quickly and still be tasty.
“just in case Murphy’s Law happens”
Ha ha.
I find i’m not worried as much about burning as I am about some twist of fate making me not feel well when I need to feel well.
True, especially while traveling, or having to go to a festive occasion while feeling like total crap.
I do the majority of shopping on line and have everything delivered. Big time saver. I wouldn’t be surprised if, in the not too distant future, supermarket #s dwindle. Since time and schedules are issues, I would try to prioritize. You indicated a slow cooker is not for you.
An indoor grill is another way to go. Fast healthy cooking. Marinate or season your protein, toss it on the grill with vegetables of choice, and dinner is done. There are several great suggestions in this thread from the folks here. Hope you find what works best for you.
So the issue is getting food on the table for four when you aren’t home.
You have lots of options. Some of the comments in this thread are spot on. Some are biased. I did read the whole thread. Here are my thoughts.
First, don’t have two people do a one person job. My wife and I enjoy shopping together but when time presses one or the other of us go. You and your husband can go to different places. This does not apply to taking children shopping. Part of parenting is including children in the process of self-sufficiency.
There is great merit in meal prep. You can double a lasagna recipe and make two 9x13s or three 8x8s and “feed the freezer” - in the fridge to defrost the night before and in the oven for dinner; 8x8s take about 30-40 minutes to cook. Meatloaf can be constructed and frozen uncooked the same way.
You can load up slow cooker dinners in zipper bags or containers and freeze or refrigerate them to be dumped in a slow cooker liner after cleaning the kitchen at dinner and put the liner in the fridge overnight and drop in the slow cooker in the morning. Chilis, shredded chicken or pork. Twelve hours is NOT too long in a slow cooker for anything I can think of you. You just start with a bit more liquid. A bit.
You can make salads in bulk that will keep three or even four days as long as you don’t dress them ahead.
Homemade pasta sauce, pasta, salad - 15 minutes from the front door to the table. we make pasta sauce two gallons at a time. We can it but you could freeze it. It doesn’t take much longer to make two gallons than a pint. Meal prep.
An old fashioned manual slow cooker is my recommendation. Off-low-high. IP is a cult and doesn’t do anything as well as alternatives.
If your husband gets distracted a pressure cooker (a real one, not an IP) would concern me also without timers and alarms. Stovetop pressure cookers are faster than electric ones. Could some added responsibility for your curious 14 year old help?
Kids have homework and such to do when they get home but chores are part of growing up. What can the kids do to help? Responsibility is good for children.
I can’t speak for her (him?) but I suspect so. Also consider that this approach is better for keeping food out of the temperature danger zone than electronic cookers with delay timers. Refrigerator should be at or below 40F and the slow cooker will get it up above 140F within an hour. Proper liquid content will keep food from drying out for extended cook times, especially on low.
You’ve made a lot of excellent points, which I think you can do w/o calling the other posters’ comments “biased.” Everyone here is trying to help.
They need a dinner for 3 not 4, but yeah. We do shop together often, not always. How lame is it if I tell you it’s our “us” time sometimes, because we don’t have any other us time. Pretty lame I guess. But true.
I’m already thinking based on other responses that the slow cooker might be a solution. Bc if he can prep some things in the evening and put them in before he leaves for work, that could solve the problem of having to start from scratch at 6. The kids can do more. They do some already. One is in a play and gets home even later than my husband. Typically 630. The little one (13) could help out, but have you ever tried getting kids to do the things they don’t want to do? Nagging also takes time. And emotional energy. Sometimes it’s easier to do it yourself. Although I 100% agree that they could and should do more. At least the little likes kitchen time, and gets excited about assisting when he’s in the mood. There was a time when I always had an extra few jars in the freezer of chili, bolognese, soup, etc. I need to get back to that place. In the meantime, it is truly amazing when I think I’ve made a big batch of something that we can get at least 2 meals out of - if they like it, they literally hoover it up and then we’re lucky if 1 person gets a lunch out of it the next day. I think your point about divvying up the duties, generally, is spot on, and I’ll try harder to get back to that place.
My comment was in the line of “if the only tool you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail.” The IP cultists wind me up. There is no question of motive, only of contribution. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
I miscounted your family. Apologies. grin
I am a proponent of kids being part of life. Fifty years down stream I know I would have gotten more from helping with meal planning than I did from sweeping driveway gravel, even if I still had to sweep the gravel. I suggest that time together (meal planning, shopping list, shopping - not sweeping gravel) is ‘us’ time. None of that is lame at all. So is cooking ahead.
That is certainly my thought. It works for us. Whether it works for you and your husband depends on you. The idea of prepping the input in a bag is something I haven’t tried but if that makes the difference between Mexican shredded chicken, refried beans, and a salad instead of pizza it is worth a shot.
Nagging only goes so far before it becomes counter-productive.
We find cooking ahead to have great merit. If someone is sick or we just don’t feel like cooking there is always something. My wife likes “feeding the freezer” while I prefer home canning. It doesn’t matter. It’s amazing how much you can make that can be stored either way.
Something I have seen but not experienced is one night a week the kids are responsible for dinner. Being in charge rather than just helping changes the dynamic. It wouldn’t work for all kids and you have to decide but it would give your husband a break, especially if some prep were done ahead and more especially if they help with the prep. As an example you and the kids could assemble canned tuna, peas, and a bechamel in a container on sunday night and on Tuesday they could boil noodles, mix it all up, and shove it in the oven for tuna casserole. Your husband can put his feet up and keep an eye on things. Clean up may be an issue depending on eye-hand coordination. grin College and dorms are not that far away and for your kids to be the ones who say “well, first you make a roux, then whisk in the beef stock - add the sauteed onions - keep an eye on the noodles - how is that sliced beef doing - keep stirring - okay bung in the mushrooms” Ta-da! Beef stroganoff a la veloute. No canned soup and cheap. It’s not only about cooking but organization and leadership. It’s an investment.
A bit older than your kids but I well recall hoovering up an entire large pizza all by myself. I ended up on the floor next to my bed waiting to feel better. Children are often like dogs. They’ll eat whatever is in front of them. Eating like cats takes life experience. grin
Perhaps your children were like dogs.
Mine weren’t.
And aren’t.
But they are both in the pro slow cooker
camp.
Agree with every single point you have made in your posts, except for the dog analogy in your last post. 
My kids were rather picky, while my H & I eat almost everything. I never made food an issue with the kids, and many times they ate Mac n cheese while we had chicken fajitas that were great. When my older daughter tried fajitas the first time, she said “why didn’t you tell me they were so good). This happened with lots of things. Anyway, they were surrounded by lots of food choices and availability at all times. Now they are very sophisticated eaters, so the strategy totally worked for us. I will say, as they got older, I found many family meals that were pleasing to everybody, and that was very serendipitous when that happened.
I have an IP and we do use it fairly often; BUT it takes time to get to pressure and then release. I’m not a proponent of the quick release because I don’t like all that steam close to the cabinetry.
Anyway good thoughts in your post, and they should be helpful to a lot of people.
Yes, essentially. 2 of the slow cookers have removable ceramic inserts, but one is an old fashioned one that doesn’t. It did sound funny the way I phrased it in my post.
Brain doesn’t work as well when I’m in rapid output mode these days…
Dave’s idea for putting the food in slow cooker lining bags, all prepped, is a good one. It’s perfect for the retro one, especially.
I don’t know what that means, but I can’t help but wonder if you mean me, since I mentioned the IP. Does my mentioning an IP make you think I’m in a cult?
My mom “motivated” us by assigning each of us the task of making dinner for the family from start to finish one day a week when we turned 13 (this after having us act as her sous chefs for several years before that, so we were all more or less capable of turning out a decent rendition of one of her simpler meals at a minimum). If we didn’t make dinner, there would BE no dinner, and there would be a very pissed off Dad to deal with as well. That was motivation enough! :)
I guess the word “liners” is what sometimes confuses me. This thread helped me understand the value of thawing food overnight in the ceramic “liners”, but I was thinking a “liner” was something like a brining or roasting bag.
Anywhoo, I am making chicken chili for a crowd, and am using a “West Bend Crockery” slow cooker, a Cuisinart “3-in-1 multicoooker”, and…wait for it…an Instant pot! I am struck by the differences in volume, and will be thinking about how much the ability to saute in the same vessel adds.
I will blister the peppers in the broiler, and I am soaking my small white beans in a brine. I will cook the beans, saute the onion’s and chopped peppers, and thicken the roux , broth and half in half in one or more of the above, then put it all together with the Costco hand pulled rotisserie chicken and heat to safe temps before I go.
[The recipe I use. ](Check out my recipe for Chicken and White Bean Chili on Pepperplate! http://bit.ly/2QuPeUz)
I get it. Although this is a cooking board, I guess my next thing is relevant. Which is that co-parenting is hard when I’m away alot. My husband and I can both have ideas that we agree on, but if he has to enforce when I’m not around, and he is in over his head with all he’s got going on, I tread on thin ice when I tell him he should enforce better, or more, or in any fashion do something that he isn’t. I have to respect that he’s doing the best he can, and sometimes between managing a full time job, 2 kids with lots of homework or activities, the house, the bills, the yard, etc. I can’t really put more on his plate. Even just saying - but I thought we agreed that the kids would …[insert whatever we agreed]. And as I said, my older one doesn’t get home until after my husband, which has been the case for 2 months and will be for another month. I worry about the 13 y.o. cooking at home alone. He gets home 90 min before anyone, and if he cut himself, burned something, forgot to turn a burner off, that would not be a good situation.
Sorry - I feel like everyone is really trying to give suggestions and I’ll I’ve got is why it won’t work well. I didn’t intend to get so far in the weeds here with my personal story.
Makes sense. We cooked alone at that age but always with an adult in the house. Given the particulars of your situation, it sounds like the instant pot and/or a slow cooker with a timer function are your best bets.
