In our family picky goes in three diff camps
Texture is my issue
Wife is picky about whats in it
Son is picky about where its sourced from
But we eat hundreds of foods, know how to prepare foods and can always find something to eat. We dont impose our pickiness on others. We prepare things in a flexible way so we never think about it.
When we were raising our son he was part of the shopping, cooking and cleanup. That I think is more important.
I disliked mushrooms for many years, again texture. Now I adore them, all kinds but still bothered by a few other textures like head cheese and yes there are those raisins again, ugh. I have no idea why, its random as far as I can tell.
My Mother didnt fight us to eat, she didnt have time to nor did she get a lot of pleasure out of cooking after work. But Sunday we spent time together shopping or picking produce. She provided plenty of choices and expected us to help each other fix meals and figure out how to prepare them. My relatives helped teach us too.
I do have vivid memories for being taken to task for working on her car and leaving it messy…that she cared about.
I eat almost anything within reason but do not eat sea cucumber although it is a delicacy. I do not eat poultry feet etc. I does fried squab head!! Delish!
My son on the other hand will not eat most things that are white, ie cream cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise , even whipped cream or cream sauce, feta cheese , other white colored cheese. although he loves , parmesan, old dutch etc. that he eats daily.
He does not eat skin either ( neither do I unless it is crunchy like crispy chicken or duck skin.) He takes the seared crispy duck breast off, give it to my poms who waits for them with saliva drooling down their mouth . They understand the word duck and when we are having duck for dinner, they refused to eat their dinner. Have to spell it as they know the word duck! No fish skins , Salmon skin even if I cook it to a crisp.
My son also will not eat any kind of mushrooms, or ketchup. Anything with ketchup, he abhors.
Growing up , when the school bus driver treats them by driving the kids to McDonald for burgers, he does not participate in those treats.
No raisins either!
Don’t know if this is relevant to this thread but do know that tactile sensation stimulation plays a very large part in therapy for those on the Autism Spectrum. Might apply to mouth-feel in foods too.
My mom is very picky, always has been. When growing up my grandmother made a set rotation of specific meals and “if you don’t like it there’s peanut butter and bread to make yourself a sandwich”. My mom had a lot of pb sandwiches.
She’s slightly more adventurous now, but the list of vegetables she likes is very very short, and generally fresh herbs, strong spices, aged cheeses, and most fruit beyond bananas and apples are all a no.
Surprisingly- and thankfully- my sister and i seem to take after our father who eats about anything. Since my mom was the main cook growing up she would prepare a protein and starch that she liked, and then a vegetable dish she wouldn’t eat. There was also always a salad on the table which she would have some of (the lettuce and raw carrots anyhow).
We would order adventurous new flavors when visiting restaurants or on vacation, and occasionally discovered new to mom foods she liked- such as tzatziki (although she dislikes actual cucumbers), hummus (plain only), and okonomiyaki (first cooked cabbage she has ever liked)
I concur! 
I have heard of stories where parents offer children a set menu of food and if they don’t eat it, no alternatives, and face the consequence that they’d be hungry until the next meal. While fine in theory I have not found that particularly useful in practice. Younger kids, when hungry, just roll around on the floor and melt down, and the idea of dealing with hours of that just isn’t very appealing to me, and not worth the effort. Just makes lives miserable for everyone involved when kids are hungry.
But perhaps that may play a role in why my kids are somewhat picky.
But I should add that while my kids are kind of picky, if I actually count, they actually eat a fairly reasonable number of different foods, just not as wide of a range as I do now. And I don’t really remember what I ate and didn’t when I was at their age. That long term memory didn’t stick. I know by ages 7-10, I ate most of the items I was fed, and only didn’t really eat celery and some mustard greens. I still don’t choose to eat celery but don’t find it as repulsive as I used to.
Reminds me of an old Chowhound thread I started , asking who uses ketchup on Mac & Cheese. Turns out many do, but many find the very idea shocking. After many replies, it appears to be a more polarizing affair than current American politics.
Myself a ketchup fan, I was struck by how many people disdain it in a way they probably do not barbecue sauce, Worcestershire sauce, Sriracha, Harissa, Hoisin, Plum, Sweet Chile, etc.
My conclusion was that ketchup somehow became the Rodney Dangerfield of sauces.
It wasn’t that there weren’t choices - it was that she didn’t like ANY of the MANY choices 
I definitely find the idea of ketchup on mac & cheese shocking, not to mention repulsive! 
I wouldn’t put any sauce on my mac and cheese, though. Why mess with perfection?
Perhaps a little crumbled bacon on top, but no sauce…agreed
Yes, the blue box rules. You’ve inspired me to make some this weekend.
Just curious - are you offering your kids other dishes if they don’t like their food. I also don’t get why you think that kids melt down when they don’t have selection or have to eat what evetybody eats. Never experienced that with our daughter and she never eats differently than us at home or restaurant
No, I am saying kids melt down (and get fuzzy) when they are hungry in general. Which is different from what you assumed I said.
That is also something I have very different experience. I have only seen it with kids were parents raised them in a way that kids use melt down for any, even minor, reason because their parents never showed them how to articulate any problems/issues - and than the actual problem are the kids and not the parents…
There is research on this topic, and the physiological issue is low blood sugar affects the function of the brain, and one of the function that can be affected is emotional control.
https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=90&contentid=p01960
Your link is about hypoglycemic events - a kid who is hungry doesn’t have a hypoglycemic event (if it doesn’t have diabetes). An even non-diabetic hypoglycemia (reactive or fastening) have nothing to do with hungry kids.
We are completely off-topic at this point, but, from the linked article:
“ Hypoglycemia can be a condition by itself
Symptoms… can include:
I have friends where one kid out of 2/3 had this occur - they thought the kid might have behavioral issues, but the wise (and non-judgmental) pediatrician suggested that a snack be fed at the first signs - turns out it was exactly this, and noticing the initial signs dissipated the whole situation.
The kids were too young to know, and the parents had not encountered it before with the other kids so they had no idea. It’s a blood sugar issue, and hunger does not always manifest, so there is no question of articulation - or blame.
A little empathy can go a long way.
