As suggested, a hearty soup can be quite stew like and filling. When we prepare soup for dinner, a side salad, warmed bread and a beverage are plenty filling.
What you are offering to do for your family is generous. I would be grateful just knowing the amount of work involved.
I’m perplexed … if you know this is going to stress your BIL who are you doing it for?
It will not be appreciated no matter what you do, why not take him out for a few dinners, or order in
or take him to a movie.
I was getting anxiety reading this thread.
Everyone’s thoughtful responses are much appreciated. To paraphrase @chowdom, yes, it is an anxiety-inducing situation. Ironically, BIL fancies himself as the “host with the most” and he has no idea how much of a control freak he is (just ask his ex-wife, son, or any of his 4 siblings). We’ll probably take the advice of ordering food in for at least 1 meal. However, this being the holiday season, though, it would be nice to make him at least 1 home-cooked meal and he’s just not in a place to take my queries - I’d rather just do it than ask him, which I know he’ll appreciate. I think I’m leaning towards a sheet-pan roasted chicken dinner on Friday so that the guys can pick on chicken all weekend and a very hearty veggie soup with good bread and salad. Pasta is also something he loves. Copious amounts of wine regardless of what we do.
It’s so thoughtful of you to be so nurturing and flexible about your BIL’s needs and quirks during a difficult time. Your plan sounds like a good balance of comfort and not-too-challenging deliciousness.
If he likes blue cheese, this chicken, gorgonzola and spinach dish feels a bit special and yet other than sauteing chicken breasts, isn’t too mess-producing. I serve it over fresh egg fettuccine, which works well.
http://beta.latimes.com/food/la-fo-sos11b-2009nov11-story.html
Rishia Zimmern’s chicken thighs with shallots is a very flavorful dish and again, not too mess-producing. It would be good with roasted or mashed potatoes or some other start to soak up the juices.
(Hopefully these aren’t behind a paywall. Sorry if they are!)
Good luck, digga. Let that wine flow along with that love.
Well, HO friends, there was good, bad, and ugly this weekend…
Friday - We got in and grabbed lunch at the Greene Turtle near BWI. A choice made out of convenience. Crab cake sandwich was the only crab we had all weekend. It was probably mediocre by Baltimore standards but passable by our Boston ones. Baltimore got icy snow as we arrived…and they don’t treat the roads as is standard in New England so, we went at snail’s pace along with everyone else to the closest TJ’s to my BILs. Due to the traffic and snow, I ran in and out for spring onion’s staples and wine+beer for us at the neighboring wine shop. We ordered-in pizza from a place called Facci for dinner. It was fine but nothing to write home about (margherita, chicken pesto, and one other meat-based one I can’t remember). Wine.
Saturday - Breakfast was bagels at BIL’s place. We spent the day at the National Aquarium which was a lot of fun and then lunch at Heavy Seas was probably our best meal of the weekend. Cool space and more-than-decent pub grub (burger, chicken sandwich, salmon tacos). Liberal use of Old Bay. Beer. Dinner was when the ugly began. We got home exhausted as a whole day with a rambunctious 3-year old can induce. The guys collapsed on the couch and I announced, ok, I’ll go food-shopping for dinner. BIL invited over his son and I headed to the nearby Weis which was gawd-awful and in hindsight, was an omen. I decided on a spicy shrimp pasta in a white wine/garlic/cherry tomato sauce. Simple, right? Started up a pot for blanching broccoli rabe (and later for the bucatini). I got a pan of olive oil going on the electric range (I have a gas range). Well, I got distracted chatting with my nephew-in-law and before you know it, the pan started smoking. A lot. I tried to deal with it before BIL could see it but too late. He yelled a loud “HOLY $#!T” and started opening up every window. I calmly had taken the pan to the garage to air out but then he sat himself in the kitchen to watch my every move. And, of course, dinner betrayed my anxiety. Not my best work, although BIL dug right in before any of us even sat down (he always does this and NIL was clearly very embarrassed). The clean-up occurred immediately as soon as BIL finished his dinner, while the rest of us were eating. Which made dinner even more uncomfortable. More wine.
Sunday - The memorial service was taking place at 1 pm at a winery in Northern VA. There was plenty of mediocre banquet food but the setting was lovely and it was nice to reminisce about our dearly departed. Dinner was takeout Chinese from a place called Asian Court. It was as expected but there were some welcome veggies (Chinese broccoli in garlic sauce that was cooked tender-crisp).
Monday - We were back at BWI by midday and grabbed a quickie snack and drinkie-poo at Flying Dog.
Next time we visit, I will not cook. 
Thank you for sharing. I can relate as I have often been the out-of-town person who cooks. Sometimes, even after you expect people would have forgotten, meals such as these will be recalled with fondness. I chalk it up to the magic of a home-cooked meal.
Thanks for sharing, if that had happened to me in your place, I think I would like to have a good talk with the BIL after the meal. My MIL is very neat and tidy, kind of a manic. I messed with her kitchen many years ago when I first met my hubby and would like to cook them an ambitious “banquet meal” when visiting. She was very forgiving and cleaned instantly behind me without complaining a word, they were happy with the meal, even though I didn’t think it was that fantastic.
Thanks for posting back here- and my gosh OF COURSE the one time you have a legit kitchen disaster it would be in his kitchen…! It sounds like the meal itself came out fine and BIL enjoyed the food - but it might be a few years (or never) before he will be able to laugh about this…
kudos to you for even volunteering to shop and cook after such a long day, i hope others appreciated that much.
Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss. Some people just cant let go of control, me being one of them! Your efforts are appreciated, and at th end of the day, I’m sure your BIL was glad to have had you through this tough time.
Thanks Liza and everyone else on this thread for their kind sentiments and support. 2017 has been an unbelievably bad one, starting with the political nonsense here (I apologize to our ex-US friends on this wonderful board which is blissfully free of such dangerous mindsets or at least discussion of it) and the death of a dear Chowhound friend in April. I’m ready to put this one to bed.
@digga. Hard weekend all over. I am so sorry for your losses. There are some years that can’t appear in the rear-view mirror soon enough.
I’m so with you on this, digga. It’s been very difficult to keep hope and light alive this year. May 2018 be bright and uplifting.
And, at least your challenging weekend is behind you. It sounds like you handled it amazingly well.
I’m not sure if you’re referring to the death of yumyum, digga. If so, although I only knew her through her wonderful chowhound posts, I felt her loss deeply. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been and still be having known her personally.
Excellent advice.
I’ve haven’t read whole thread yet, but for the record, regarding cooking Cacio e Pepe for the first time for a special occasion, with unfamiliar equipment no less, is something I would steer clear of… I make it and love it, but it took a couple tries to nail the few steps. I can’t think of a dish that better epitomizes my ongoing thought about Italian food–doesn’t look or sound fancy, but it has to be done just a certain way.
I’ll chip if I have thoughts after reading the other replies.
One of our frequent minimal mess/effort/ingredient dishes is a pureed vegetable soup. As taught to me by a hostess in France, “never less than 3 vegetables, but not too many more”. So maybe zucchini/onion/potato, or celery/onion/leek, or tomato/red pepper/onion, or… Just simmer together, salt and pepper. You can cook in broth or water. When all is tender, puree with an immersion blender, making it as smooth or as textured as you wish. Maybe enrich with a knob of butter or splash of cream, or not. Embellish as you wish with sour cream, goat cheese, herbs, parmesan, drizzle of EVOO… One pot, one stick blender, done. For example…
LOVE the simplicity and versatility of these.
3 including aromatics? My favorite purées are all single-vegetable (cauliflower, broccoli, carrot, parsnip, butternut squash) - but I’m not counting some subset of onion/shallot/ginger/garlic and a spice or two.
I agree about the purity of flavor with single vegetable purees, but combinations can sometimes create elusive and haunting flavors. And compounding the complexity can be the garnish. We seldom eat the same soup twice due to all of these contributing factors.
re vegetable count, I suppose aromatics don’t really count unless they are major players, and I should add that a little potato is a universal body-builder without affecting flavor spectrum.
