This thread is what I used to call “deep”, but today I can totally relate to a host volunteering "Don’t bring anything!" and meaning it. Our freezer, fridge, cabinets, garbage, recycling cans and even stomachs are bulging! And my car trunk is bulging with “donations”.
Still, unrelated to what the USA means by holidays, one of husband’s patients brought him a tiny bottle of olive oil from Italy. Cherished!
Special! 
I recently brought a small fruitcake I had made. I believe they enjoyed having fruitcake that was not a cloying pile of neon colored candies.
BTW, I am a practicing Christian in a country that has no official religion, and I, too, am tired of having Christmas shoved at me. It seems to have virtually no meaning that relates to my faith, but then we are all free to act kindly, generously, and openly regardless of our faith or lack thereof. I think that perspective should be brought to every gathering.
I was wondering what gifts doctors would cherish from patients.
I was lucky, after close to 5 years of actively searching, to find a really kind family doctor for someone in my family. I brought the doctor and his receptionist baskets from my local orchard shop.
2 gifts from patients I remember most, that a doctor in my family received, were a gift of home-made sugarplums and a gift of heritage tomato seeds.
Same. Although when I am hosting and have planned a dinner I really prefer guests not bring a food item. Your candied yam dish doesn’t really mesh with my italian themed menu. 
OTOH, agree with emglow about not arriving empty handed. I try to think about what I would NOT want if I were the host. Please don’t bring a dish which needs to be refrigerated unless you are also bringing the chilling equipment. The last thing the host needs is to try to find a space in the already stuffed appliance and then an appropriate serving dish.
As the host I am not going to give you a chore so please reciprocate. A bottle of something can always be used or not. Doesn’t have to be alcohol, could be a nice sparkling water. I’ll never be miffed if I asked you not to bring something and you comply.
As a doctor’s wife, those sound wonderful!
FWIW, my husband accepts gifts from patients, but in my specialty, with as much grace as I could muster, I would not.
I can understand that.
A family friend, who is retired, tells the story of one patient, a kind older man, giving him (at the time, a 30something doctor), an open bottle of rum for Christmas, with about half left, if I remember right. This would have happened about 50 years ago.
After making sure it was permitted, I gave my surgeon a bottle of home made wine and a jar of home-cured olives. She loved both of them.
Very thoughtful
It’s out of print now but I loved the book The Seventh Daughter, autobiography by Cecelia Chiang. What a remarkable life she had, died a few years ago at age 100. My primary doctor is a lady, Chinese-American. I ordered excellent used copies (one for each of us) and gave it to her about a month ago. The only recipe I’ve made is her chicken broth.
I wouldn’t take a cake to a party if I was asked not to bring anything. Or, I’d ask specifically if it’s ok to bring a cake. And don’t bring it if they say no.
They may feel obligated to serve it even if they have already planned dessert in the context with their overall menu.
Assuming that everyone, or even people you think were raised Christian, would appreciate a Christmas-themed gift is Not A Good Idea At All.
Making assumptions about anyone we don’t know very well usually isn’t a great idea.
That said, after having reread the entire thread again, 2 years later, I continue to be tickled by the confusion and near endless debate over etiquette and what could possibly be appropriate.
Unless one is invited by complete and utter strangers, none of this should be a guessing game.
But we decidedly lucked out with our extensive circle of friends. These are complete non-issues, and thank goodness for that.
In our “Circle of Friends”, I’m known for baking/making desserts. Most of the time Sunshine is told – and Dan is in charge of dessert.
We even got a specific request for Chocolate Peanut Butter rolls for one party/get together. Apparently, Sunshine was bragging about them to a girlfriend, thus they were requested.
But you are correct if this is a blind invitation and we know nothing about the party, then yes clarification is required.
Edited to add: There was another occasion that was actually a birthday party and I was put in charge of the cake. I don’t have a picture of that cake, but it was thoroughly enjoyed!!
I was talking about myself, whom I know very well, when I posted:
Assuming that everyone, or even people you think were raised Christian, would appreciate a Christmas-themed gift is Not A Good Idea At All.
the few times I’ve been. handed Christmas-themed gifts, I was politely appreciative. It did show me that people I thought knew me fairly well were just making blanket seasonal assumptions. I didn’t hold them it against them at all.
I can see why Sunshine bragged, the request was made, and why you are often put in charge of dessert.
Do you have a link to your recipe for those chocolate peanut butter rolls? Looks amazing!
I gave a doctor a cake I made for a Christmas gift. When next I saw him he said that they loved the cake, and could his wife, a professional chef, get the recipe? It’s now their family’s favorite cake.
Well, when one guest arrives 30 minutes early without warning, when I am still trying to finish up, asks for a glass of wine, and hands me a bouquet of flowers, I can’t stop finishing up for the appetizers and getting stuff in the oven and plotting out a four course meal for 10 to handle finding a vase, cutting the stems off, and getting them in a vase when she announces that they need to be put in water immediately.
I love fresh flowers. I can’t handle them while making last minute preparations.
This half- breed Jewish girl gives you a thumbs up. Aside: I love giving/sending Xmas gifts, regardless of the nuances of faith. Ditto Hanukkah gifts.
Decent, generous behavior is just that.
This is my own made up recipe. Through trial and error I have perfected these treats. SUNSHINE ABSOLUTELY LOVES THEM!!
Chocolate Peanut Butter Roll Candy
1/2 stick room temperature (good quality) soft butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons of milk (whole milk preferred)
4 tablespoons of Hershey’s unsweetened Cocoa powder
2 cups of 10X powdered sugar (have more available)
3/4 jar of peanut butter (smooth) 16 ounce jar
Mix 10X powdered sugar in a bowl with cocoa powder. Add butter, vanilla extract & milk and knead the mixture with your hands. Have a helper add 1/4 cup of powdered sugar until the mixture is not sticky and will roll out (kind of like bread dough). If you add too much 10X powdered sugar and dough becomes dry just add a little more soft butter and knead it in.
Using 10X powdered sugar dust two pieces of parchment paper (or wax paper), take 1/3 of the mixture and roll it out between the parchment paper. Try to get it to a thickness of 3/16" to 1/4", remove top parchment paper. Taking a butter knife, cut the blob you just rolled out into a rectangle shape. (Save the scraps for re-use) Spread peanut butter on top rectangle about 3/16”" to 1/4" same as mixture thickness. Starting at one end, use your thumbs to begin to make the roll. Roll it up into a log and place on a heavy plate. Repeat making up logs until you have used up all of your mixture. Place the plate (with the logs) on it in the freezer for 1 hour. Remove from freezer and cut into 3/4” slices and put in a freezer bag. Place freezer bag with pieces back into freezer and enjoy one or two pieces at a time.
Edited to add picture of logs/rolls before freezing and cutting.
