A fancy scented candle can be nice. A little pretty serving thing like an olive wood board, nut bowl, etc.
I wouldn’t bring things that they are likely to put out anyway, unless it’s for a special reason – some cheese you know they would enjoy but not otherwise encounter, but not anything “normal”.
Ditto wine, many of my friends are too picky about it, but some unusual or special alcohol or accoutrement goes (eg I took Italian cocktail strawberries and cherries to friends who like mixing old fashioneds and similar things).
I could stockpile a few for you and send them to NYC via a Canadian traveller at some point.
Unfortunately, shipping a $7 CAD 1 lb white Toblerone would cost close to $25 CAD. And who knows how much duty could be when the New Tariffs start. LOL
Hopefully the sniffer beagles and sniffer German shepherds at the airport won’t be looking for white Toblerone.
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ChristinaM
(Hungry in Asheville, NC (still plenty to offer tourists post Hurricane))
185
I don’t remember if I responded to this thread originally. Probably. I like to bring homemade jam or preserves, good honey, or a pre-arranged contribution like an appetizer, salad, or dessert. A guest recently brought a loaf of Hungarian country white bread with fennel that was pretty delicious. If I bring wine it’s usually with the hope that it will be served with the meal.
This thread is what I used to call “deep”, but today I can totally relate to a host volunteering "Don’t bring anything!" and meaning it. Our freezer, fridge, cabinets, garbage, recycling cans and even stomachs are bulging! And my car trunk is bulging with “donations”.
Still, unrelated to what the USA means by holidays, one of husband’s patients brought him a tiny bottle of olive oil from Italy. Cherished!
I recently brought a small fruitcake I had made. I believe they enjoyed having fruitcake that was not a cloying pile of neon colored candies.
BTW, I am a practicing Christian in a country that has no official religion, and I, too, am tired of having Christmas shoved at me. It seems to have virtually no meaning that relates to my faith, but then we are all free to act kindly, generously, and openly regardless of our faith or lack thereof. I think that perspective should be brought to every gathering.
I was wondering what gifts doctors would cherish from patients.
I was lucky, after close to 5 years of actively searching, to find a really kind family doctor for someone in my family. I brought the doctor and his receptionist baskets from my local orchard shop.
2 gifts from patients I remember most, that a doctor in my family received, were a gift of home-made sugarplums and a gift of heritage tomato seeds.
Same. Although when I am hosting and have planned a dinner I really prefer guests not bring a food item. Your candied yam dish doesn’t really mesh with my italian themed menu.
OTOH, agree with emglow about not arriving empty handed. I try to think about what I would NOT want if I were the host. Please don’t bring a dish which needs to be refrigerated unless you are also bringing the chilling equipment. The last thing the host needs is to try to find a space in the already stuffed appliance and then an appropriate serving dish.
As the host I am not going to give you a chore so please reciprocate. A bottle of something can always be used or not. Doesn’t have to be alcohol, could be a nice sparkling water. I’ll never be miffed if I asked you not to bring something and you comply.
A family friend, who is retired, tells the story of one patient, a kind older man, giving him (at the time, a 30something doctor), an open bottle of rum for Christmas, with about half left, if I remember right. This would have happened about 50 years ago.
It’s out of print now but I loved the book The Seventh Daughter, autobiography by Cecelia Chiang. What a remarkable life she had, died a few years ago at age 100. My primary doctor is a lady, Chinese-American. I ordered excellent used copies (one for each of us) and gave it to her about a month ago. The only recipe I’ve made is her chicken broth.
I wouldn’t take a cake to a party if I was asked not to bring anything. Or, I’d ask specifically if it’s ok to bring a cake. And don’t bring it if they say no.
They may feel obligated to serve it even if they have already planned dessert in the context with their overall menu.
Making assumptions about anyone we don’t know very well usually isn’t a great idea.
That said, after having reread the entire thread again, 2 years later, I continue to be tickled by the confusion and near endless debate over etiquette and what could possibly be appropriate.
Unless one is invited by complete and utter strangers, none of this should be a guessing game.
But we decidedly lucked out with our extensive circle of friends. These are complete non-issues, and thank goodness for that.
In our “Circle of Friends”, I’m known for baking/making desserts. Most of the time Sunshine is told – and Dan is in charge of dessert.
We even got a specific request for Chocolate Peanut Butter rolls for one party/get together. Apparently, Sunshine was bragging about them to a girlfriend, thus they were requested.
But you are correct if this is a blind invitation and we know nothing about the party, then yes clarification is required.
Edited to add: There was another occasion that was actually a birthday party and I was put in charge of the cake. I don’t have a picture of that cake, but it was thoroughly enjoyed!!
I was talking about myself, whom I know very well, when I posted:
Assuming that everyone, or even people you think were raised Christian, would appreciate a Christmas-themed gift is Not A Good Idea At All.
the few times I’ve been. handed Christmas-themed gifts, I was politely appreciative. It did show me that people I thought knew me fairly well were just making blanket seasonal assumptions. I didn’t hold them it against them at all.
