I gave a doctor a cake I made for a Christmas gift. When next I saw him he said that they loved the cake, and could his wife, a professional chef, get the recipe? It’s now their family’s favorite cake.
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Well, when one guest arrives 30 minutes early without warning, when I am still trying to finish up, asks for a glass of wine, and hands me a bouquet of flowers, I can’t stop finishing up for the appetizers and getting stuff in the oven and plotting out a four course meal for 10 to handle finding a vase, cutting the stems off, and getting them in a vase when she announces that they need to be put in water immediately.
I love fresh flowers. I can’t handle them while making last minute preparations.
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This half- breed Jewish girl gives you a thumbs up. Aside: I love giving/sending Xmas gifts, regardless of the nuances of faith. Ditto Hanukkah gifts.
Decent, generous behavior is just that.
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This is my own made up recipe. Through trial and error I have perfected these treats. SUNSHINE ABSOLUTELY LOVES THEM!!
Chocolate Peanut Butter Roll Candy
1/2 stick room temperature (good quality) soft butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons of milk (whole milk preferred)
4 tablespoons of Hershey’s unsweetened Cocoa powder
2 cups of 10X powdered sugar (have more available)
3/4 jar of peanut butter (smooth) 16 ounce jar
Mix 10X powdered sugar in a bowl with cocoa powder. Add butter, vanilla extract & milk and knead the mixture with your hands. Have a helper add 1/4 cup of powdered sugar until the mixture is not sticky and will roll out (kind of like bread dough). If you add too much 10X powdered sugar and dough becomes dry just add a little more soft butter and knead it in.
Using 10X powdered sugar dust two pieces of parchment paper (or wax paper), take 1/3 of the mixture and roll it out between the parchment paper. Try to get it to a thickness of 3/16" to 1/4", remove top parchment paper. Taking a butter knife, cut the blob you just rolled out into a rectangle shape. (Save the scraps for re-use) Spread peanut butter on top rectangle about 3/16”" to 1/4" same as mixture thickness. Starting at one end, use your thumbs to begin to make the roll. Roll it up into a log and place on a heavy plate. Repeat making up logs until you have used up all of your mixture. Place the plate (with the logs) on it in the freezer for 1 hour. Remove from freezer and cut into 3/4” slices and put in a freezer bag. Place freezer bag with pieces back into freezer and enjoy one or two pieces at a time.
Edited to add picture of logs/rolls before freezing and cutting.
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How this thread managed to escape my notice until now is beyond me, but I have some thoughts.
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Invited: I was raised to bring a host/ess gift, no matter what the occasion. (Within reason, of course.)
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…to a dinner party (bring nothing): Interpreted to mean "don’t bring any food or drink to contribute to the meal, because that’s all covered.
So reading between the lines, I would bring a gift for my host/ess. Could be a bottle of wine - with the explicit request that the host/ess stash it away for their consumption at a later time - but only if I know they are wine drinkers. Could be flowers, but only if I also provide a vase and am willing to arrange the flowers in the vase appropriately, and also if I know what the host/ess’s allergy and flower preference situations are. Could be a box of chocolates, with the same request as the wine. Could be a jar of something I’ve recently put up (jam, pickles, salsa - whatever I know the host/ess likes). And one time I brought a party game when I knew the other invited guests would enjoy it and I’d cleared it with the host that it would be appreciated (Cards Against Humanity, if you must know).
My mom taught me that host/ess gifts are a thing. They’re a token to show your appreciation for being invited. Mom was born in China but grew up in the US, and I have no idea where she learned the etiquette of host/ess gifts. It’s also my understanding, however, that host/ess gifts are part of the social contract in Japan, too, to the point where the Japanese give themselves fits in a war of politeness. My paternal grandmother was kind of passive aggressive when it came to gift giving. She was a very competitive woman!
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Wow! Please share!
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In Austria I was taught it’s polite to bring fresh-cut flowers when invited to someone’s home for tea, dinner, whatever. They are covered with florist paper, which you whisk off the moment they open the door to present them with their bouquet. These were mostly older people teaching this tradition, so I wonder if it’s maybe a bit outdated.
ETA:
http://www.ediplomat.com/np/cultural_etiquette/ce_at.htm#:~:text=When%20invited%20to%20someone’s%20home,%2C%20chocolates%2C%20brandy%2C%20whisky.
Copyright 2016 (although the website looks like it dates from 2000).
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We only go to dinner parties where we know the hosts well, so we always tote along nice bottles of wine that we enjoy together.
I also love bringing flaky salt in festive packaging purchased at the grocery store (not souvenir shops with their silly markups) from countries we have visited. It’s an inexpensive gift that is appreciated by the cooks in the host family.
Some Icelandic examples: that I have gifted:
I bought a particularly flaky one in the Azores that was like < $5 that made for a fun finishing salt. Kept one for myself, and gifted the other. I’m not home and I can’t find a photo online but it was just a simple grocery store purchase. And the recipient was delighted.
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Be hard to gripe about that. Good Oo they can keep when you leave and finish salads and what-have-you with it and think of you.
Dinner party suggests a somewhat fancy event, unlike a pot luck or backyard bbq. Lately, I’ve brought breakfast treats. Homemade ( or from a very good bakery) muffins, coffee cake and so on. High end coffee beans or tea. A bottle of good Prosecco and a bottle of fresh oj. Clear message is the gift isn’t intended to be shared with other guests, doesn’t ruin the flow of dinner prep, and may be enjoyed the next day or frozen. Only the oj needs refrigeration.
A hostess or host gift doesn’t have to be edible. Books, note cards, coasters, candles. Those are fine for re-gifting, too.
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I ended up bringing a bottle of Zenato Amarone, a bottle of Chardonnay from Oregon’s oldest vineyard, and some local maple sugar
to the dinner party on NYE.
It turns out the hostess served us Cesari Amarone at dinner, and Amarone is also one of her favourite wines. We are both Tauruses. Maybe that’s why we are both Amarone fans, and a little stubborn. 
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I love those maple sugar candies!
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I took a bottle of Champagne as a gift to a silver wedding anniversary. When the couple opened it, someone in the group (of above 20) suggested opening it and sharing it; the thought of everyone each getting a thimbleful of unchilled expensive Champagne horrified me. The lady who received the bottle (a much-loved in-law) turned to me sweetly and asked (she knows me well), “Is this meant to be shared by all of us?”, to which I replied, “No, it’s for you and Georges to drink alone.” Matter settled.
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Regifting potential is a happy gift in itself. If a gift is a swing and a miss, then the hosts have something nice to take to the social engagement where they are guests (provided it’s not in the same social circle, of course).
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Well played, that one.
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I have sometimes been open with friends in the same group, about regifting, especially if the gift will be a good fit for someone in the group.
I also learned something as a hostess at one point. When receiving a lot of wine at a part from a lot of people, write a note on the bottle that mentions who gave each bottle (in pencil) or keep a list elsewhere. Esp, if you’re going to regift the wine, so you don’t give it back to the people who gave it to you.
Once, a friend brought me Alize liqueur as a hostess gift. I assumed she liked it, since she had given me a bottle.
I went out and bought her a bottle as a hostess gift.
She laughed when she took it out of the wine bag, and told me she had regifted that first bottle to me. 
It was something she and her husband probably didn’t want. Lol
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Me, too. But don’t we all know someone in our lives who would feel less valued about a regift, so I do tread thoughtfully. Sounds like we are on the same page.
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Communication is everything. Everything.
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True.
And fie on s/he who suggested opening and sharing it!
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