I’ve always used 1T butter, 1T flour to 1c milk for basic bechamel, depending on end use - there are times I might want it thicker, but I don’t want to be able to stand a spoon in it! 
For mac and cheese, I use even less flour since the cheese and the starch from the pasta thicken it further.
Since the bechamel wasn’t the issue, hopefully you found something that worked better for you.
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When he first put that under the broiler I thought oh no, this needs some kind of crispy flavored breadcrumb topping. He delivered. He also reminds me of Robert Downey JR. Not that that’s a bad thing. 
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Parsnip gratin, leek gratin, and celeriac gratin when over well when I made them last winter.
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I do not think cheese is mandatory. I make a Swiss chard one that is more of a veloute flavored with nutmeg topped with panko.
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Oh, was just referring to the reference of melty cheese.
Country Crock makes a plant cream that does an admirable job of it.
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It’s a recipe I found online (some guy named Mitchell Davis), that I messed with a bit until it was perfect and needed no further adaptations, like a crocodile.
Goes like this:
Macaroni & Cheese (modified from Mitchell Davis’ Kitchen Sense)
Makes 6 to 8 servings
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 cup bread crumbs
4 ounces parmesan, grated
8 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
8 ounces aged gouda, shredded
1 pound cavatappi
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups milk
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
8 ounces cream cheese
Preheat the oven to 400°F.
Grease a 2-quart baking dish with a 3 tablespoon slice of butter, and throw the rest of the butter in a 3 quart saucepan. Shake half the breadcrumbs around in the dish so they stick to the sides and bottom. Combine the other half of the breadcrumbs with half the parmesan and set aside.
Cook the pasta in a stockpot half-full of water for 10 minutes. Drain and return to the pot.
Over medium high heat, melt the butter in the saucepan, add the flour and stir with a wooden spoon until the roux smells like toasted flour, about 2 minutes. Add the milk and whisk until the mixture boils and thickens, about 4 minutes. Lower the heat and whisk in the mustard and Worcestershire sauce. Add the cream cheese and stir until melted.
Pour the cheese over the pasta, and pour the hot cream sauce over that. Stir until well-combined. Spoon into the baking dish, sprinkle the bread crumb/parmesan mix on top, and dot with the remaining tablespoon of butter. Bake for 40 minutes.
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Copied and saved. Might have to make that for my next potluck. Is it as rich as it sounds?
If you eat it before you top and bake it (and you certainly can!), it will be very rich. But the baking stage firms it up so that it’s slice-able and more like a loaf than a pudding. Meaning you can eat even more of it.
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That sounds incredible. I have decided that one of the keys to great macaroni and cheese is not using macaroni. I have settled on orecchiette. I make a béchamel but substitute Sriracha for the nutmeg, use cheddar and gruyere to turn the béchamel into Mornay, top with cheddar, Gruyere, panko, and Parmigiana. I like your idea of adding cream cheese a lot.
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Panko is a good idea, for sure. Italian Americans (at least the ones I know) use the word “macaroni” to describe every kind of pasta. So my recipe is true macaroni and cheese. Just not elbow macaroni.
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I ordered Trini Mac Pie from a restaurant called Patois in Toronto recently, and it’s sliceable, too. Delicious.
Something like this. https://cookingwithria.com/2013/08/trinidad-macaroni-pie/
The cream cheese keeps it from separating.
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I never have an issue with separation, but what isn’t better with cream cheese?!
Sweet potato and Parm gratin with thyme, inspired by this. It was okay. I might try another cheese next time or another recipe that has more herbs and spices https://www.southernliving.com/spiraled-sweet-potato-gratin-6834022
Tomato Gratin/ 1:1 cheese to mayo,
on top of sliced, salted and drained tomatoes
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SASHIMI!
Is eggplant parm a gratin? Maybe!
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I think it is!
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