LOL - well, in Connecticut it literally means going out now - patio service only!
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Good one @eleeper - Iāve nearly forgotten.
Weāre pretty casual up here, and most of the places Iāve lived in fact. Things are even taken to a higher level of casual in parts of California, Oregon and Hawaii IMO. In Seattle itās common at musicals to see people in their Birkenstockās and casual rainwear. Same applies to most, but not all restaurants. Younger people on dates tend to dress up more. Weāve been to shockingly fabulous restaurants well underdressed, yet blended with the way most tourists tend to dress in the places we visit.
The paradigm is starting to shift. Iām dressing up more when we go out, and enjoy it a lot. The last time we were out, I showed up at a dinner with with 2 other couples pretty dolled up. Think they were shocked. Due to a situation earlier this winter, I was in pajamas mostly, except for appointments, usually of the medical nature. So it was a pleasure after that ordeal to make a real effort. And I wore the highest heels In which I could walk. By that I mean the highest comfort shoes that were safe to hobble around in. Oh, I started to dress up a few times a year, about 8 years ago. I enjoy the experience more. The most recent, with the two other couples hadnāt seen me at that level of dressed up.
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I donāt mind it at allā¦Itās good but not to every place. However, generally when I go out with my friends I take care of what to wear so this is nothing strange for me:)
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Welcome to HO, Marie!!
Somewhere above I tend to agree with you, Iām in a suit and tie all day so 90% of the time Iām dressed up anyway, so itās not a big deal with me.
Anywayā¦welcome to Hungryonion, nice to have you here!
Most places gladly accept smartly casual dress which is me.
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Wow. Such a blast from the past to see that I posted on the thread so many years ago. My updated view is that Iām guessing that people mean different things by dressing up. In my world we stopped wearing suits a while ago. I have a closet full of Italian suits, English dress shirts and Hermes ties. They hardly see the light of day. But giving up suits hasnāt meant that the subtle signs of what you are wearing indicating where you fit are not there. That group of louts at the table in the corner at a 4* restaurant wearing jeans and pullovers and sneakers? Theyāre quite fashionably and expensively dressed. The rumpled t shirt? Itās linen. The hoodie is cashmere. The jeans cost more than dress pants. The sneakers? Forget about those. Limited edition you can only get them if you know someone. What dressing up means to one group is very different to another. The way we dress evolves. One reason why men donāt put on tights and powdered wigs when they go out to a nice restaurant anymore.
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Of course they do! LOL I guessed right - first thing that came to mind was Italian loafers w/o socks. Now, not saying thatās your jam, but I did look up smart casual for men, and bingo! A good look, in any case, along with other examplesā¦
My lack of clarity is due to my extremely casual environs. Also thereās the problem of:
Pandemic Casual - Hair combed, just, sweats, mask, crossed fingers that no one sees you as you order takeout.
Pandemic Smart Casual: More pulled together, face & hair somewhat groomed, but masked, nicer comfort clothes, and dress up flip flops! But YMMV. 
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However, while mowing and doing yard work I am the Oliver Wendell Douglas of the community. 
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I confess, I had to look it up - now Iāve got that theme song as an ear worm! Yikes!
But funny 
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This past weekend, we were in the Catskills for a few days and my husband made a comment to me about how everyone around us looks homeless. I started laughing. Iām not sure what homeless person can afford $600 Golden Goose sneakers and $3,000 Alexander McQueen dresses!
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A side comment:
āDressed upā is being taken here as ādressed up in Western Uniformā. A suit-and-tie for men in a sober color (no neon-pink) and a dress or a pantsuit (thanks, Hilary) for women. Shoes for men and heels for women. No sandals for anyone.
But, weāre in multicultural America in 2021, and (although thereās fierce and serious resistance to this, and there will be serious battles ahead), we need to make sure we understand what that means dress-wise. I once tried to get into a burger-and-brew bar in Port Jefferson (Long Island, NY) wearing a fancy embroidered silk kurta and was denied entry because my shirt had no collar. That kurta was probably worth more than all the other shirts at the bar put together, and was certainly better-looking. Similarly, a fancy pair of hand-made Kolhapuri chappals might be better looking and more expensive than most shoes, but will be rejected because dimwits deem it a sandal.
Iām all for dressing well*, but, in this day, we who see ourselves as more broadminded than others must argue ā in fact, fight ā for a broad interpretation of what it means to dress well.
- When we were married, my wife had a dress designed and made for her. The expectation for me was that Iād rent a tux. (I donāt rent anything, and years later when we were invited to Eva Zieselās 100th birthday party at the Hungarian consulate in NY, I friggin;ā bought one for that one occasion.) I bought yarns of raw silk from the garment district in NY, conveyed it to my wifeās designer, showed her pictures of Indian Princes, and had her make me the requisite outfit
(If you canāt marry like an Indian prince in Huntington, NY, whatās America for?)
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Such excellent points you make!! Iāll bet both you and Mrs fooddabbler looked like a million bucks in your made to order finery! And the no-collar thing leaves me speechlessā¦
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Pictures please!
I think we got married near Huntington too, but more like a WEST INDIAN prince.
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If I had a dollar for every time I heard that exact line: āBut this ((insert clothing type)) cost more than the suit you are wearingāā¦when explaining dress code rules to someone.
Personally having been on both sides of this subject, I completely understand and respect your particular situation, a kurta is considered formal attire within the community. However I doubt that the burger and brew bar enacted that policy specifically to thwart a specific community to dine in their establishment, itās simply the best way to have a āstandardizedā policy. It becomes a very slippery slope when you start using personal discretion as to what is āacceptableā exceptions to a policy.
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I am puzzled by what brew bar/pub has a dress code beyond no shirt no shoes no service. Collared shirt required??!! I would think that a large number of people would be wearing a t shirt in any brew pub, how could they keep anyone out based on that?
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I donāt care whatās in those beers, I aināt putting on a collared shirt to go to a fucking brew pub.
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Iām surprised I missed this one first time around. Or maybe I just thought āhere we go againā.
Anyway, my standard āgoing outā attire involves chinos and a short sleeved collared shirt. It works for the local Indian place and it works for the Michelin 3* places Iāve been to. I donāt feel out of place in either. On the other side of that coin, I choose not to go to the small minority of places here that have ājackets requiredā policies and also generally avoid the small number fo ājacket preferredā places.
FWIW, we go to a couple of Michelin 1* places with some regularity. One has no dress code. The other states its code as āsmart and informal. Sportswear, ripped denim or shorts are not accepted.ā Their serving staff staff are always the most smartly dressed people in the room.
How quaintly monocultural of you.
@BKeats This was many, many years ago when tshirts were less acceptable than now.
On the āno shirt no shoes no serviceā, issue Iāve always wondered what would happen if you wandered into a bar with shirt and shoes, but no pants. Havenāt had the guts to try. Perhaps you?
