No, you misunderstand. I don’t think its disrespectful at all at a more casual or every day type of restaurant. I do think it is at a white cloth upscale restaurant where special care is taken to beautifully present food, excellent service and a beautiful setting. I think I can return the favor by not showing up in shorts, as I have seen. Again, we go out a lot and we go out casually. We rarely do the really upscale places any more, but if we do, we dress appropriately. And by that I mean business casual or business attire. Maybe a jacket but not a tie - not a gown or anything!!!
2 Likes
Would this subject fall into the domain of restaurant etiquette? Especially as it pertains to our current morays.
1 Like
And it is also about showing regard for the other guests in a white table cloth dining room in which the owner and staff have invested all that you describe.
4 Likes
Yes, you are right.
1 Like
This.
1 Like
[quote=“gutreactions, post:22, topic:7020”]
our current morays.
It’s about sensitivity to the “eelings” of others. 
4 Likes
What does dressed up a bit mean? Do you mean full blow business suit or business causal? Business causal definitely. Formal business clothing – no, some big events like weddings.
I read somewhere a year ago perhaps, an observer dining in Passedat’s 3 starred Le Petit Nice in summer, nobody was wearing any tie, not even jackets.
In France, many starred restaurants don’t care very much if you dress up. Sometimes, it’s even a bit strange to see people over dressed up.
I don’t mind dressing up a bit to match the occasion when going to restaurants back at home. But, this can be a problem when travelling for leisure. I don’t particularly want to bring dresses, shoes and bags in my backpack when travelling especially in hot summer. We didn’t have much problem in eating in fine dining in Bangkok, Vietnam or Malaysia. (I always have an outfit that is a bit more dress up but no heels) They didn’t even care, even when hubby went with scandals or black sport shoes and tee shirt.
Personal experience, Hong Kong is the place that is more strict in dressing code especially in hotels. I have been refused from a bar in Excelsior by being too causal. The girls were all wearing heels, and dresses. Another time, when I went to lunch in Mandarin Hotel, the server glanced at me liked a scanner at the reception area, from head to toe. It was maybe 3-4 years ago. I was wearing a dress and flat shoes.
1 Like
I think you need to be carful with assessing any restaurant/fashion culture against your own paradigm. In France ties are rare, even with men in business dress, people dress with a certain style and can seem quite casual but in some respects its just as much a uniform as a coat and tie, or the chinos and blue sport coat for a US visitor.
In Hong Kong its a mix of smart western dress and expensive casual (often PRC nationals) including matching black Addidas track suits. Hotels will often not let in people wearing certain items of clothing i.e. shorts or thongs for men after 6:00pm in the bars of the Mandarin Orientals (Excelsior is one of their brands)…you may have been OK but maybe not your husband.
The waiter looking you up and down isn’t scanning your dress sense they are working out how deep your pockets are based on the the clothes and accessories you sport and therefore which table to seat you at and therefore how good a tip they will get 
That episode in the Excelsior Bar, male friends with jeans and sport shoes were admitted, only me wasn’t allow in, I forgot what I wore that night, maybe 3/4 jeans and not sexy enough, girls in the escalators had skirts and bare arms. Too bad, I was working in a project linked to the restaurant and bar a few months back, and wanted to show friends the work I had done. I went in daytime with casual business clothes with colleagues for work and it was okay.
You are quite right about the scanning part of the waitress, she was starting to lead us to our table in Pierre when she did the “scanning”. Sometimes in Hong Kong or in France, we hopped in some expensive designers clothes store when we saw something interesting (we weren’t clients), no scan in France, but in Hong Kong, I always felt that “assessment” especially on women. On men, they were more relax, as if sports clothes were okay as long as they had their puffed wallet.
I don’t particular care about these assessments for better seats etc, but I know that some restaurants in Hong Kong, to have access to better food or better ingredients, you need to be a regular client. Famous Chinese restaurants like Yung Kee or Luk Yu only allow access to the better floors for privileged clients. We were wondering why when we ate the same dishes ordered by the fame food critic Chua Lam, it wasn’t the same thing at all especially in the big restaurants.
‘Current morays’ eager to stay in the loop.
http://www.divephotoguide.com/images/imguploader/954415533.jpg
2 Likes
Cute…electric! Give them a table by the window.
1 Like
[quote=“greygarious, post:26, topic:7020, full:true”]
I don’t mind dressing if it’s an event of some sort, but I rarely choose to eat out at “fine dining” restaurants.
My typical haunts are local mom and pops, usually but not exclusively ethnic of some kind. I am fortunate to be in Houston where I have virtually an infinite number of choices mere moments away.
I am almost always in jeans and a button up shirt tucked in. I’m not a barbarian.
2 Likes
I don’t mind, even if I rarely do. Although there is one time that we probably should dress up a little bit more.
We were at Mexico backpacking. Got a reservation at Enrique Olvera’s Pujol. It was indeed a fine restaurant and we enjoyed our meal. We went in t-shirts, jeans and sneakers, looking like, well, tourists when everyone else dressed smartly. I don’t speak or understand much Spanish, but I think the man over in the next table with his beau was looking at us up and down, and probably saying something like ‘How did these people get in…’
“Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed like you’ve come to mow its lawns.” David Sedaris on a couple of middle-aged American tourists riding the Paris Metro in shorts, sneakers, and tee shirts.
3 Likes
Thanks for the affirmation, erica. When we travel we always pack some clothes for a special occasion along with the casual. I believe one should be prepared to dress appropriately for both situations. Love casual, of course, but also still regard certain dining situations to be more special…
Special occasion still. I like to wear anything beautiful. For instance, one from such stylish dresses that emphasis my wish to be the best. And to enjoy the effect they create to the others.
1 Like
What’s “going out for dinner”? 
3 Likes
Exactly!
