B.Y.O.M.--Bring Your Own Meal?

An evolving trend–bringing your own food to Bay Area restaurants. From the San Francisco Chronicle via archive.ph:

https://archive.ph/IpgpE

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W.T.A.F.? is a complete, stunned sentiment.

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“purse tuna” :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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The restauranteur’s response were admirable…hospitality and willing to accommodate. But given this seems real and weird, perhaps they should charge “FORKAGE” for outside food.

Food courts get a pass because that’s what people do at food courts…but no way at a full service place. Seriously, bringing chicken to Greens, homemade sandwich….or purse tuna? Hahaha….no. Broke ass students get a pass too but after graduating…act like a freakin’ grown up.

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At some point i would think they’d run the chance of being accused of ‘defrauding an innkeeper’ or some similar law, or possibly theft of services. After all, they are using the establishments ‘services’ without paying.

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Thank goodness I’ve never seen this beyond the occasional drink (iced coffee/bubble tea) that someone has with them when they dine. Maybe every once in a while someone brought in a snack (e.g., pastry, some sweet) that they decided to chow down at the table because they couldn’t resist after the meal. I can understand that - especially if you’re in a more casual, neighborhood place rather than a nicer sit down restaurant. And I would hope that restaurants are more relaxed about that.

But damn - bringing in a whole pizza or rotisserie chicken is crazy. Unless someone had so many restrictions that it’s impossible to accommodate (especially kids), and it was some grand social celebration that someone can’t miss, that is just uncalled for. I’m not the restaurant owner, and I do find that rude. Why am I not surprised though that this ‘trend’ might also have ties to stupid TikTok challenges that basically encourage boorish behavior at best, and downright dangerous and illegal behavior often.

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Food that is acceptable to bring into a restaurant:

Baby/toddler food.

A special cake or dessert for an occasion, provided you have cleared it with the restaurant beforehand.

Wine/special booze, if it’s cleared beforehand and any corkage fee is paid.

There. Was that so hard?

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I saw a thread about this on BlueSky and a person responded to the post that this had happened to them - they planned a birthday dinner at a sushi restaurant where they were a regular and we’re mortified when about half the guests showed up with food they’d brought in from a fast food restaurant next door. I’m mortified on that person’s behalf, frankly. But, if it were me, I’d also have probably not scheduled my party at such a specialized venue. I don’t even know what I’d do if that happened to me, other than maybe crawl into a hole for a while. I prefer doing sushi either solo or just with my BF, but that’s just me.

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Wow. That’s bad behavior!

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Or a group of friends you know will enjoy it as much as you do.

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If you are invited to a sushi restaurant you know what kind of food you are getting - either decline the invite or eat sushi. I can fully understand why this person was mortified by the strange behavior of the other guests

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I worked with a grown man that, for whatever reason, never got past his childhood ‘picky eater’ thing. When we’d all get together and go out for lunch, Alan would check where we were going and either join us when the place accommodated his restrictive tastes, or decline to come with us when it didn’t. Which is the only adult way to deal with that sort of thing.

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“they planned a birthday dinner at a sushi restaurant where they were a regular and we’re mortified when about half the guests showed up with food they’d brought in from a fast food restaurant next door.”

I have to admit my first thought was maybe they did’t want to get stuck with an expensive sushi bill to celebrate someone else’s birthday. Not that that’s any excuse of course for poor behavior. They should’ve stayed home. Just a major pet peeve of mine. I come from a generation where if I throw a party, I pay. Don’t expect everyone to kick in at the end of the night.

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Or a German background? It’s customary in Germany for the celebrant to pay for everyone vs here in the US, where everyone chips in to cover the celebrant.

I prefer the latter.

To each their own.:slightly_smiling_face:

Financially it’s pretty easy to see/understand the preference.

I used to invite my two besties and my sister to my birthday dinner every year at a very fancy restaurant the time I started working, when I was around 19 years old.

They could order whatever they want from the menu, including digestifs etc.

One time, one of them wanted to take a peek at the check. I said if she looked she’d have to pay. She immediately dropped the leather folder the bill had arrived in.

The bill was routinely about a third of my monthly income at the time.

Such a weird idea for the person who is being celebrated to pick up the check :woman_shrugging:t2:

What’s next… giving every guest a birthday present, too? :smile:

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I like that approach. When I invite, I expect I’m the host and intend to pay (yes, I know there are threads devoted to exactly this, so I’m not intending to launch that tangent here). Doing this, though, might underscore for my guests that I really do want to treat them.

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I read through the article and it feels like there are a couple issues at play:

  1. Tik Tok
    I’m not on this platform, but the hold it seems to have on a percentage of its users in terms of engaging in IRL nonsense is mind boggling to me. I say this as a high school teacher who lived through the “let’s vandalize the school bathrooms for social media clout” years. You’ve got “influencers” ( :face_vomiting:) playing to viewers’ worst instincts and confirmation biases. Sure you can bring your own food to a restaurant because, rather than a legitimate allergy or real dietary concern (that you as a responsible adult should have actually called ahead to the restaurant to see if it could be addressed), you are worried you “won’t like the food options” (um, most of the menus are online. Read them and then decide if you want to go.). Your feelings are then supported by internet randos who tell you your poor and entirely entitled choice is perfectly acceptable. I’m okay with restaurants bouncing customers out over this.

  2. People forgetting how to act in public (and using any number of excuses for it - pandemic, etc.).
    Just because the restaurant has outdoor seating and you can order at a counter, it’s not an excuse to bring your own food. Who is teaching young adults how to comport themselves in public? Also, even with a dietary issue, again, call ahead to the restaurant. The “macro bros” referenced in the story are perfectly capable of eating their 6-8 ounces of protein at home and then joining their vegan friend at the plant based restaurant for their veg and/or carb. If budget is an issue, be responsible enough to either be upfront about it and suggest an alternate venue or activity or beg off. We were all in our early 20s once.

It’s not just restaurants this happens at. I hosted a dinner gathering about a year ago. I was very clear in my communications in asking if there were dietary restrictions, allergies, or any other issues I should be aware of. Nope. Nobody had anything I should be aware of. I plan a mac and cheese casserole and a salad. Sure, sure, that’ll be fine. As I am puttering about trying to finish getting dinner on the table I find random rotisserie chicken in my fridge. Turns out the wife of a guest had had lap band surgery and needed animal based protein in her meals. Just tell me! I would have planned something different! Since this event, when we’ve had the same people over, we just order pizza. She brings whatever she wants to eat (which now appears to include nips of booze for cocktail making). I’ve made peace with it.

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People are weird. Full stop.

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Srsly. :scream: