“Forkage”, as ML8000 stated, is the obvious and only right solution, besides the GTFO my establishment.
But, here in the UK proprietors are also getting weird e.g. ridiculously high and non-refundable deposits, and expectations that guests will eat more than one course…
My take on it: Kind of sort of maybe NO. Allergies so Extreme that one can’t really trust ANY Kitchen then NP. Otherwise food at an eatery is how they make a living. I did read it fast so may have missed a point my restaurant owning Dad would’ve made-- Homemade food poisoning for fun & profit.
This. The restaurant has no control over what you bring into their establishment. I worked at a place that would allow outside cakes only if they were commercially made and in the bakery’s box. No homemade birthday cakes or other treats allowed.
I’ve done that a couple of times at a restaurant I liked, and paid a “slicing fee” on a per-slice basis. The restaurant went one step further and decorated the plate with sliced strawberries and cream (not that one of MY cakes needs further adornment! 
).
BYOM…should I tip myself?
You need to add your own kitchen appreciation fee for yourself for that.
I guess you don’t have kids and had birthday parties for your children where the goody bags distributed at the end cost a small fortune to put together. Some parties I think we spent more on the parting gifts than was spent on the gifts our kids received.
You got that right. However, I was a child once, and this was decidedly not a thing when/where I grew up.
this is 2025 - the internet, computers in pockets, cursing on television and in other public media, gender reveal parties… things do change over time.
edit: the things mentioned above weren’t a thing when i was a kid, but are taken as SOP nowadays.
I’m fine with everything else you mention, but these need to die. “But what’s the harm?” It contributes to an epidemic of Main Character Syndrome, and I’m pretty sure that’s at least partly to blame for gestures vaguely at everything
I have many friends with kids who may hand out lil treat bags, but certainly nothing that would break the bank.
Maybe a more upper class thing 
It’s independent of the class but it simply adds up with larger birthday parties. especially when they are younger you tend to invite more kids from the school class to be inclusive and so if you have 20 kids and each bag is perhaps $5-10 (it’s surprising how little you actually get today with $5)
My family would “take over” Yen Chings on Kettleman, 40-60 people. They would allow us to bring a sheet cake, there was a $2-3 per plate charge.
Places like Party City or Parties ‘n More (now both bankrupt, I think) had tons of cheap little toys for goodie bags that were usually a dollar or less each. Other sources for cheap plastic crap were mail order places like Oriental Trading Company. That was my ex’s go to when doing bday parties for our daughter back in the 90’s.
Never been there. We have our own regular places when we feel like having Chinese food. I do recall Spawn2 going there with BF (before he became S-I-L) and his family - apparently it’s on their regular rotation. ISTR Spawn2 didn’t think it was much different from our places, although since the in-laws are not Chinese, their ordering was different from what they’re used to.
Well, I’m hosting 9 of my gal pals tonight, half of whom have children of varying ages.
Happy to ask them how much they fork over on average on their offspring’s party guests.
Unless I forget, that is.
I’m whole-heartedly in agreement that the gender reveal party is a pointless event. I think social media is really the one that has generated this “main character syndrome” and that is what irks me most. Gender reveal parties are made to be Instragram-able moments (I realize the outdated term there) or TikTok-able moments. While I can usually just roll my eyes and move on, the ungodly number of balloons left in the environment, frikken wild fires (!) because everyone wants to outdo the other on social media is just insane and evidence of brain rot to me.
Handing out little party favors after a party is a nice touch, but I would never expect one. My friend always does this, and that’s because she loves event planning and so she’s goes overboard when she plans her own. She doesn’t do expensive party favors, but something fun - from little treats to a little party favor (a little decorated votive candle). It’s a nice reminder of the good time when you leave. She doesn’t take pictures of this and blast this over social media.
Thinking about this more, it strikes me as a US thing. My birthday parties never had more than 10 kids (not sure if my mom set a limit TBH), but then the 70s were a less “inclusive” time, and nobody felt obligated to invite entire classrooms or, in the case of the outrageously large weddings in this country, entire departments of randos 
From what I gather from my German friends, neither huge birthday parties nor weddings are a thing, even in the present day.
Or maybe I just know the ‘wrong’ people 
I am wondering when this “gift bag” nonsense even became a thing. When I was a kid, the present you got for attending a party in someone else’s honor was that you were invited at all. Also, cake.
In the late '60s, we used to get party horns (the kind with the paper tube that unrolls when you blow it - there must be a name but it escapes me ATM) and conical hats. Then I remember getting a pair of Groucho glasses at one party. I think it just snowballed from there.
