This essay from The Atlantic brings together many of the thoughts, emotions, and realities I have experienced around being the person in our household who regularly puts dinner on our table: You’ll Never Get Off the Dinner Treadmill.
Resonated with me—not in a negative way, but in a shared experience way. As the kids say, I felt seen.
Thoughts?
I greatly enjoy thinking about what to make for dinner, shopping for the ingredients, cooking, and enjoying the fruits of my labor with my loved one(s). That said, I don’t have picky kids to feed on a schedule, am chronically underemployed, and cooking/food just happens to be one of my love languages — a way for me to show I care about my partner & my friends 
— whereas the author seems to be on the opposite end of this spectrum.
That said, I don’t think I’m much of an outlier, at least in this crowd. There’s a reason the WFD thread is the most popular and longest-running on this very site 
Are there days where I can absolutely not be arsed to make dinner? Sure. That’s when we get takeout or delivery, or drag ourselves to a restaurant we enjoy.
I don’t generally regard dinner as a treadmill. I like eating dinner. I like the quiet time it gives me to spend with herself. I like planning it, shopping for it, cooking it. Not so keen on dealing with all the dirty pots and pans but that’s what dishwashers are for.
Yes, of course, there are days when enthusiasm wanes. But that’s what restaurants are for (as we had planned for tonight). Or takeaway or home delivery (as we’ve had snow and don’t want to be schlepping outside). Or pizza from the freezer
Pay-walled, but I assume it all boils down to this:
Figuring out what to eat is a pleasure until it becomes a constant low-grade grind.
I cook because I want to, not because I have to, which is a fortunate place to be.
So sorry about that. I don’t have a gift link to share. The linked page I shared does appear at the top as if it’s paywalled, but I was able to access just by scrolling down the page.
Weirdly enough, when I clicked on the link it took me to Apple News, and opened the article.
Not a subscriber.
Oh, no worries. I probably should subscribe, but all my money’s tied up in streaming services. 
It’s funny, in my house we are of two camps for sure.
For me - I enjoy dinner, trying new things, figuring out what to with what’s in the fridge - and of course have the occasional “I have no ideas, we are ordering something tonight.”
My husband - the treadmill is real. He has 3 or 4 things he can do on his own, so once he’s done those it’s a complete blank slate with zero ideas or inspiration.
The ongoing joke when he is “supposed to cook dinner” is that “dinner was a surprise today” . . . not as in a “surprise, look what I made” but a realization at 6:30 or 7pm that “hey, surprise, I had no idea we were having dinner tonight. Was that always the plan for today? I have no ideas for what to make.”
Same for me.
Meh. If you have small kids, maybe this applies. But in our house dinner is never a chore. Number one, we are two people who both love cooking. Number two, we have very adventurous palates and a pantry/spice rack/condiment shelf to go with them, so even if all we have is a couple of zucchini to work with, we can make a very nice meal—and we view that kind of situation as a fun challenge. Number three, we don’t fixate so much on having picture-perfect, lifestyle-magazine-type dinners—a common dinner theme in our house is “scraps” (eating/repurposing the various containers of leftovers in the fridge), and as busy people with lots of things going on in our lives, we sometimes don’t eat the same thing for dinner or eat dinner at the same time. And we are not above having popcorn for dinner if the mood strikes!
Can’t read the entire article without signing up, but like @linguafood , I really enjoy thinking about what next to make for dinner.
Granted, I’m JUST doing this for myself, so I can quickly pivot if I’m not interested in making what I thought sounded good the night before, and I’m only affecting myself. For instance - last night was one where I got home from work and I was “I’m not really hungry oh look there are bananas on the counter and Raisin Bran Crunch cereal on top of the fridge and I just bought a quart of 1% milk I’ll have cereal for dinner!” nights. 
I always have food in my pantry/freezer(s), so I won’t starve, but I do sometimes get in a rut. However, two recent posts now have both pork pot stickers and tacos on my mind, and adding them to my repertoire will be done within the next couple of weeks. THAT is what I need to do - make things I don’t usually make, and both of those are easy-peasy - why don’t I make them more often? Probably because the small tortillas come SO MANY to a package and I can’t finish them before they go stale and “I don’t think to buy pot stickers.” Well, they’re both on my radar.
Similar to a lot of posters, I enjoy planning, shopping and making dinner for the both of us. I really enjoy baking – especially desserts for my girl.
I think the main issue for the author of the article (which I could only read part of) is staying organized. My dinner meal plan is a Word Document, where everything is written down for the next 1.5 to 2 weeks. Adjustments are easily made based on sale & clearance items. I also have leftovers in the freezer for nights when I want to watch football.
Cleaning up really doesn’t bother me – its just part of my day (and my screaming dishwasher does most of that for me, anyway).
At this point, I know what Sunshine likes and what she doesn’t – I can eat just about anything and be happy (with the exception of Brussels Sprouts)
As a side note, between this forum and youtube, I’ve gotten a lot of great ideas (and instructions) for making simple, easy & very tasty meals.
whoa - I’m impressed. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about creating a 1-2 week plan. The stress of that seems more than the stress of figuring it out each night
But to be fair, I do create meal plans like that for large family gatherings (just did for T-day and Christmas). So I guess I can see how it could reduce stress as well.
As with most things, there are many perspectives from which people come to this.
For me, I enjoy it some of the time, other times it’s a struggle, yet others there’s a wall.
For others in my close family and friends circle, some are very much of the author’s persuasion, and as you said in your OP, it’s usually those who take on (or are left with) the responsibility to feed others than themselves.
But some of the article was definitely for effect and hyperbole, not surprisingly. For example,
Dinner resists optimization. It can be creative, and it can be pleasurable. None of this negates the fact that it is a grind. It will always be a grind.
Of course it isn’t always a grind.
But sometimes, it certainly is.
How people address that can be someone else cooking, takeout, toast, an egg, ramen, or whatever else their appetite and circumstance allow.
My plan/word doc helps me to know what needs to be moved from the freezer to the fridge, so it can defrost. I also know what advanced prep work needs to occur prior to dinner time.
Case in point, I’m making a big potato, cheese and onion casserole tonight, so I’ll scrub the potatoes in advance. Then all I have to do is peel and shred them.
Yes… that is on the menu for Friday for me!! Sunshine is having a “girls get together” with some of her friends, so I don’t have to cook.
I do need to make a dessert for her to take, though. Maybe a pineapple cobbler and she can pick up some vanilla ice cream?? I know her friend won’t mind heating up the cobbler.
I also have a cooking emergency safety net – MOM!!
If I really can’t figure something out, I can always call my mother.
I hear what you’re saying about the tortillas. It just means you need to tacofy more often 
I also find they last forever in the fridge, and frying them in the pan so they puff up takes care of any staleness.
I want to make shrimp tacos next with those big-ass BTS 
No offense, but I’ve always wondered why anyone scrubs the potato first and then peel. If you peel first, won’t the peel take most of the dirt with it and then you just have to rinse the rest off? Unless you use the peel for some other thing?
I peel, then wash.
