Why Is Dining Alone so Difficult?

Culture, Media, General
21

When I was researching for my books, I’d be travelling alone. Perhaps the National Archives in London or regional resources. I’d be eating alone. Never had an issue booking for one or just as a walk-in. Places in cities are used to solo business travellers so someone turning up on their own is not uncommon. I’ve also never had an issue not drinking alcohol, nor not having a dessert.

Never been treated badly. In fact, I’ve often felt very well treated. I remember a Greek Cypriot place in Leeds (I was researching at the university archives). When I I turned up, I saw they had two rooms - the really nice front room and a dingy backroom. Fully expecting a table in the almost empty back room, I was led to a 4-top in the busy front room. The guy started to clear the other three settings. I said I’d be fine in the back room and didnt want to take up his last table in the front room. Smiling, he tells me that’s it’s fine - I’d had the courtesy to book and this was his way of saying thanks for choosing his place.

By the by, I’ve never done a really high end place on my own. It’s not that I’d feel uncomfortable. It’s just that I’d miss not having someone to ooooh and ahhhh with over the food.

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22

Totally agree I dine solo often, usually eat at the bar. If I’m driving I am not drinking, so often times in a place that I’m not a regular I am invisible once it’s established I am not drinking alcoholic beverages

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23

Bar means bar seats and that’s a nay for short people like me. I’ll do it if that’s the only option though. I can’t stand restaurants that insist on mainly high-top tables in their establishment.

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24

I’m 4’10" and it doesn’t bother me at all. There’s usually something to rest my feet on. I do like a stool with a back, though.

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25

We’d booked for a newish Italian place in the city centre. Turned up to find most tables were high top. And the bar stools werent high enough. I felt like a little kid almost peeking over the top of the table. Asked if we could have a “proper” table. Told we couldnt. So we left. I gather it had previously been a bar and they simply hadnt changed the furniture.

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26

I’ve mentioned in another thread that I enjoy that kind of seating as well :slight_smile:

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27

Only with a party of 4* at the most. Even when it’s a corner you’re occupying, I find after 4 or more people a table is easier to chat with everyone vs. lined up like chickens on the roost.

Edited after reading @small h’s reply and realizing I meant to write 4 in the first place.

Now it all makes sense.

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28

I don’t mind four at a corner, but yeah, any more than that is not like dining in a group at all.

29

I used to do a fair amount of traveling for work. I’m not a big fan of room service or eating take-out in my room, so I’ve dined solo many times. Most of my travel was to large cities and I don’t recall ever feeling unwelcome (though I did usually order a cocktail or local brew) sitting at a table. I too am short and dislike bar stools\high tops.

When I was younger there would be the occasional unwanted offer of a drink or “company while I ate.” Fortunately as I aged those interruptions were fewer. Maybe I had perfected my “leave me alone” face? More likely I just aged out of the target demo.

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30

Same here.

I too don’t like high tops or eating at a bar, except at one restaurant….Au Pied De Cochon in Montreal, where you get to talk to the chefs while sitting at the kitchen bar, and you sometimes get to taste additional stuff, including wine that they cook with. I also got to find out why my version of one of their dishes didn’t work.

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31

To quote a cancelled comedian, “The meal is not over when I am full. The meal is over when I hate myself.”

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32

Another upvote from another short girl. Tall chairs and bar stools are usually physically uncomfortable, as my legs are dangling like a toddler’s with no support.

Also a lifelong business traveler, but my experience has been that I get far more unwelcome attention at the bar than at a table, so I almost never sit at the bar while alone.

Now that most hotels have a breakfast area, I sit there to finish up emails, then order something to be delivered. I hate having my hotel smell like food, so I have dinner (usually alongside several others doing the same) in the breakfast area and enjoy the quiet after a busy day.

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33

I don’t drink and I east out solo. I have never received bad service in those situations. Maybe I’m lucky or maybe the Washington, DC area is just more hospitable.

And sharing dessert is so common, it’s hard for me to imagine anyone batting an eye at that. In fact, I don’t think I’ve have to ask for extra forks, the servers usually understand and bring them anyway.

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34

On trips to the States, it’s often that only one dessert has been ordered. Almost invariably, two spoons have been brought. Which, almost invariably, prompts the response from me “It’s all just for me”. Another example as to why I am a short, fat, old man, instead of being a short old man.

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35

In my experience dessert are bigger and heavier in the US, so sharing is very common.

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36

I dine alone all the time, whether I’m in my home city or travelling. I’m married and also eat meals with my husband, other family and friends a lot, but I REALLY enjoy the luxury of being on my own to do what I want and go where I want to to go. I have travelled internationally solo a lot and have no qualms about booking a table for one in a Michelin star restaurant, and most often I see other people dining solo as well at those places. There are a ton of foodies around the globe who travel to eat at certain restaurants and may prefer to do it by themselves. Occasionally I eat at the bar if I am feeling chatty, but normally prefer to sit at a table for better service. Maybe I’ll read or look at my phone a bit while I eat but I don’t feel like I have to. And I’ve had some amazing experiences (and met a lot of people all over the world) while sitting close to them in a snug restaurant, or at a counter watching the chefs cook.

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37

I think the automatic 2 spoons thing also comes from some North Americans liking to act like desserts are sinful, when they really want some, as well as from North American diet culture. Those 2 things are interlinked in North America.

There are also people here in Canada who always ask for a taste of someone else’s order.

Some even take their own cutlery and dive into your order without asking. That’s a deal breaker for me on a first date. Haha.

Drives me nuts. I want side plates and extra cutlery. I don’t want some random friend taking a lick off my ice cream cone, or a bite out of my cookie. I am happy to break off a piece, or scoop out a tablespoon, or cut the dessert in half . I don’t need extra cooties. I would order that they ordered their own dessert.

Sometimes the people asking for a taste are trying to stick to a diet. Other times, they’re cheap, and trying to mooch. The same person who always asked for a taste on a trip to Italy was a mooch more than anything else. She didn’t offer to share anything she bought, while she offered to take everything everyone else bought.

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38

I had a truly memorable experience once when dining alone. I was in Regina, Saskatchewan, on business where I stayed 2 nights, and went to a restaurant recommended by a co-worker. Made a reservation, and on arrival was enthusiastically welcomed back by the maitre d’; mistaken identity, but he insisted I had been there before.

On the menu was a note that they couldn’t guarantee the quality of meat cooked beyond medium; I had never seen that before on a menu, and took that as a good sign. I had a great meal, ending with a really nice chocolate pâté.

The next night I returned there (why mess with a good thing?), and got an even more enthusiastic welcome. When I finished my glass of wine, I was given another on the house, since they were pleased to see me. Dessert was off-menu flambéed strawberries with ice cream. Another wonderful meal. I always wanted to return.

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39

The wife of a co-worker/friend always wanted to taste what everyone else was eating; drove me nuts as she was loud and insistent.

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40

Maybe that was a formula they use to ensure repeat business? Which restaurant was this? I’m curious! I have eaten at most of the better restaurants in Regina, up until 2018, my last visit.

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