Lol bbqboy, forgot to mention the pineapple tidbits in there, quite a lot in fact. I’ve probably blocked it from memory some ways, although it remains fresh in the adult children’s minds and is always good for a private joke.
But you are right pilgrim, it’s only food and there will be more food tomorrow. When dining with friends at restaurants I will eat a terrible meal with no complaints (or some of the components I can manage) and no one would realize I wasn’t happy with my food, because I don’t like to kill the mood at table, especially if it’s a special or celebratory dinner. And I very rarely send anything back to the kitchen unless it’s dirty tableware, cutlery, glasses with lipstick, etc that didn’t come clean in the commercial dishwasher.
So on balance it was a nice thing for my friend to provide dinner although the food was awful.
And more embarrassing than the food is the joy and pride with which the food is presented. As I wrote, we often have very different food sensibilities. Like the gawd-awful birthday present, :“Thank you SO much. You’ve been so gracious!”
That’s a challenge! I’m not sure I would be able to leave a long term friendship hanging on this without finding a kind way of dealing with it. Stomach troubles aren’t what any friend would wish on each other.
What about trying to avoid the whole situation entirely? Perhaps not sustainable forever but at least an option to mix it up. Invite them to a museum, gallery opening, new brewery, wine bar, beach. Literally anything that isn’t at either on of your homes.
My mom stands by always bringing something that she makes so minimally she will have at least one thing to eat. If I were you, I would bring a few things and downplay it heavily “Oh I was experimenting with eggplant and made too much baba ganoush… and grape leaves… and I just happened to pick up this fabulous bread.”
For starters, pineapple and ham on pizza is against New York State law. (<-joke, mostly) Everyone makes mistakes. Some people are just bad cooks. We have relatives who are awful. We work around it. But d@m^.
This has absolutely happened to me. I had a friend serve guacamole with potato chips. Not tortilla chips. It was a mushy mess in my mouth but luckily I was able to keep my poker face on.
I do believe though that you can bring a bad cook around. Maybe they just weren’t taught how to cook and it’s lack of knowledge. The cure here is great, though. Take your friends to places and encourage them to try new things. It may be like pulling teeth at first but it works eventually. I took my friend to a local cheese shop and made her sample some things. She hated the buffalo cheddar but liked the cheese curds.
It is a sacrifice to go taste delicious food with your friends, but I think it’s one should make to improve one palate at a time.
In my case, they were equally soft. My issue was more with the smell of the sauce. It was not identifiable and it made me sick when I thought of it, for days!
Friends that are average cooks, I will eat happily, sometimes they surprised me with quite good meal or good product. Most of the time, I feel they aren’t such bad cook, but because of limited time or busy schedules etc.
Lousy cooks, we still eat happily. If they are really close friends, we will tell them the problem, like pasta doesn’t cook in salted water etc. My BIL #2 and wife are so bad and I think they know, when we were invited in their home, BIL #1 will ask a neighbour to cook up something and bring the food over. If they are fine with the idea, I can proposed to cook at their home.
We used to have a few far family members, we went to eat in their place once a year when we were still kids, they were quite stingy and liked to cut corners in food, probably leading to negligence of food hygiene. After the meal, sometimes we could get sick. Nothing could be done, as they were elderly and we had to show respect. But we avoided eating raw seafood and a lot in their place.
When coming to eat out with friends, in the beginning I usually take the initiative to propose and reserve the restaurants. A few of them understood after a while, and try to propose gourmet places.
I laughed so hard at your post. I used to be #3 “Thin-as-a-rail girl” thinking eating was only for sustaining because I have a mother that is #2 “The health nut”. I was put off by her philosophy on food, her grumbling that you shouldn’t eat this and that…
Luckily Mr. n saved me, and made me appreciate food. I see my mom not very often nowadays, she is going more mild with her theories when she cooks for us, although she still tries to persuade verbally.
This thread is a fun read. I can’t contribute anything amusing–or jaw-dropping to it tho. 50 years living with family, friends & acquaintances, and cannot recall any “fails” at meals served at others tables.
(I’ve had more than a few Chilis that ran through me like sh*t thru a goose, but cannot fault the cooks for that).
A few of them understood after a while, and try to propose gourmet places.