What will you NEVER order in a restaurant because you do it better?

Okay, maybe NEVER but you don’t really like to order it because you know there is a high likelihood you will be disappointed. Please share recipes when you can!

One of mine is steak. I am by no means even close to an expert so I’m always surprised when I had wished I’d just made one at home. Haven’t ordered a steak in a restaurant in a very long time.

I live in a city apartment with no outdoor area to grill so I sear mine in a wicked hot cast iron pan. Not at all a fan of the smoke detector going off but hey, you do what you have to for a good steak. I usually rub it with olive oil and then generously salt and pepper it, let it sit for about half an hour to come to room temp and then slap it in the smoking pan for about 3 minutes a side if it’s about 1" thick. Let it rest for about 15 min. Nothing fancy so why do I always like mine better?

Another that I will grudgingly try at a restaurant is a hamburger. I like my homemade buns better. I like that mine comes out barely medium rare rather than the medium I always end up getting at the restaurant. And I like that I can make it a size that I will actually be able to take a bite out of. So tired of skyscraper burgers!

What about you?

First, there are things which I think I can do better than restaurants, but I still order them because they can be very time consuming to do or because I like to eat them whenever I can. For example, I have developed a likening to salmon and tuna, so I often order them from the menu. Not necessary because I think theirs are better or mine are better, but rather I just like them in general.

Like you, I don’t order steak very often – at least not from typical restaurants like Applebees or whatnot. I also unlikely to order any free or $1 wonton soup (the one without the wonton dumplings) because I almost always get disappointed.

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I would never do one of those sit down and eat blue crabs restaurants. The kitchi kind where they put them on paper on a table and give people a mallet to desecrate the crab.

Watching folks totally destroy a crab and leave much of the meat behind makes me mad.

Chicken , Never .

Yes! Half of the fun is in the picking. Not to mention the are a zillion times more expensive in a restaurant and they never seem to have the right amount of old bay. Crabs should be an all day backyard event, with plenty of beer, where everyone can get good and messy.

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Ideally, with the pot on a burner positioned close enough to the keg that one need take no more than two steps to get from one to the other. Moreover, shirts should be optional and a body of water available for periodic cleansing. That said, the one upside to eating crabs at a restaurant is the fact that you won’t still be finding scraps of shell in odd places for a couple weeks after the feast.

As to the OP, I’ve gotta say, never say never. I mean, sometimes, you just have to see if the place’s “legendary” pit beef is worthy of the title.


Lobster. Unless it’s a lobster pound in Maine boiling them in sea water and letting you pay just per lb, extra for butter. All I want with my lobster is butter and lobster, no steenkin’ salad, corn, etc… just 2 lbs of a 4 pounder hard shell shared, or my own 2.5 pounder, no sharesies.

The restaurant cost is ridiculous for something that just needs to have a quick steam or boil, no prep.

Pasta! Usually overpriced in restaurants, and I use better ingredients at home.


Apple pie, and most apple desserts. Chances are they use canned filling or bland apples like Golden Delicious. I prefer sweet-tart apples, like to use a combination like Granny Smith with Cortland, if I can’t get my hands on heirlooms like Northern Spy or Newtown Pippin. And I won’t even get into the potential problems with the crust!

Hafta agree on the steak…There’s one placed near me that does it better, but the kings ransom they charge evens it out. Lots of pasta dishes as well. I have a hard time paying > $10 for a dish I can’t kill it at home

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lobstah. agreed. it’s dirt cheap in my neck of the woods yet costs a king’s ransom in restaurants. it can also be really messy so not something i want to tackle in public!

People who love me have said they’d rather not witness the process of my reduction of a whole lobster to a pile of pink dust in public. I get my money’s worth, is all I’ll say. :slight_smile: And I like eating it outside where I can hose off the whole area, and myself, if necessary.


My kinda folk :slight_smile:

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There’s not much that a restaurant could never make better than I do, but I do shake my head at peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the menu. Even if theirs is better it’s not gonna be $4 better.

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Mousse au chocolat

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Lobster and steak. Both so easy to prepare yet so expensive and so often screwed up in restaurants.

Also linguini with clam sauce, the restaurant versions are never as briny and garlicky as I like it.

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Caesar salad–I like my dressing far better than most. Eggs Benedict–likely due to health codes and using a mix, restaurants just can’t get the Hollandaise right.

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There’s nothing I would not order. I like to eat. I’m fundamentally lazy. So much easier to eat out. Steak, lobster, pasta, burgers. Order them all the time. Even if I can cook it, sometimes its better when someone else does it. Also means I don’t have to clean up.

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The list is getting longer as the years go by. But here is an item that has not been mentioned by previous postings: Everything bagel toasted with butter.

The bagel must be salted with all kinds of goodies on it. I finally settled on Costco’s “onion” (a misnomer) bagels. Each is cut into 4 C-shaped pieces, toasted in a skillet, cut-side down, with butter, until the pan is smoking. This is a precision operation that renders the pieces browned and crispy on the cut surface yet soft and chewy elsewhere. Satisfaction is when I sit down for my bagel breakfast with a good cup of coffee in the morning.

It’s one of the reasons I so look forward to my tomorrows.


Ultimately, there’s nothing I wouldn’t order at a restaurant for social and also laziness reasons. In addition to chicken which has been thrown out there, I find myself rarely ordering ice cream. I love ice-cream, but I don’t find ice-creams at restaurants to be so head and shoulders above a scoop I can find at a good ice-cream shop. Only if the flavor were so rare and unique that it might tempt me.

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Honghe Hani Rice Terraces, Yuanyang County, Yunnan
Credit: inkelv1122, Flickr