I’m sure you’re a lovely guest @ChristinaM!
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Zen is an extraordinarily useful concept.
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Difficult, strangely I was more zen before I met my husband. 
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Oh, I really feel for you. Happens in some cases.
At our house, we say: In order to take something out, you have to put something in. We put compassion “in the bank” by planning non-stressful moments with friends, getting rest, and so forth. If a holiday meal or encounter is going to be particularly difficult, we make sure that we have something nice planned for a different time.
Slightly off-topic, if anyone finds themselves in this situation and has a welcome, friendly pet that could accompany you on the visit—consider taking him or her. The pet gives everybody in the room another focus and can change the energy in a such good way. Pet must be welcome, of course.
Take good care.
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Elderly parents often dislike the fact that they can no longer “do” what they used to be able to do, and take it out on others in general. I give a pass on that. Treasure the time you have with them, regardless of their recent difficult nature. They’re gone too soon from our lives.
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bummer, but it LOOKS good! and those shooms look dreamy.
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wait, my chili crisp doesn’t have peanuts or crispy tofu! it’s just chili flakes! what wondrous thing did you find?
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that bottle is not Chili Crisp
It is hot chili sauce
Ko Gan Ma has a about 20 kinds of of sauces, each a little different ingredients and taste
I like best the Spicy Chili Crisp. Our local store does not carry the one that has mushroom nor the bean curd. I also have been looking for her Spicy bean paste and bean curd
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Thank you and very well said. Unfortunately pets or even grandchildren don’t work. The stubbornness and strong alpha character of each, plus the declining health situation, doesn’t make things better. But will keep trying and be positive.
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oh, Chili SAUCE, not chili crisp. ok. Sounds good, though!
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it is so not easy, no matter what. i totally empathize.
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Thanks for the edification @ccj - it was so crunchy/crispy in mouthfeel, I just assumed that’s what it was. I have never had that style before.
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See my comment above to ccj, if you wish @mariacarmen. Yes, it was very tasty, and I’m not the least bit sensitive to MSG, at least in the relatively small amounts I eat. Now I will have to go on a quest for Chile crunch. Better yet, will just order on Amazon. Who knows, I might have some in my extensive (scary) garage pantries. 
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Too funny. We have had the exact opposite experience. My in-laws used to be so difficult, which resulted in regular periods of them having little to no contact with us. But, recently, with age, cancer, and us making regular visits and food deliveries, we have become “wonderful…” Go figure. DH and I just laugh and take what comes day to day.
Not cooking much for us, but last weekend I did manage a batch of pizza dough. last night we tossed together a quick flat bread with sauteed leeks, zucchini, buffalo mozz, parm, and some calabrian chili oil. The leeks and zucchini were from this weeks farm box. (Sorry for the blurry pic.)
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@naf I can remember leaving the house and sitting, sobbing, on the curb for an hour or so. Do know that you will survive this situation and, moreover, become the longterm survivor There is nothing anyone can do to make a professionally unhappy happy. I can only hope that I have not and do not become a source of this kind of angst in my family.
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I have a few different ones. I like this one too, especially the peanuts. I do gravitate to the other one, but I miss the peanuts in that! The one with mushrooms is amazing. The bean versions I use very infrequently, and typically only in cooking
Yum to homemade pizza!
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@naf, I too have been through this, it can be stressful, and the elders can be cranky because they ARE losing control over their lives’ and abilities.
I have heard chemists/pharmacists in France have much more discretion in prescribing effective meds for insomnia and anxiety than here in the US. (Which is zero for controlled substances) There is nothing as restorative as a good night’s sleep IMO, so I wouldn’t hesitate if needed. Same with a mild anti-anxiety if necessary. Walks are good too, as are phone calls to friends. In any case best of luck to you and yours.
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