Going out to a restaurant is a real rarity here, mostly because the local offerings aren’t great and the food at home is of better quality and much, much less expensive. One thing I will never order at a restaurant is a burger. We’ve hit peak burgerness in our own kitchen. Nothing out comes even close.
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I think we all tend to presume we can make X up to an equally high standard. It’s not always true.
To use your example, I have a little spot near me that sources and curates excellent and hard-to-find charcuterie and the wines and cheeses picked specifically for pairing.
I couldn’t do that, because I would have to flail around looking for things that aren’t known to me. In my case, it would be foolish, uncertain and $$$ for me to try to do what this place does with a very high batting average and at reasonable cost. And I’m spared having to prep, plate, bus and wash.
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Now, this is where restaurant charcuterie can be better. If the items are hard to find, they haven’t been tried before and you don’t want a big piece of something that may not be enjoyed or finished (sometimes the item comes in a form that must be purchased whole), restaurant charcuterie boards are the way to go.
Deep-fried foods because I’ve gone off them. I never deep-fry at home.
Steaks, because I do better myself.
Burgers, because I don’t eat burgers, except at backyard BBQs.
I went to a restaurant attached to a golf course, which had a menu that had mostly spicy-hot food, which I do not eat. I went through each menu item with the waiter, and eliminated everything that was spicy-hot. This left me with a steak or burger! Not much of a choice.
While that may be the case for you, I very often do exactly this, at least when summering in Berlin -
as there are any number of fabulous fromageries and butchers (and international markets) where exotic cheeses or salumi / carne are readily available.
In fact, the shopping around for it all is part of the enjoyment for me, and the ‘prep, plate, “bus” (do you mean taking the plate from your kitchen to the dining room table?), wash’ is about as minimal an effort for a nice dinner at home as possible.
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“Never” is pretty absolute, but I can’t remember ever ordering fried rice, because I think of it as leftovers. That’s not to mean I have never had fried rice in a restaurant. In fact, I can think of a very fancy version at a banquet a few years ago.
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In addition to Pasta, add Pizza to my list. With some help and suggestions from this forum (and youtube), I have perfected a home pizza that my girlfriend and I very much enjoy.
Moreover, I can make my pizza for under $2, as opposed to $15+ for the same pizza at our local take-out pizza place.
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Nothing like acquiring a skill in a way that both satisfies and saves money!
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Liver. Unless I know it will be thick cut and very rosy-rare!
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Sure. Many don’t have the resources and time to turn this into a regular wandering avocation. If you do, and if you taste a lot (and you don’t mind sometimes disapointing yourself), then I’m sure it’s wonderful.
I find there can, between charcuterie, cheeses and wines, be too many “moving pieces” without a little guidance or suggestion. If I find a good combination, I’ll buy it again and serve it up myself.
#1 - lobster. rarely rarely rarely done right.
#2 - liver. never never never done right.
as expressed above, I tend to order things that are fare more complicated to prepare “at home.”
but however comma and etc . . . . calamari is a fav, and I’ll try it anywhere, and jeesh-by-god, I keep notes and to where I will never order it again . . . - because the first round failed miserably…
otherwise, I’m open to any beef/chicken/pork/(more seldon…) lamb/pasta dish on the menu.
I did recently have a gag experience - described as “ossa bucco” - it was a pork shank in tomato sauce. resembled virtually zip comma zero of anything “ossa bucco”
at a medium end “Italian resto” - having had bunches of good meals there, we’ll go again, but any thing described as "“osso bucco” will not be in consideration . . .
No - I wouldn’t order those wild meats or liver if someone is else was paying. I eat those meats and liver when they’re served to me at someone’s home where I’m guest, to be polite.
When someone else is paying I usually order what they’re ordering or something slightly less expensive than what they’re ordering.
We never make burgers at home, so the only time I get one is when I’m dining out. I have to be in the mood, though, and there has to be the option of letting me leave off the cheese.
Restaurant steaks are too big for me, and I find large slabs of meat kinda boring. So that’s a no go unless I’m at a steakhouse, which happens maybe once every decade.
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Pasta types like spaghetti, fettuccine, linguine because I can indeed make them better at home. OTOH, as a single person, I either can’t make pasta dishes such as lasagna, cannelloni. manicotti and stuffed shells in a single serving or don’t feel like doing so and hence WILL order them in a restaurant.
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Thank you for the clarification. So, these are all things that you would only eat if they were served to you in a private home as a guest.
The question I posed in my OP, however, is not about dining as the guest of someone either at a restaurant of their choosing or their home.
It was rather about the premise of you yourself choosing the venue of your meal, and as such having no obligations to anyone else.
Does that change your answer(s) at all?
Everything… other than seafood. Pretty much all of it except urchin, octopus, and lobster.
But if it is a BBQ place, I’ll do baby backs.
You never order everything at the restaurant except for seafood? Or is there nothing you would never order, save for the few items you mentioned?
Sorry if I’m being dense, I just woke up from an afternoon nap 
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Yup… unless of course if they don’t have it.
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But yours is most likely bought in a grocery store and not made in house and the quality difference is huge.
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Deviled eggs. I’m seeing that on numerous menus now. I just can’t see paying $2 for half an egg. That seems to be the going price. I saw them on a menu made with pickled eggs which is a least a fun twist. I stole the idea, making with pickled onion brine (to make them pink) and top with salmon eggs. I would never order them.
I also would not order hummus which is usually on the same menus that have the deviled eggs. It’s so easy to whip that up at home. I make an exception if I am at a restaurant that serves a cuisine that typically includes hummus because it goes with the other items one might order. Same with charcuterie boards.
Deviled eggs, Hummus and lazy charcuterie are on too many menus in my area. They feel cheap and lazy. I’m talking standard grocery store cheese and salami (Columbus or Boar’shead), a few nuts and a few slices of apple. The, “we try to source local ingredients,” places might have Olympic Provisions products (almost all stores near me sell that too) and maybe a few house-made pickled vegetables. So boring! Thats what I make after a long day in yard.
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