After a shit night of sleep this really lifted my mood. That place never fails to crack me up.
So many thoughts, so little time.
Most importantly, I’d be a little worried about the secretive seasonings plotting my demise behind my back (the owner of this establishment is a native speaker, btw 
). Really, that one almost made me spit out my cawfee.
Also, the apparent compulsion to include the entire “cooking process,” while also doing it in such a manner that makes it sound like the person writing it was drunk will forever remain a mystery & great source of amusement. We “low and slow” what? How do you deglaze with a garlic cream sauce?
W. T. A. F. F. ???
The Caesar salad is randomly topped with… al dente pasta?And who doesn’t love a “thin” creamy dressing?
That potato salad is definitely unique (not most, not ever), I’ll give them that.
The seafood is butter poached, then simmered? Well HELLOOOOO overcooked scallops, lobster and cod. I’m also really glad they clarified that the spaghetti are, indeed, noodles. Phew!
Still visualizing a margarita served in just a rim, i.e. the perfect vessel* sorry, that would vessle 
You’re welcome 
