We Ranked 26 Classic American Sandwiches From Worst To Best - Tasting Table

Yes, I could see that being confusing if the menu left off the word “sandwich.”

I didn’t really read it.

As you may know, I usually find terms like “classic American” worthy of an eyeroll at best. Your milage, and the milage of others may vary.

I’ve decided I come here to learn about others, and not to make others learn about me.

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And while some might dispute it’s “sandwichness”, a taco is the ultimate “American” sandwich, predating all the others. (If a hot dog in a one-piece bun is a sandwich, so is a taco. And so is anything in a pita pocket.)

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As a general thing we don’t do grilled cheese in the UK. Mrs H makes herself one now and again but I can’t recall ever seeing it on a cafe menu. We do “cheese on toast” instead but that’s definitely exactly what it says - a bit like a Welsh Rarebit but simpler., so deffo not a sandwich.

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And yet here we go again.:slightly_smiling_face:

i had to look up a few of these.

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Hot dogs are DEFINITELY tacos.

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Yes, for sure.

And a Pop Tart is most definitely a ravioli.

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I always thought of Pop Tarts as breakfast calzones…

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Well, calzones are just baked raviolis.

#Logomachy

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The pedant in me (who, quite honestly, takes up most of the space) says, “raviolo”.

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The uncouth American in me says “large ravioli”

I cringe every time I read the word paninis, but I think I just have to chalk it up to Americanization of foreign terms and false plurals (alumni, which I see misused almost as often comes to mind). I’m almost over the mispronunciation of bruschetta stateside. Almost :smiley:

Pedants unite!

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You can always fudge it by using “alum”. :joy:. Risking, of course, confusion with this

I gave up on bruschetta a long time ago. And Tahina/tahini.

I’m going to have a nice wee scoop of Cherry Garcia now, to soothe my frazzled nerves.

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Daytime ice creaming! #lifegoals :wink:

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Nearly every time I scoop some Cherry Garcia, I catch myself humming “Touch of Grey”.
Kinda suits you anyway…

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Vita brevis!!

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#YOLO :dancer:t2: :partying_face:

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Ok, here’s everything on the list and my thoughts:

  1. Hot dog

Author thinks hot dogs lack flavor. It would seem she needs to try better hot dogs. Our current favorites are from Snake River Farms, but Pearl and Saugy’s are also frequent fliers when the urge hits.

  1. Reuben

Author thinks the sandwich is “overwhelming” and takes the opportunity to snark on Russian dressing (“Thousand Island with a really bad hangover” whatever that means.). I suspect the author is the sort of person who doesn’t like to have her foods touching on the plate.

  1. French dip

The author doesn’t like that you have to dip the sandwich in the jus to get “the perfect bite” and finds the bread too crusty and the sandwich’s size too unwieldy to enjoy otherwise.

And yet, she seems to like…

  1. The Chicago Beef

…which is kind of the same thing, but with giardiniera. Her only quibble is you can’t find the sandwich outside of Chicago. I think she needs to pick a lane or consider adding giardiniera to her French dip.

  1. Sloppy Joes

She decries the lack of “textural variety”. I would suggest she toast her bun. And, for the love of all things good, stay away from the Keema Pav. It would be wasted on her.

  1. Club sandwich

Again, she doesn’t like the size of the sandwich, in this case because of the third slice of bread. Feels nitpicky. If thine third slice of white toast offends thee, pluck it out.

  1. Hot lobster roll

Lobster and a toasted hot dog roll don’t go together for her. Fine. All the more for the rest of us. Weirdo.

  1. Egg salad

She takes issue with the texture of egg salad and feels that delis don’t put enough crisp lettuce in the sandwich to offset that or enough mustard to punch up the sandwich. I thought one of the purposes of her list was to discuss sandwiches that could be made at home…where you can do that stuff.

  1. Cheeseburger

“Cheeseburgers aren’t that good.” She complains of grease and heaviness. You do you author lady. Again, more for the rest of us.

17 .Po’boy

Her complaint is not with the sandwich, but the “limited geographic scope”. Not being able to get to Louisiana to get a sandwich that is otherwise perfectly good in her eyes seems like a weak argument. Acme Oyster House will also ship you a kit to make one if you are really feeling the need.

  1. Pastrami on rye

Again, her issue is the overall size of the sandwich. Does she understand that you can buy more rye and bring leftovers home? This feels like the issue is not the sandwich, but the author.

  1. Cheesesteak

“It’s difficult to recreate these sandwiches at home because the bee needs to be thinly sliced, which is really only possible with a special slicer and a skillful butcher.” No. Freeze your beef partially and get a sharp knife. You’re welcome.

  1. Chopped cheese

Her issue is, again, the geographic range in which the sandwich is available and not the sandwich itself. Since this one is pretty easy to make at home, her argument is silly.

  1. Cold lobster roll

Likes the sandwich, hates the geography. Ignores that, like the hot lobster roll, this is a toasted hot dog bun with lobster. I feel badly for anyone who tries to date this woman. She seems to just look for things to complain about.

  1. Cuban sandwich

Likes the sandwich, thinks it is hard to make at home. I think she needs to try harder.

  1. Italian sandwich

She likes the variety this sandwich provides, although it can be a soggy mess if it sits around too long. I don’t disagree with either of these points. Still, these tend to be giant sandwiches. What happened to her arguments about sandwiches that were overwhelming?

  1. Tuna sandwich

She likes it! She likes it! Hey, Mikey! Not sure why she doesn’t have the same textural issue with this one that she does with the egg salad, though.

  1. Breakfast sandwich

She doesn’t like that you can only get this sandwich…for breakfast. Does she own a toaster or a frying pan?

  1. Meatball parm

She says you have to trust the place you’re ordering it from. Well, I mean, sure, but that’s true of anything you order, anywhere. Again, another giant sandwich that she applauds because it’s a whole meal. She just likes some giant sandwiches more than others, apparently.

  1. Pulled pork

Her quibble is that this is a sandwich that you can’t “whip up and walk out five minutes later”. I say she needs to learn about planned leftovers.

  1. Chicken salad

She likes canned chicken for this, which is fine if you want your sandwich to taste like cat food.

  1. Nashville hot chicken sandwich

Say it with me: “geography”.

  1. Peanut butter and jelly

She calls this, made specifically with creamy peanut butter and grape jelly on squishy white bread, soul food. Sure. If you are a 5 year old.

  1. Bagel and cream cheese

A bagel is a bread, I guess. Cream cheese is a filling. Did she include avocado toast in an earlier draft of this piece?

  1. Grilled cheese
    She says the reason this one didn’t make the top spot is that it isn’t filling enough to make a whole meal. I say she’s not trying hard enough.

1.Fluffernutter

She spends much of her article decrying the specific geography of particular sandwiches and gives the top spot to one that is specific to New England. Marshmallow Fluff is a product of Lynn, Massachusetts and has been made and marketed since 1918. It also shows up in a classic New England dessert called a Whoopie Pie as the filling. I also don’t know of anyone who eats a Fluffernutter that isn’t a child or a stoned adult. But, I think we now have a better understanding of why the author thinks peanut butter and jelly is soul food. Someone should introduce her to white bread, margarine, and Pixie Stix.

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The Reuben was built to whelm!

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