That is a hoot. My favorite:
“The Bodean’s banana split is a passive-aggressive act. It’s what you give a bad child on their birthday if they have recently drop-kicked a guinea pig. It’s just a banana covered with squirty cream.”
I’ve never heard of Grace Dent before, but she’s as good a read as Jay Rayner.
One of the most brutal reviews I’ve ever read…but one of the most outrageously funny.
Gave me some good laughs, especially over the bizarre quantity of okra and that sad dessert. (And i love the phrase “squirty cream”)
There is probably no better phrase in British English to denigrate a dessert.
I like Grace’s articles and think they are pretty funny - a great Saturday read and glad the Guardian has recruited her.
But I am starting to worry they are not really good restaurant reviews as she seems to describe the taste of few of the dishes…lots of visual description but little on the substance.
She prefers to eat vegetarian/vegan but occasionally eats meat. And now I am aware of that I notice she rarely comments on the taste of any meat dishes receiving the more detailed commentary for the vegetarian/vegan dishes. And as such the reviews seem incomplete.
Yes, I know what you mean, Phil.
You probably come away from a review knowing more about the ambience of a place than it food. On one level that’s OK , I’m interested in the full experience of an evening
…and with Rayner always banging on about his jazz bans gigs or his theatre or radio show its a wonder there is any room to talk about food.
I suspect I am getting more curmudgeonly in my old age.
This is who we are, mate. This is what we do.
Herself on being mainly vegan:
well that did not remotely endear her to me
Ya gotta love the reference to all the Bright Young Vegan Things - “beautiful, vibrant, popular on Instagram and always out at dinner.”
And - " Avoid dead things and choose the dish with morels, cep or charred broccoli. " So the vegetables aren’t dead? And, sssh, mushrooms are probably more closely related to humans than plants…