Nice. Well, I wouldnât have ever bought 750 qtips at a time, but someone thought that an infant would require it.
I reach for an old two-tined fork many times a day. For mixing any heavy texture mass, like ground beef/meatloaf. fluffing up rice or pilaf, folding heavy salads like bean or pasta. It somehow lifts and folds rather than breaks up stuff.
Those have many uses.
Another reach for is a Kyocera mandolin. I have owned probably a half dozen professional Swiss, German and French mandolins that have looked and sounded good at the time but that were a pain to use and clean. And dangerous, at least for me. I sold all of them to friend who has a "used kitchen appurtenance shop. Then I bought a Kyocera at a garage sale. I grab it multiple times a day for many kinds of prep. I find it safe PROVIDING i use my palm to guide food, not fingertips. Itâs hard to use your palm with a vertical mandolin.
Something about your italics is making me giggle. Like youâre winking at me in some mischievous wayâŚ
When I first saw this thread, I thought we should have a complimentary one called stupid large useless things. And I wouldâve volunteered up my mandolin. We bought it back in the day when I was watching food network seems like full time. Everyone was using one, and they were expensive. It was the stand up one with the plastic and metal and several blades, and we paid $160 for it (sticker still there) at a time when we probably couldnât really have afforded it.
Iâve used it perhaps once annually since then. It takes up space and collects dust. I find that it is only useful for medium hard items like summer squash or firm fruit. If itâs something really hard like a carrot or potato, I worry about cutting myself pressing hard enough to make it do something. If itâs really soft, like a riper fruit, everything just turns to mush. Small items like radish, you barely swipe it 2-3 times before there is not enough to hold onto. So itâs generally been easier to just do the knifework by hand most of the timeâŚ
Now Iâll have to think of something!
Naughty things to do with binder clips 
I was visualizing a real mandolin!
Stop now youâre making me blush. 
I use one of those to hold the sealed plastic bag underwater when cooking sous-vide.
Exactly. Only difference is that as a flea market and garage sale junky, I usually paid around $20 for my numerous $150 mandolins. I kept thinking that THIS one I will use, but, like you, almost never. And then when I found that my friend would give me $40 - $50 for them, I started picking them up anytime someone was dumping one.
HOWEVER, I picked this one up for a dollar, and I love it. I only use it for hard vegetables like potatoes but it works as well as these talking heads suggest. BUT I always, again, use my palm, not fingers like dude here is doing
A buck wow. Thatâs a steal. Good for you!
I see you beat me to it.
I think you two are talking about the alligator clips, but who knows with you young whippersnappers.
Iâm talking about binder clips, which I use a lot in the garden as well as the kitchen.
I vote for binder clips. Thatâs what I use to seal chip bags.
ETA I should probably read all the way down before replying.
I love mine! Itâs an Oxo, probably cost about $30 (it was a gift). I use it fairly often, to julienne potatoes for fries, slice baby artichokes for salad, make super thin red onion slices for bagels, etc. The legs fold in, so it doesnât take up much room, and I just spray it clean in the sink.
Mine is oxo too - I spent many years resisting the expensive ones.
I have the one they call âcabbage slicerâ which just means itâs wider - and, a big plus for me, adjustable.
Worth its weight in gold just in shaved fennel salads 
