It’s not been my experience, though I would easily believe it.
Of course there will be differences by location / region of the country, type of establishment, and so on.
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I haven’t dined out indoors since Covid, but -
I started out nervous, but learned to love dining alone. I’d bring a book, or if I was dining at the spur of the moment, I’d ask for a fork to place upside down on the table as a phone rest so I could read while dining.
I don’t know why I often got placed at “good” tables, even more than when I was with others- by a window, or by a sidewalk. Maybe because I preferred reservations at 5pm and the restaurant wanted to look full? (I generally prefer to eat by the kitchen, where I can see food come out, or at “bad” tables where I can feel tucked away, though, so I have no experience with asking for a change.)
I didn’t “tip for two,” although I’m generally a high-to-absurd tipper, and I would frequently “upcharge myself” and tip at my highest percentage for the same reason. Eating alone means not having to share the caviar.
I found I could “set a tone” for service if I gave mild signals to staff in early interactions. If I knew I didn’t want attention, I’d write “just me and a quiet book tonight” in the reservation requests. Or I’d place my entire order, all at once, in the first conversation, and servers would pick up on the “you can leave me alone and I’ll be happy” vibe. Sometimes servers would feel a little nervous about leaving me alone, so when they did drop by, I’d be a little clearer about sending “yes, I really am happy” messages.
When I wanted more interaction, I’d send “this is a special occasion, please do lead this dance” signals to staff by commenting on how fancy everything seemed and that I was excited to have the experience, or allowing my excitement about the menu to show.
(This was all honestly felt, but I was aware that I was fitting myself into a script that servers would recognize and enact.)
When I ate at the bar, if I didn’t want to chat with other patrons, I’d have to bring a real book and really bury my nose in it. By the way, Harvest in Harvard Square used to literally have book stands available at the bar, which will hold your book open for you while you eat. How’s that for great service?
Hope that helps!
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This, 100000%. One of the things I’ve learned as I’ve aged (matured?) is that other people think about me a lot less than I think they think about me. Nobody’s really staring at me for dining alone, or reading while I’m there, or whatever I’m doing. As long as I am polite to the waitstaff and tip appropriately, I’ll do my own thing and not worry about what others think.
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Yeah, no. Absolutely not. I will tip according to the quality of service & what I consumed, not including extra for an imaginary friend. But then I tend to sit at the bar if I’m flying solo.
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Is there a reason for that, and do you plan on returning to indoor dining rooms some time in the future? It’s clear the 'rona is endemic now, so I don’t think it’ll be going anywhere any time soon.
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We have never had a bad night that we couldn’t have avoided by spotting irredeemable problems before sitting and ordering.
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A final thought: plan ahead. I don’t care much for dining solo myself & prefer the company of at least one friend — more foods to sample and share (if your friends roll that way, not everyone does, of course) & a conversation make any meal out far more enjoyable for me.
If you ask early enough, you might even be able to have a friend on deck if the initial choice doesn’t pan out 
Wherever I sit, and whatever I order, whether I am alone or with others, I always tip 25% of the total bill.
So I’m not sure what it means to tip as if it was a party of 2. You mean I should multiple by two of my total check and tip on that? Even if I am sitting at the bar? Or in a booth a the neighborhood pub when there are 10 booths empty?
And when I order a roast beef sandwich for $8 and one drink I should tip for twice as much as I ordered? Again, this is a low price pub 3 houses from where I live. Nothing upscale at all.
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@SuzieCK I hope we have encouraged you to venture forth!
Look forward to reading about your meals soon!
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was just about to say this, as someone who dines out with my two kids at fairly high end places all the time. Same issue with being a non-wine drinker. Servers just have to expect a range of checks. Sometimes you get a party of 3 at a 4 top; sometimes you get non-drinkers. Sometimes you get someone who orders a pricey bottle. It all evens out.
Meanwhile, to the original question, the servers at Spoke in Davis Square are lovely and take care of solo diners very well. The bar is sort of also the kitchen and you’re right in the thick of it no matter what. We also had a lovely meal at Cicada in Central Square recently. Their outside space is gorgeous and prime people watching. I saw several people dining alone, as they are also a coffee bar, and books and laptops are frequent, but the food was quite nice. Only Oleana’s courtyard surpasses it, which is high praise indeed.
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or, perhaps that cultural expectation that men have more money and spend more money?
I’ve seen it go both ways in terms of preferential treatment by gender. I’ve eaten out a lot alone, including when I was traveling in Europe alone for several months. I was more timid when I was in my 20s but lost the timidity as I got older. Mostly (maybe because I got older and became less timid), I haven’t experienced much sexism.
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Thanks for this! I’ve never made it Spoke and really want to try it. Same for Cicada.
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Also a possibility. But with so many women supporting themselves for years and years, and not knowing when a shabbily or “lesser dressed” person, male or female, has the money to spend or not, how about treating everyone on an equal plane?
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oh, absolutely treating everyone on an equal plane be the assumed and actual default!
I’m old enough to remember going to an upscale restaurant decades ago where the women were given menus without prices, and more than once in upscale places, the server expected a man to order for all parties at the table. That was decades ago, thank goodness!
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Of the recent reports I posted about my omakase experiences and such, all of those were my dining alone. For the pop up, they stuck me at a table with someone else who was dining alone (another female). Generally I don’t find this to be an issue nor do I get self conscious about it, perhaps because when I traveled for work this was just something you get used to. I have come across a few fine dining places that will not take less than 2. Well, they don’t get my business then. This is rare though, and there are enough great food places for me to go to instead.
And if you are visiting fine dining places in areas I can get to, we can get a dining group going. 
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I don’t think this is necessary either. Yes, I get the wait staff depends on tips, but single diners shouldn’t be penalized for dining alone because they eat less. When I dine alone, I don’t linger at the restaurant long unless it is really dead. I also am pretty low maintenance - I’m not constantly flagging the staff for service. Single diner tables likely turnover faster than big parties.
If this is why some places insist on seating no less than 2, then screw them. Just put a sign up that reads: Single diners go home, or have wait staff carry cardboard signs that read I need more tips to feed my family.
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I admit, I tip generously for Toronto, because I’m female, I often dine alone, I rarely drink and I haven’t been ordering dessert. I tip on take-out, too. I like having good service.
I know there’s a bit of a bias in parts of North America, that some servers expect women to tip less, and teetotalers to be cheap, etc.
Some people (regardless of biological sex or gender ) are really cheap.
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Pushing the burden of all of this analysis of table turning and tab size and so on onto the diner is just a bit much.
That’s the job of the business, not the customer.
And why tips are usually pooled.
I haven’t come across this, though now I’m wondering if maybe at Momofuku Ko…
I’d think it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen if they denied solo customers.
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If I don’t see an option for 1 person on the restaurants reservation page, I usually contact them directly or get my hotel to contact them for me. Surprisingly it’s worked for me a few times, most recently at Sacha(Madrid) and when I was looking for somewhere that wouldn’t charge me full price, min 2 person, for paella in Valencia, Navarro was the only place that would accommodate me, and it was wonderful.
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Absolutely. Some reservations websites won’t allow a single diner, but when I’ve called or contacted the restaurant directly, they usually have no problem.
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