We ran out of bourbon…does that count?!
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Two disasters from “post-Thanksgiving sale” turkeys:
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No one told us you need to defrost a turkey. A roommate was cross when he found our defrosting turkey, wrapped in a garbage bag in the bathtub, weighed down with heavy pots, and water on the floor because turkeys float better than pots weigh down.
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A friend told me he’d pick up a $5 turkey at Albertson’s while I was at home for Thanksgiving. I assumed he’d frozen it. A week later, his roommate pleaded with me to pick up the 24 lb bird, which had been rotting in his refrigerator. We wound up using it to hone our deboning skills, which I’ve never since put to use.
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More tragic than disasterous…
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My family had 5 babies in 8 years. And one miscarriage in there. My mother was 30 a few months before the last boy was born. Yep, back then they thought you couldn’t get pregnant after 30, apparently! I was 8 when the last of the three boys was born. I remember my father waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me I had another brother. I was very, very, very disappointed…I fervently wanted a baby sister. That youngest brother ate mostly peanut butter and green beans for almost a decade. The rest of us mostly ate my mother’s limited cooking range.
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We had five children in seven years. After the birth of our fifth, the doctor who delivered all of them took me aside and told me: “You need to stop plowing the field.” I got the message.
Last night at dinner, Son #1 was in a melancholly mood and was recalling his growing up in the family… He’s the father of four year old twins and a Stay-At-Home Dad. His first statement: “I don’t know how you two managed to raise us when we were so close in age.” His second comment: "I used to get so pissed when you got on any of us. I thought ’ “geez, we’re only kids” '. His third statement: “It’s Karma getting back at me dealing with my kids…”
We had a laugh together. Based on the relationship I see the twins have with him, he’s become a good a patient Dad.
Gathering moments like Thanksgiving Day can be a true blessing.
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That life lesson is hilarious!
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Disaster, going to work at 5 PM.
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That’s a fking disaster
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You win the internet today!!! 
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Can I exchange it for the 2nd place Ca$h prize?
Originally shared this in a Thanksgiving thread in the New Jersey section but wanted to post it here too. Great stories, everyone!
We usually do our turkey in a slow-cooker GASP! I know. However, there is a reason.
When I was a child, my family always went out for Thanksgiving. Poet’s Inn in Matawan had a beautiful Thanksgiving buffet and we were regulars there during the year. My mom is a wonderful cook but for some reason, Thanksgiving was always left to a restaurant. She did Christmas dinner (usually a stuffed roast pork) so I never understood why. Then when I was about 13 or 14, she decided she would cook a “real” Thanksgiving dinner. We were all excited. Now, our oven which was relatively new had moments where it would not hold the heat. It needed to be re-calibrated…which we discovered…ON THAT THANKSGIVING. So, its 4 PM, turkey has been roasting for hours, sides are done and hot, dad pulls out the turkey and begins carving…only to discover that while the outside had browned nicely, the inside was perfectly raw and inedible. Back in it went. Several hours, five or six dried out sides, and three mom conniptions later, we had Thanksgiving dinner. From that moment on, into the slow-cooker it went.
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