I once made a whole pork butt for fake kalua pig. I didn’t have any banana leaves for the steaming aspect, so I figured I could just use damp burlap. Turns out the burlap was surplus sandbag material that was coated with something execrable and the smell was totally through the meat. Total loss.
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Didn’t properly depressurize an old pressure cooker. Pressure valve gave in as I was trying to move it from the stove element. Dropped pressure cooker, when then span in circles on the floor hissing and spewing carrot bits. The whole kitchen looked like a Jackson Pollock painting. Spent the next couple of days cleaning floor, cabinets, appliances, ceiling, light fixtures, phone…
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Just post college (or maybe my senior year?) the ex- and I threw a dinner party. Things were going pretty great right 'til it was time for after dinner drinks, which were frozen margaritas (hey, it was 1990, it’s what brand new adults did). The ex was making them, and managed the first batch quite well, and was on batch 2. Somehow in she forgot the ‘replace lid on blender’ step…
Ceiling, walls, the little space between the sink and the stove you can’t actually get to… all of that.
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Oh good…now I feel like I can share the worst one. Roomie and I had returned from a night out and were starving (as one tends to be).
We grabbed the pork chops that were in the fridge and somewhere along the line he decided that a cherry pan sauce would be awesome, and didnt let a small detail like the only cherries in the house were the jarred maraschino ones stop him.
I was finding cherry juice in strange places around the kitcheb six months later. It wasnt the worse pan sauce ever. Lol
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Recently retired and on a rare quiet afternoon decided to make a latte. Hadn’t made one in years and totally forgot the frothing wand is to be inserted into the liquid not just at the top.
My peaceful afternoon was turned into a cleaning session with an afternoon Splatte.
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Isnt it amazing how far a small amount of liquid can splatter?
Disgusting actually! 
I still have spots of mole on my kitchen ceiling from when it bubbled a little too vigorously while I with distracted with something else I was making!
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This has caught uncounted murderers. Just sayin’
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Another strange oven shutdown. I pre-heated it to 525F to make a pizza, but somehow the heat turned off. The temperature was around 225F when I noticed it and turned it on again. But it finished baking just as the temperature hit 525 again, and was fine.
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It was a holiday family meal at my mother-in-law’s. All the sides were done, the soup was hot and ready, all that remained was to remove the roast from the oven. Which had not been turned on. Ooops.
We broke out all the frying pans. I portioned the raw roast into steaks sized for the eventual recipient. Cooked some rare, some well, and with two quick stovetop shifts the roast became steaks. A good meal was had by all.
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I got up early to finish some nice dinner rolls and turkey and everything else for Thanksgiving for my family of 6 plus 4 others (except my dear MIL brought the dressing and a dessert salad). I put the rolls in the smaller lower oven as I was carving the turkey. About 30 minutes into the meal, one of my daughters asked, “Dad, where are the rolls?” - I’d made hockey pucks.
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In my cups a wee bit one night after finishing a stint of 7 days of 16 hour shifts, I decided I wanted some hard boiled eggs. I put them on to boil and sat in my easy chair to watch a bit of television. An hour or so later I was awakened to loud pops as the eggs, having boiled dry, exploded. I actually managed to get egg yolk inside of the dome cover for the overhead fluorescent light fixture.
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Very recently:
Taken out a baby chicken to defrost, but ate something else.
Didn’t want the chicken to go off, so quickly put in the pressure cooker with spices and liquid, so I would have chicken the next day.
When I opened the cooker and wanted to shred the chicken, I noticed chicken liver, neck & feet.
Totally didn’t expect/think about the habit here to stuff those parts in a plastic bag inside the cavity of the chicken.
There was no more plastic bag…
It must have dissolved
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Several times I have ruined a tomato beef curry recipe by using baking soda instead of cornstarch in the recipe. I pull out the wrong jar in which they are housed. It cannot be saved. All those wonderful cuts of flank steak destroyed. Got wise and put the items in clearly labled jars. Jeez!
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It’s good to use different size jars for similar items like baking powder, baking soda, cornstarch.
my baking powder stays in its little cannister it came in. Baking soda gets transferred to a snap-lock lidded tupperware that is wider than it is tall. Corn starch stays in the yellow square mini-tub with a screwtop lid that it came in once. Now I mostly just refill the same tub.
Other similar white powders are used seldom enough that they stay in their bags, twisted closed and put in an airtight container with other similar stuff (potato starch, rice flour, wheat gluten, citric acid, etc)
exceptions to this are caustics: food grade lye is kept under the sink. For pretzels only, really. Baked baking soda (sodium carbonate, for pretzels or alkaline noodles) is in the pantry in its own little tupperware container clearly labled with big red sharpie. And is set among equipment, rather than other edibles.
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I do that with my sodium nitrite!
Mine isn’t pink anymore. It stays with my sausage making equipment
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I love that cornstarch comes in the tub now. I do the same as you.
I’ve got it (nitrites) in a separate container marked “toxic, do not use”. Mine also is not pink and is past expiry, but it seems it’s hard to decompose it except at very high temps.
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I very much doubt that your nitrites have expired. They’re rocks. Rocks don’t expire.
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