I try not to go into a meal expecting anything other than good food and service. I don’t think I’ve ever checked a box like that on an online reservation. That’s just me though. I’m not looking for extra attention and, at the places where we’re already regulars, we tip well enough that we generally get all we need any time we’re there.
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A similar response from Mrs Harters.
We were on a cruise in 2017and had booked one of the ship’s speciality restaurants as it was her birthday. It was a nice meal until the end when a parade of waiters brought a cake and stood round her singing Happy B. No, I had not told them - I know Mrs H and would not have risked life and limb by being culpable. They knew simply because dates of birth are recorded on the computer system and that’s what they do.
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I actively avoid flagging special occasions.
For a long time it was the norm at informal business dinners to whisper to the server that it was someones bday (it wasn’t). Ive been and seen others serenaded, adorned with sombreros, etc to last a lifetime.
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Yeah, hard no to sombreros, conga lines, serenades.
I was thinking along a small gesture, as mentioned in my OP.
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When we were on a tour in China, my birthday fell on the night of the farewell dinner, complete with roast suckling pig. That was a much better birthday treat than the special cake they made for me, because in 1982, Chinese chefs were not known for their ability to make Western baked goods
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And from me. They know when my birthday is at Dali and all have learned that I do NOT want anything sung at me.
Julio now sometimes gifts me the Churros on the house, or does heavy pours of Licor 43. 
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It’s the little things & the little gestures.
We’re not toddlers who require the attention of an entire resto full of strangers, after all 
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Oh I understood…just put such a bad taste in my mouth I dont make a note for anything.
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We don’t tend to do celebratory meals at places that would do such a thing, so I’d never have to worry about that happening.
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Yes, I usually do for someone else’s birthday, anniversary, graduation, etc. If the place solicits such mentions, I have a mild expectation they’ll do or say SOMETHING. Otherwise, IF they do, I take it as a tip-worthy gesture of hospitality.
I’ve had the full range of experiences, from complete blow-offs to fawning chef visits with goodies. A dessert with a candle, or a digestif, is always appreciated, but I stop short of disappointment if it doesn’t happen.
I look in horror at sparklers spewing chemicals onto a cake.
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Really? It’s a pretty common practice. Never heard of anyone getting sick from sparkler poisoning.
The sugar and fat in the cake will do a lot more damage to your health than a sparkler.
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I love sparklers & bought a pack when we first got to Berlin. Didn’t end up using them, but I’ll find an occasion next summer 
That brought back acid flashback memories of birthdays at Farrell’s (IYKYK).
A hit of acid (on the house?) will make almost any meal out a special occasion 
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Wife’s birthday today, so we drove down to La Jolla for lunch at George’s At The Cove, We haven’t been there in years and it has great views of the Pacific. I told our server about the birthday and she comped a dessert. Nice touch! Tipped a bit more than usual for the gesture.
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Nice birthday celebration. A comped dessert is my favorite gesture of hospitality from a restaurant on a birthday. Happy, happy to your wife!
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