My company merged with a bigger one and after about 6 months, they had everyone in my department fly over to their DFW-area HQ for a meet & greet week. My boss had visited our location a few times but we hadn’t met much of the larger department. He and I had already bragged at each other about our cooking but he was sure he was better, for no reason other than he was an arrogant git.
A “teambuilding” event that week was in an old converted barn in Fort Worth. They had a comedian and lots of booze and light hors d’oeuvres. It wasn’t until after the magician closed out his set that we learned the main event was to be like one of those competitions on the Food Network.
We had 40 people broken randomly into 5 teams of 8. There was a food pantry with decent provisions, seriously bad utensils and cookware, and each team had 2 propane burners. And 3 rotating “genuine chefs” to offer advice.
We were told we had 45 minutes to put together competition chili. On my team were 3 women, including the department VP, none of whom could cook (the VP’s comment was, “That’s what restaurants are for!”). Of the 4 other men, one guy, Butler, said he was a decent cook and the rest professed ignorance.
So Butler and I started batting ideas around and decided meat was a yes (they had sirloin that we had to saw down into chunks with a knife about as sharp as a butter knife) and lots of different chilis was a yes (they had many types fresh in the pantry; we showed 4 of the non-cooks how to blister them over the propane burners).
But when it came to beans he put his foot down.
TEXAS chili does NOT have BEANS!
We went back and forth a bit and finally my beer-addled brain came up with a solution. “How many people here are actually from Texas, originally?” Turns out there were only maybe 6 so he gave in on the beans thing. There were plenty of side jobs for the rest of the team to help out with and we could hit the pantry at any time as ideas came up, plus making beer runs for others.
After time was called everyone got little paper cups and tasted everyone’s chili and voted on it.
Results by team:
A - zero votes (it was hideous)
B - 8 votes (my boss’s team - the chili was pretty good, better than most home cook’s that I’ve tried)
C - 2 votes (pretty bad but I guess someone liked it. Or “team spirit”.)
D - 36 votes (Butler + me + 6 non-cooks) [1]
E - zero votes (same comment as with A)
[1] You may notice the total is 46 votes - the 3 chefs got 2 votes each.
My boss took it personally and pouted about it for months. (edit) Part of what got his panties in a wad was that his chili was “Real Texas Chili” and mine wasn’t.