Digga, so sorry to hear this. My dad had strokes that really effected his swallowing and his utensil skills. His fallback was always scallops, easy to cut into small bites with his fork and that he could manage on his own. Preferably with mashed something, squash or potatoes.
And ice cream of any kind. He really did not like to be “noticed” when eating or have anyone prep his plate for him.
Have a good visit with your friend.
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I’m sorry to hear about your friend’s ALS diagnosis. My mom died of ALS in 2001 and her health deteriorated very quickly after diagnosis.
I don’t live in Boston but I can make some suggestions. I remember my mom telling me early on that she couldn’t eat lentil soup anymore since the lentils would get stuck in her throat. Lots of soft foods were good. Creamed soups, mashed veggies and fruits, and mashed fish were a safe bet. At mealtime we would give my mother a creamer with cream in it to thin out whatever she was eating since cream is high in protein. Yogurt and scrambled eggs were good too. Chowder would be good but you might have to purée the clams or whatever you put in it. Lobster rolls would be good too. I can’t remember if my mom could still eat bread (she died 22 years ago) but your friend could probably eat the filling. Ensure was good for the days she couldn’t eat but your friend’s spouse might have a meal replacement handy already. This brochure is helpful.
My thoughts are with you during this difficult time and let us know how you make out.
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So very sorry to hear about your friend. If you do go the seafood route I highly recommend The Hourly Oyster on Dunster. A lot of their food – including oysters! – is available for takeout.
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Thank you to all who have responded.
I didn’t mean to sound like a Debbie Downer — we want to have a celebratory visit, which means celebratory food (within reason).
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ALS can manifest in different people - for some the first indicators are in the legs, for others, the hands, and so throughout the body as well. My dad didn’t really have issues with eating until the very very end, when he was practically immobile. If your friend is still getting around reasonably well, he can likely eat what he likes, and if necessary, his fam will know how to modify it for consumption. Get what he loves, and enjoy the celebration.
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@Madrid made the great suggestion of Dumpling House above. If you’re inclined in that direction here’s @Parsnipity’s post on it and mine. Both are “recent”, at least in terms of our sedate pace these days. There’s also the excellent 5-Spices House in Central.
Much of the best food at both places is spicy, but there are dumplings at both restaurants (obviously at DH, but also at 5-S) that are very good. On the non-spicy side at 5-S the scallion fried rice is a sleeper hit, and the sizzling chicken with crispy rice also terrific (although it requires some minimal assembly).
But, IF you’re inclined in this culinary direction I suggest a look at Shanghai Fresh, also in the general neighborhood. We ate there many times in the pre- days and the foods was always unusual, and often exciting. It was a testament that food could set your taste buds alight without setting them on fire. [Disclosure: Have not had their food in 5ish years (but a lot of it before).]
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You’re no Debbie Downer. That’s my job.
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Summer Shack’s iconic specialty, Jasper’s Pan-Roasted Lobster, is almost literally a dish to die for. There’s an obscene amount of butter in its herby wine sauce. Sometimes they have parsnip puree as one of the choices of vegetable sides. It’s also buttery and delish.
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For quite some time, our (adopted; saying to make it clear we didn’t cause his trauma) son had swallowing/fear of choking issues that were emotionally-based, physically-manifested. He used to love hot dogs if we peeled them, using a vegetable peeler or a small, sharp knife, and cut them up in small pieces. Served with ketchup, of course. It was how he got the flavor he loved without fear of choking. Might work if your friend loves hot dogs and doesn’t find the extra prep (which takes minimal time) infantilizing or demeaning, either now or later, depending on how his disease progresses.
Our son is doing great and has resumed hot dogs, with no special prep.
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Could something like ramen work - there are a few ramen places like Menya Jiro or Santouka reasonably closeby
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So nice of you to do, and I was wondering where you’d gone lately.
I have no specific experience with ALS, and I totally get why you don’t want a protracted discussion with the partner, but I think a quick text or email to ask if there’s anything you should avoid bringing would not be cumbersome, and might actually take some anxiety off the partner’s mind. What if they’re wondering what to expect, but don’t want to be rude by asking you to bring or not bring something specific? Just my 2 cents- as a planner, I’d always rather be asked than surprised!
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Dear GBA Onions — well instead of taking any of the collective good advice, I ended up cooking dinner, which just felt right to me. I did inquire about any strong dislikes/cravings and the partner told me that he has a wicked big sweet tooth, which I wouldn’t have guessed (the man is fit and thin as a rail, even in his late 60s and he has no chewing/swallowing issues, as long as things are cut in small pieces, which he can do himself…he has always had amazing-to-me etiquette and continues to do so).
I forgot to take photos, but based on the intel I got, I made:
• one-pan roasted cod with tomatoes (NYT; I have made this dish before, and it is so easy and feels just fancy enough for a dinner party)
• roasted baby potatoes
• Swiss chard + mushroom galette (using TJ’s puff pastry)
• to supplement, we brought beef brisket, green beans, and rice&beans from Blue Ribbon BBQ. They are both from KC so I set their expectations but they were both so pleased to see BBQ show up on their table.
• An assortment of treats from Butternut bakery in Arlington (espresso torte, carrot cake, Namaimo bars)
Even though they are very well off, the female partner still struggles with mealtimes (she’s never been interested in cooking). So they were grateful for the food and all the leftovers that would probably last for a couple of days. I’m thinking about making a chicken pot pie and Guinness beef stew to drop off soon — the things we do for love (says this pescatarian).
Thank you all for your awesome and thoughtful advice.
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Sounds like a great meal. Very nice of you to have done all this.
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Oh man, that should read “ Onions,” not solely GBA (Greater Boston Area). I’m an equal opportunity Onion! Just on auto-pilot lately.
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Sounds like you did good. Unfortunately, I have quite a bit of recent experience with ALS as my good friend’s husband was diagnosed several months ago after about 9 months of symptoms. Even worse, he has Bulbar ALS which manifests first with speech and swallowing problems and has a quicker progression than limb onset ALS. He is already on a feeding tube but before that happened, it was soups or pureed foods. Now I am making meals for friend and teen since they are busy doing tube feedings every two hours. Just a horrible disease.
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That sounds like a delicious and thoughtful meal! And so nice to have planned leftovers for them.
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So thoughtful and wonderful, Digga, and I am sure they appreciate the leftovers.
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Sharing a meal in good company + offering leftovers for later is one of life’s great joys. I’m sure your friends appreciated!
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@tcamp That sounds like a very difficult sad situation. I had one work colleague years ago whose husband died of early-onset ALS in his late-30’s (not sure the technical term for it; his dad and brother also succumbed).
We Onions, I think, show our love through food as you are doing for your friend and her kid. They must be so grateful.
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I haven’t been to BRBBQ in over 5 years, since I no longer drive, but I always got the same thing: the BBQ Burrito, with burnt ends as my choice of meat. If you are unfamiliar, it’s as huge as it is tasty. You’d probably want pulled meat for your friend, who would most likely need to eat it with a knife and fork. (Joe E. Brown would have had to struggle to open wide enough to get his mouth around the intact burrito!.. grasshoppers, google him 
).
Also, Panera’s Autumn Harvest squash soup (cheaper at Market Basket than at Panera locations) is vegetarian and outstanding. Every bit as good, and satisfying, as curried winter squash soups made with chicken stock.
Consider a Tres Leches cake, which is very soft.
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