I love the last one, having peeled up the linoleum. “Wilma is a three-year-old labrador and she loves to chew things. I bought her an indestructible chew toy, but she’s not interested. She has chewed about 10 TV remotes, all of my trainers, the cable of my record player and several Bluetooth headsets. Most of my daughter’s dolls are now amputees.”
Oh, the linoleum, i couldn’t figure out what that was.
Our old beagle/black lab mix used to munch on stuff she wasn’t supposed to (kids’ plastic plates or cups if dropped, TV remotes, etc.). One day she pulled the real coup de grâce.
We got home from work to find she’d eaten about 1.5 inches deep across a 3-foot long swath of the edge of one of the kitchen sills (tall windows, sills pretty close to the floor). Heading upstairs, she’d ripped off about the same depth for 5 feet along the wooden baserail capping (luckily these were both cheap builder standard painted pine, not decorative woods). As a finale, she’d eaten one of my wife’s Navy blue died sueded leather slippers. She’d vomited that up along the beige carpeting of the top 6 stairs, along the carpeting of the landing, and on into our master bedroom.
Apparently stomach acid makes blue die really fix well onto carpet fibers because nothing would get it up. Except bleach. I ended up bleaching all the areas several times then re-dying with several applications of tea to get it pretty close to the original beige (certainly less noticeable than the blue or bleached white) until we were ready to recarpet.
I got the sill and baserail fixed up but warned the new owners about it (at the time of their pre-purchase inspection) because while the fix was cosmetically perfect, if their kids tried to climb on the outside of the stairs to if anyone tried to stand on the lip of the windowsill, the dowels/glue might fail.
So we got our beagle/lab a puppy to be a companion and the destruction stopped on day one thereafter. Hers did. Her new friend couldn’t resist a loose carpet yarn and one day while we were out she pulled several yards out, making a nice ~ foot square spot bare to the reinforcing scrim. I spent about 4 hours on my belly with a magnifying glass and a pair of very pointy tweezers poking loops back in. Looked okay but the pattern wasn’t quite the same as the rest.
How fortunate that you are a real MacGyver. The worst thing I can remember one of our dogs doing is chewing on Mr. BR’s denture.
You think you want to own a wolf? I had one find me once, and she was a young timber wolf who just ran right up to me (caused a near-scat situation for me) when my wife and I were walking home from a pub. She had a little band wrapped around her leg from the timber wolf preserve about 10 miles away from our neighborhood. Takeeway 1: Not a good watch dog, they never bark; and I fear the worst if someone came in by surprise. I’m sure just the sight of her would have scared anyone away; but she didn’t bark. 2: If I wasn’t with her, there was NO way to contain that dog. Wild pack animal; she needed to be around her alpha. NEEDED to be. She had to be by me. 8 foot fence with pointy wood at the top; she was over it in seconds. Fridge door? You kiddin’ me? 3: I read somewhere never to lay down by a wolf as they would determine you are hurt prey and might take advantage. I didn’t have a bed, as I just bought my first house and was broke, so I slept on a futon pad. Bed time was a little nervy. But, I laid down, and here she comes…put her neck right across mine, and so we slept. Gulp! 4: Nice girl but badass. Stopped for beer at a depot, and there was a Rottweiler chained up and at the end of its leash just a growling away. I had the window of my truck open and Lakota (I learned her name when I gave her back) wasted no time hopping through that window to assure my safe beer purchase. The Rott wasted no time cowering to its back when it saw Lakota. Tuff guy was licking her mouth like he was heeling to momma. That dog lost a bit of pride just then. 5: it’s a wild animal and belongs in the wild. The preserve has just that, so I called the number. Found her on a Friday afternoon, and the woman came Sunday to get an animal I knew would be hard to part with. But, she was born, born to be wild. Never hurt a thing in my house. Even at supper, she lay patiently until I had finished my pork chop. Gave her one, sans the salt and pepper I used to season it, and she took it from my hand graciously. Felt blessed to know her. Turned one Rottweiler white as a sheet.
Oh, that’s actually funny (while being unfortunate at the same time). The dog probably thought to him/herself, “Well, teeth are for chewing, right? So these teeth are fair game!”
No kidding, cross-my-heart, that was my nickname in the Army.
Agree. There was an animal sanctuary (unfortunately now closed) was called Safari Edventure a ways outside of Miami. They had about 8 acres of land and made homes for all manner of exotic animal former pets that people with more money than common sense had dumped on animal control when they found out that, no, a timber wolf (or other exotic animal) is not a good apartment pet. You could go into the wolves’ enclosure and pet them with one of the staff along. We took the kids there for many years, any time we were in S.FL.
Same goes for hybrids, I speak from experience. One of the dumbest thing man has ever done.
(But his people definitely say don’t try this at home.)
I enjoy this YT channel. But, really not to be tried at home.
Drunk again, I see.
She does like a little nip* every now and then.
Don’t we all? Hence my “there was wine” comment ending some of my WFD posts.
Oh how I wish I had a picture of the time, years ago that our black lab was PISSED about being left home for the day, while I took our schnauzer to be dropped off at the groomers before I went to work. The 2 dogs were always shut in the basement where they had a cozy little baby mattress covered in comfy blankets to hang out on. At the top of the stairs was an old door, with a window at the top. Arriving home after work, I stepped in the kitchen, which looked like a bomb went off! Splintered wood everywhere, with a great big hole in the door. OMG, after a fit of laughing, H came home to witness & then cleanup began. Were renting at the time, so door replacement happened.