The world is not perfect. You have to deal with the hand you have. When you cater to a certain clientele you get what you get.
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Really- I worked front end at medical office. I was cussed, spit on, called every name in the book including whore, slut, and whatever else they wanted to say and this was 30 years ago when people still had a modicum of civility. I was told “Deal with it. That’s your job.” Your world must be perfect.
I will say this I HATE SCREAMING CRYING UNRULY KIDS in restaurants. I have left in the middle of a meal or left when I have to even be seated near the things. But I don’t say that to people whose business I am trying to get. Now if someone would make a no kids, no golf shirt wearing self entitled @-hole restaurant then I would gladly patronize it. I agree some people are Golden Corral and that is all they ever will be, but there is a level of professionalism that is required when dealing with the public and I keep repeating that word cause you are not getting that. When you aspire to a certain level in your profession, you need to respond at that level. You don’t sink to the level of whoever is coming at you. You hold yourself above the fray. You stick to the facts- you refute them and you move on. You don’t name call, you don’t shame, you don’t be ass back to an ass. When you deal with the public, you have to take the good with the bad. Sometimes in life, you smile, nod and move on. Just like right now. Bless your heart.
ETA- I am going to go tell my husband I no longer want cow crap on my porch or him coming in with cow crap on his clothes. LOL I am going to tell him that I expect not to have to deal with it. We’ll see where THAT gets me.
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The workplace has changed. You would have a legit harassment claim if you were told to “deal with” customers abusing you now.
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You so funny. LMAO You deal with you are given period. I worked in coal and construction less than 10 years ago, was called every name in the book, had a knife held to my neck, was threatened to be raped, killed and everything else. The boys didn’t want a woman on their jobsite or mine site. Life is still a man’s world and it ain’t changin’. Please. I needed a paycheck. I have two farms to pay for and you do what you have to do to survive. I didn’t whine and cry about it or threaten to sue. I dealt with it cause I had to. You get tough or you get run over. One day I didn’t take it anymore and I walked out. Their notice was noticing me walk out the door. Life ain’t perfect or fair. It ain’t gonna be. More people need to learn to deal and learn that life isn’t fair. The other woman, and there weren’t many less than half a dozen, put up with it cause they had mouths to feed cause their old men left them high and dry. Did it upset us? Yes, but we survived. When I am asked what I am most proud of in my life. I say “I am a survivor.”
And yes you may have a legit claim today, but… My friend still works in medical and she was hit last week by a patient who was upset that Chelsea would not make her an appointment when SHE wanted it and the doctor said “oh well the patient comes first.” Lawyers take money and lots of it. So in y’alls world it may work they way you want it to, but down in the trenches you are still dirt under people’s feet and if you want a paycheck, you will take whatever is dished out until you find another paycheck. And in a small area, your name gets associated with being a whiner or complainer or lawyer caller, you will never get another job. So trust me when I say, it is ALL in how you react. I could just see myself when I was in construction running to a lawyer cause the boys were mean. Or when I was in mining and having to pee behind the wheel of a 777 cause the mine boss said the toilets were not for women. If the guys on the site got a thrill from seeing me pee then so be it. I pulled my pants down and let them look. Nothing in this world is fair, legit or certainly not perfect.
any establishment that decides to publicly lash out at customers - whether the review is nice, ugly, harsh, fair, unfair, rude, etc etc etc . . .
will not be on my ‘go to’ or ‘return’ list.
if they can’t stand the heat, they should close the kitchen.
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Have you seen the responses from the owner of Marcy’s Diner in Maine who screamed at the baby?
We all make choices, and where you live and work are two of them. Many years ago I put up with things I would never put up with today, now that I am more experienced and more knowledgeable and more independent. And times have changed. People are less afraid to speak out about abusive situations because they know they’re more likely to be supported - both socially and legally - than in the past. Things changed precisely because we became progressively less willing to “just deal with it.”
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I have actually found that people are less inclined to speak up now because they don’t want to be labeled as trouble makers or whatever. Well I just came from a large multi national corporation and everyone let the GM and the lead scientist get away with screaming, cussing, and rants so times have not changed so much. Me and my former boss reported this when we left and HR never contacted either of us. We also told the GM’s boss and he laughed at us. And this was in a very liberal college town so again, times have not changed that much. Husband has been discriminated against at his jobs for years because of his age (he works for state of VA). He filed a grievance, he was told by HR in Richmond “You now have a target on your back and we can’t do anything about it.” Several years ago a family in my community was being harassed because of them living in a single wide trailer, I stood up for them. The “community leaders” had the local water head falsify charges against me and cost me lawyer fees. I won the case, but was out over $2,500 and my husband was humiliated in a community that he was born and raised in. Two teens at a local high school committed suicide because of the way they were treated at school- a TRUE case of bullying. When the parents spoke out, the moneyed in the community had the Commonwealth Attorney file legal charges against the parents. The parents were acquitted, but again they were out lots of money and were humiliated in addition to having lost a child. I am making NONE of this up. So even when you try, things don’t change. The good ole boy system and money ALWAYS covers for the other. This is why so many people walked away from their jobs in the last several years because they could! Sometimes you have a choice, sometimes you don’t. I got another opportunity and I walked away last July with only one week’s notice. Lots of a-holes employers out there found out they were not all that great over the last couple of years. Good thing about getting old is you realize that you don’t care anymore. You realize the world is corrupt and full of pricks and it isn’t going to change so don’t think about it and live what life you have left the best you can.
When I was 18 yo I was stopped by a sheriff’s deputy for failing to use my turn signal at a t-intersection in a town of < 200 population. He asked me why I didn’t use my signal and I said I didn’t know it was required in a mandatory turn lane. He shot back, 
“Are you telling me you didn’t know signaling was required?” I replied, 
“You asked and I answered. If you don’t want an honest answer don’t ask the question.”
I had to stand outside my car without a coat in the winter while he checked my license status. 
🌨
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@calam1ty - I’m not too tactful and typically DGAF so having said that I like your review and their reply.
My ruling is: case dismissed; mutual combat.
it’s called “the hospitality industry”
if you can’t do hospitality - get out of the business.
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While I somewhat agree and with no reflection on the op of course, there are some customers who are not needed or wanted and I wouldn’t have to think twice about sending them on their way.
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I wonder if I missed something. Did a post get deleted?
That has not been my experience at all, but I’m from the opposite of a small town, and I’m around a lot of young people who are in there “evolve, already, olds!” years. And other folks unafraid to be labeled troublemakers.
I think there is the tendency to employ scorched earth and destroy any dissenters policy for anyone who doesn’t conform. This is what I see from the unprofessional responses to reviews. I am not afraid to speak up or stand alone. However I am more selective these days on which I chose to die on.
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What? Excuse me? Let me add some words to my post which my phone did not capture. I am more selective these days on which hill I chose to die on.
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We went to Border Grill when in Vegas several years ago for their unlimited small plates brunch and $5 extra for bottomless mimosas. Had a great time. When a dinner reservation fell through several days later we booked at Border Grill. We got there early and the hostess advised us to wait at the bar. We did with a drink. Eventually after like half an hour I asked her what was up and she said “you didn’t show up for your reservation”. I was all YOU TOLD US TO SIT AT THE BAR, YOU KNEW WE WERE HERE, AND WE WERE RIGHT IN YOUR SIGHT LINE!
I was furious. They then sat us in the corner and we had the shittiest service. I tweeted my anger and displeasure to the corporate account and had a response before we even paid the bill. I must have responded b/c they emailed me. I was like “look we are just visitors who may never be here again” but the Twitter account manager wanted all of the details. They then offered us the same amazing brunch on the house the day we were flying out. They even sent the head chef (Mike Minor) out to greet us and make sure that we were happy with the food.
That is outstanding customer service. I straight up told them that I live all the way across the country and likely wouldn’t be back anytime soon but they still made it up to us.
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@calam1ty, as you can tell from the replies, there will never be a consensus about this. Like tipping, it’s probably a discussion best had offline. You can meditate, switch realities, and imagine being the shop owner posting on r/cafeowners, “Can you believe the nerve after everything we’ve been through?” And all the other owners are telling you, “Good for you standing your ground!” Everyone has their own experiences that shape their core values.
I’ve been all over the spectrum in terms of giving feedback: Forums, Yelp, email, website feedback forms, over the phone, and in-person. After all these years, I still have to muster a lot of courage because you never know how the other party will respond (even with positive feedback.) You might get kicked out the shop, or you may end up spending the next 2 hours touring the facilities and chatting. My advice: Don’t give honest feedback unless you can handle an honest reply. The cafe’s reply to you may or may not have been “right”, but it was honest. Take it as a data point and move on.
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