David Sedaris on hoarding


I’m a lousy hoarder, too. I already had toilet paper, grabbed a bigger block of cheese than usual but that’s about it.

“Amy and I went to Eataly the next day, determined. Twice we were scolded by staff members for standing too close to the person ahead of us, at the butcher and at the freshly-made-pasta counter.”

That’s funny, I think.

My husband would say I’ve always been a hoarder, but he mostly shakes his head at non-food items that I want to repurpose. I had someone replacing a fence, and helping me build a greenhouse, and I’m pretty sure he snickered about me saving the excavated dirt for my various compost piles.

At work someone has added disinfectant wipes, and various sizes of hand sanitizers to my desk. Meanwhile I already have a dispenser so old, that it broke apart when I pushed the plunger down. I’m using that one first.

Music in all formats for as long as I can replace parts and keep the media in good shape. GUILTY. But, I have a backroom dedicated to all things sound so no one else has to deal with it.

Otherwise I’m general not much for clutter and things I like I hold onto a long time.

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I’m fantastic at hoarding and it is apparently one of my natural skill sets, so I don’t even get how you can be bad at hoarding. So good that I pre-hoarded, so I didn’t even have to fight for the goods with anyone this time around.