Cauliflower crust "pizza"

As a disclaimer I’d like to start by pointing out that my home state of NJ now has recreational marijuana and I’ve had my medical card for a while now.

Have you ever wandered Whole Foods when you were really wasted? Take this as a precautionary tale. Any food looks good when one is wasted. And this is how I ended up with this:

Looks like a typical frozen pizza right? And therein lies the problem. So did the picture on the box. In fact, I burned it a little so the picture on the box looked better. Unfortunately, it’s quite possible the box would also have tasted better than the “pizza.”

I’ve read some things where the author talks about how good cauliflower crust is. Don’t you believe it. From this Jersey boy, there is no substitute for dough.





Lol, as a long-time low carber I can attest to this fact - there is NO substitute for dough, and if there were, cauliflower ain’t it. I frequently put pizza toppings on a disc of Italian sausage for a satisfying, low carb, pizza-flavored meal, but it is not pizza and never will be!


I am not low carb but made cauliflower pizza a few times because I like cauliflower. It was tasty so long as I did not think of it as pizza. That is how I usually feel about these types of substitutions. A dish made with long strips of zucchini or butternut squash can be very tasty but if I want pasta. I make pasta. Same with riced cauliflower and cauliflower puree. Very distinctive texture and flavor. Some say they serve these things to people, and they don’t notice the substitution. I find that hard to believe. People are either being nice or not paying much attention into what they put in their mouth.


Unfortunately, my sweetie is a celiac sufferer, so for us regular pizza dough is not in the cards. Cauliflower is OK, better than nothing at all when the pizza urge strikes. I can report that having to go gluten free is tough, and decent substitutes are few and far between, especially for any type of bread.

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