Let us celebrate our new HungryOnion site by making fun of Williams Sonoma 2015 November Catalog.
In full disclosure, I have shopped at Williams Sonoma before. However, there are something very unsettling about its marketing strategy and messages. This is especially shown through the Williams Sonoma catalogs, which is why there are Hater’s Guides. They are fantastically funny.
For example in 2013:
The Hate Guide wrote: "Williams-Sonoma says: “Baked by trappist monks at a monastery in the Missouri Ozarks. Order early. Supply is limited.”
Notes from Drew: Everything about that sales copy just blew my skull. There are trappist monks in the Ozarks? Do they brew artisanal meth? I don’t trust fruitcake to begin with. I sure as shit am not trusting fruitcake that comes from a redneck friar. They’ll swap out uppers for candied fruit. And yet, supply is limited. Apparently, the market for $40 Ozark fruitcake is ENORMOUS. White women from Bridgehampton ALL THE WAY to Westhampton rely on the monks to deliver their holiday fruitcake every year. Ina Garten’s ADORABLE HUSBAND JEFFREY WHO MAKES A LOT OF MONEY loves the sight of a fine white-trash-monk fruitcake any time he comes home. TIE IT UP WITH THE
I think you get the idea.
So let’s us start with the November 2015 catalog.
I will start with with three.
New & Exclusive All eyes will be on this centerpiece-worthy cake, handcrafted with
layers of moist chocolate cake, chocolate cream-cheese frosting and fondant
Chemicalkinetics says: All eyes will be on you after you tell your guests that you had paid $65 for this crap.
Pillivuyt Gravy Boat with Warming Base
Keep sauces warm throughput meals. Holds tealight candle (not included). Made in France by Pillivyyl. 12-oz cap. $79.95
Chemicalkinetics says: Thanks God, it is only $79.95, and not $80 for a stupid gravy boat. Can’t you at least throw in a candle or two for this $79.95 gravy boat?
Williams-Sonoma Casseroles Starters:
Chemicalkinetics says: 1/3rd of the catalog is about prepared foods and prepared sauces and spice mixes. I sometime wonder if Williams-Sonoma is for people who CAN cook or CANNOT cook. The advertisement slogan is: “We Make It From Scratch So You Don’t Have To”. I am pretty damned sure that any frozen microwave dinner can equally make the same f-king claim.