This is valuable intel. I’m hosting the parental units for Thanksgiving and I haven’t yet considered the menu. At the very least, I can get get my butt in gear and secure the turkey.
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I just ordered a cheese/fruit/but board, a 9-11 LB Lilac Hedge turkey, gravy, roasted veggies, and veggie phyllo main dish. Work is ramping up just in time for Thanksgiving, so it’s going to be awesome to be able to pick up my loot 2 minutes down the road this year (along with all the veggies I need to round out the meal).
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Very late here. But I’ve always liked Pete and Jen’s birds, now part of Codman’s farm in Lincoln.
I’m not ordering from them this year (will be out of town) but have in the past.
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After trying a chicken from them last week, I too went with Lilac Hedge Farm for this year’s turkey (and gravy) preorder. Now I just have to remember to report back here after the holiday.
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I’m worried about spending a good deal of cashola on this turkey (which is not a hardship for us) and not effing it up (which would make me feel terrible). Please anyone chime in with any advice - I’m soliciting it! The less handling I have to do (I get grossed out by meat) the better. Is this a thread I should start?
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It’s probably worth starting a new thread . . . my only recommendation, especially if you don’t like touching raw meat, would be to dry brine the bird 2 days ahead and then let it air dry in the fridge unwrapped . . . probably the best bet for crispy skin and flavored meat with the least amount of touching . . . .
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There are a bunch of Turkey cooking threads from past years.
The dry brined / Judy bird is pretty foolproof, and yielded the best Turkey I’ve ever eaten in recent memory - last thanksgiving Turkey I ate, as it turns out.
Low & slow is another minimize-disaster solution - though it depends on what your oven situation is re sides.
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dry brine, spatchcook, use a good probe with an instant read for backup and don’t cook it past 165. simple and foolproof. you’ll need good kitchen shears to cut out the backbone.
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The Judy bird dry brine method you mention above is what I’ll probably try this year. It also avoids stuffing the bird, which means less handling. (Note: The Food52 article included one suggestion to flavor the brining salt with smoked paprika—and as a paprika enthusiast I gotta say no to that. Smokiness would overwhelm the other flavors.)
Also as a former washer of poultry, I have since come around to this USDA guidance on not washing your turkey. I just use a clean paper towel, that I throw away, to pat down the bird inside and out. Might not be a necessary step but I do it.
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I used to wet brine and while I loved all the extra juices (you could probably make at least a or two quart of gravy with the liquid!), it is far messier if you don’t want too much raw-turkey-handling. Dry brining is far ‘neater’ and cleaner, though I still recommend that you rub that brine in.
I don’t use paprika, but like to add a few chopped herbs like thyme (I leave the rosemary to the butter) and also lemon zest. The fresh lemon zest blended with the salt makes the brine so lovely and fragrant, without adding actual acid to your turkey. Last year I also threw in a bit of brown sugar in there too, and it was very nice. I lightly cover with plastic wrap on top for a night or two, and then I remove the wrap on the last day to dry out the skin. I also loosen the skin as much as I can at this stage and try to get some brine under the skin too (don’t forget the back!)
On the day of cooking, bring turkey back to room temperature. I use compound butter I’ve made (ton o’butter + rosemary+more zest+ton o’garlic) and cut off little coin sized butter pads and stick them under the skin wherever I can. On the surface, I gently melt the compound butter and brush on to the skin for browning. Yes, my turkey is probably like 1,000 calories per serving, but it’s soo goood! 
EDIT: Just wanted to add that I ended up ordering my turkey online via Crowd Cow. I’ve used them before, and I was able to reserve the right size range for me, so decided to stick with them. I hope you all have good results with your turkey and turkey hunt too.
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I should have added that while roasting the turkey, I will lightly dust sweet paprika on the outside of the bird along with the olive oil—or butter, if you prefer—that I apply to the skin. Sweet paprika is for color only, so I taste a tiny pinch first. It should be so mild as to be more or less tasteless. If it’s bitter I skip the sweet paprika altogether (and usually toss the jar because it’s probably old).
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Hey @digga, there’s no no-touch turkey method I know of, unless you rig up some Wallace&Gromit automation, but the minimal-touch method would be to
- Unpack turkey and sprinkle salt and pepper from a distance.
- Remove the package of innards from the interior (unpleasant, but crucial).
- Refrigerate uncovered for 24–36 hours on baking rack + pan. If longer, bag the bird, then unbag – but that’s more touching.
- On the big day remove from refrigerator an hour before, and empty the bag of innards all around with chunks of onions, carrots, bay leaves, etc.
- Put on all exhausts and blast at 500, then lower heat if burning is imminent. Use thermometer to know when done. Add splashes of white wine if pan looks in trouble.
5b) Or follow the other lower-temp suggestions here.
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Guys I want to thank you all for all the good advice. I think I’m gonna go for a dry brine with high heat and then turning it down.
Two funny stories. I enlisted B to yank out the nasty bits last year or 2 years ago and he couldn’t find them. And then we asked my mom to do it and she couldn’t find them either. I finally had to roll up my sleeves and go in there and I managed to find them. I felt grossed out for the rest of the evening.
The other funny story is that one year I inadvertently roasted it upside down. And then I found out that it’s a thing… Some folks do it to keep the breast from drying out. I have no idea how it turned out that year but maybe I’ll try that again? I really need to take notes after holiday cooking.
So you see, this is my baseline. It’s a friggin comedy.
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Since I suggested high heat I feel a certain responsibility – you do need to monitor closely. A remote thermometer helps keep track of internal temps with zero touching, and an oven light helps keep track of outside browning v burning. A foil tent can be your friend if outside dark-browns before inside is done, but I’m sure you know that already.
Yes, finding the good bits (nasty ones as you call them) can be an adventure.
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Part 1 (of many more parts to come; of this, I’m certain) of my turkey misadventures. I picked up my Lilac Hedge turkey from LexFarm yesterday. It’s ~9-11 lbs. I found the nasty bits easily and then started rubbing away with kosher salt and pepper and put it in the fridge. So, this morning, I realized (1) I forgot to salt the cavity, which seems like no big deal - I’ll do it now, although I’m not looking forward to the task (B is at work today so I can’t recruit him), and (2) I forgot to wipe down the turkey with paper towels. Dear Onions, should I do that now, or just forget about it?
(My mind is in another place…unfortunately, my dad is having some major health issues, so I’m even more scatter-brained about the turkey than usual. 
)
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The Boston Globe just ran an article by Sheryl Julian with an unfussy turkey cooking prep.
I’m going to use approximately this method because yesterday when we were out picking up our turkey, something (presumably) fell from the trees overhead and—boom!—shattered my car’s sunroof. We’re fine, thank goodness. But the incident has put a crimp in my schedule.
Note: Paywall, though site should allow access to limited number of free articles.
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Oh dear! 
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@digga, so sorry to hear about your Dad’s health issues.
At least maybe we can take your mind off the turkey stuff. I’d say don’t worry about not having wiped down the turkey with paper towels. That bird is gonna get cooked. But if you can bear it, do put on a disposable glove and sprinkle kosher salt in that turkey cavity. Pepper is often recommended but I skip that.
I’m going to prep my own Lilac Hedge turkey soon—presumably mine will have been packed the same way as yours. Will post back here if I notice anything you may find helpful.
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@digga sorry to hear about your dad’s health!
@tomatotomato sorry to hear about your car roof and thank goodness no one was hurt!
Hope both your turkeys turn out well at least!
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