Very occasionally I consider trying to become a ‘regular customer’ at a nice restaurant by dining there frequently, perhaps every 2 weeks, and leaving large tips (e.g. 50-100%).
I imagine this could lead to special treatment like complimentary appetizers from the kitchen and extra kind service from waitstaff.
The idea sounds attractive in part because my spouse and I have two children and the nearest family are plane rides away. Restaurants with amazing service make us feel like we’re being treated like family; if they knew our names, our orders, and other likes/dislikes, it would be even better.
I’ve only seen this in movies. Has anyone here ever developed this sort of relationship?
You don’t need to give unusual large tips (it might look very obvious that you want freebies and will have the opposite effect). Simply, when you go to a number of restaurants on a regular basis people from the restaurant will recognize you after a while, especially if you are a more adventurous eater than their “normal” customer as chefs often appreciate to discuss dishes etc. Don’t do it for the freebie but simply because you like a restaurant and its cooking philosophy - everything else might come or not but shouldn’t matter. We have met a number of interesting people over the years through regular restaurant visits and some of them we even started to meet outside of the restaurant.
Yes, there is a restaurant in my city which I will pick 9 times out of 10 for business meetings.
It’s one of my favourite places which I will also happily visit in my private time. So, yes, I come there around twice a month and often spending large amounts with the tab being picked up by the other party. They are usually different people from different foreign companies so the restaurant knows I’m there for business and that I was the one picking the place.
They always treat me nice, remember what wine I like and stuff like that. I celebrated my birthday there earlier this year with my family (6 people plus a baby) and they went out of their way to customise our lunch menu on my previously stated wishes just to accomodate some picky eaters in my family.
Not 100% sure if me being there often helped, but it wouldn’t have hurt either.
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Harters
(John Hartley - a culinary patriot, cooking and eating in northwest England)
5
My only claim to regularity with a restaurant is a place we go to maybe every couple of months. We are always greeted by name, with handshakes. They remember our usual drinks order and, often, the kitchen will send out a freebie sample of a dish we havent tried. We don’t tip any more or less than we do anywhere else (about 10%) and simply put this down to the restaurant’s really good sense of hospitality (as we see similar relationships with some other customers)
It depends on the type of restaurant and restaurant owner, more than anything.
I tip well at places I frequent, but within a normal tipping range.
I do receive comps sometimes.
That tends to happen at Greek restaurants where it can be part of the culture. A free plate of gigantes for the table. Or a free dessert. I think the free dessert is thrown in for most customers who are pleasant, at one Greek restaurant in Toronto.
Occasionally at French or Italian restaurants, as well. It isn’t happening as often as it did 20 years ago, and I think there’s partly a generational change with restaurateurs.
I do like developing a relationship with the staff. Right now, my relationships are mostly with baristas. I recognize some staff at restaurants I frequent, but they don’t seem to recognize me. This could be partly because I’m the Invisible Age now. I’m a 51 yo woman. Which also has its perks
Yes we have. It was great. We would walk in the restaurant and my husband’s margarita would just appear. As far as freebies, we used to get them but really that does the restaurant a disservice and needs to be kept to a minimum.
Completely agree, simply supporting them as a regular is meaningful, without lavish tipping. Don’t seek freebies or comps . The real joy of being a “regular” is getting to know the ins and outs of the place and people who make it run, and a shared appreciation for what they do.
Not currently a super-regular anywhere, but back in my bachelor days I dined at the bar at the Blue Room in Cambridge 2-3 nights a week. Getting to know Chris Schlesinger and Steve Johnson, good and interesting people, was the reward. One evening the Blue Room hosted a dinner for Alice Waters as part of her book tour. I was waiting at the bar for my date (now spouse), when the Waters entrourage swept in and congregated near me at the bar. I saw Steve Johnson emerge from the kitchen with a platter of shucked oysters and I thought to myself he knows Alice (famously a fan of Kumamoto oysters from the Pacific Northwest). However when he walked over he put the platter on the bar behind Alice and slid it over to me. As Alice eyed the platter going by, Steve said “this should hold you until E*** gets here”.
I’ve savored that experience for a long time, and told the story way too many times.
Um. I just go to restaurants I like, and visit those I like a lot… a lot.
It doesn’t even require living in the same city or country. We’ve been going to the same places in Berlin for anywhere between 20-10 years, and — believe it or not — staff and/or owners recognize us every summer, even if we only visit once or twice (too many fish in the sea if ya catch my drift).
But whether it’s our favorite French bistro or Thai or sushi place, we never feel like strangers, the owners tend to remember our “usual” orders, and we didn’t even have to throw money at them to be treated like regulars. Just being pleasant and, in my case, highly memorable seems to do the trick
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Harters
(John Hartley - a culinary patriot, cooking and eating in northwest England)
10
Bulls eye.
The two business partners who run the place I referred to upthread are not friends. But I like to think we have a friendly interest in them and, if it’s not a busy night, we can chat about all sorts of things and put thr world to rights. . How is the son of one doing at school? How was the family of the other when she went back to visit in Iran? That was a tricky last visit - as she was there when Israel attacked the Iranian embassy in Syria and Tehran airport was closed as a safety measure so she couldnt get back to the UK (and further complicated as she now travels on a British passport which can make the security forces a bit twitchy). And we also share their enthusiasm and passion for the food they serve - particularly when it’s a “special” menu. There isnt another place we go to where there’s that sort of relationship.
We loved the Blue Room, too, and all of Chris (also love all his cookbooks) and Steve’s endeavors, including the Back Eddy in Westport. We were so sad when the Rendezvous closed and were there on the last night; also sad when Jake and Earl’s and ECG closed. Never made it to the Red Dory before Steve finally retired.
We also have a few Restaurants and Brew Pubs that we frequent regularly (7-14days).
We definitely feel more at home at these spots and often become Friends with the folks that work/own the Place. Since I work in the industry it is easy for conversations to get started. I have even ended up doing some consulting on the Food quality and consistency.
No need to leave lavish Tips. And always remember that when the Staff is busy there is not Time to chat much. Don’t be a nuisance.
Harters
(John Hartley - a culinary patriot, cooking and eating in northwest England)
14
I remember being in a place not long before Covid struck. There was a complete food bore on an adjacent table who, throughout his meal, kept accosting staff to regale them with the same stories about high end places he’s been to. Three times we heard exactly the same story repeated to three different members of staff. Folk could not get away without being rude and so it It seriously disrupted service - sufficient for us to get an apology (after he’d left of course). We told the manager that we understood what had happened and no apology was needed.
We rely on two spots for pizza to go. At one, when the voice at the other end recognizes us, it always seems that the box we retrieve feels a little heavier.
Yes, but only if you really like the food and staff. Tip a normal 20-25% (drinks and Food). Its not going to work at a restaurant that’s always booked or a Michelin type place. Over the years there are many casual, pub type p!aces with excellent food that treat us like family and even places where we travel and only show up once a year. Oh, and #1 be a nice patron.
When I lived in S.F. I was a regular at a few places but never had intentions to be a regular. Mostly I liked the food and it was convenient, near my house or on the usual commute and travel route, places in the “regular rotation”. In SF you never really needed to cook and once restaurant food was affordable or even cheap, cheap enough not to cook. The thing is, depending on the place you got very different responses.
Take out places were more like quick transactions but some would remember you and give you more food, others never said anything. …but that’s very S.F., if you don’t talk or chat, they respected your privacy or that you just wanted to get food and leave. But some places recognized you and gave you larger portions, like a couple of taquerias. I’d also order in Spanish and was always nice.
One place I remember was Powell’s Place, when it was in Hayes Valley. Use to stop by for take out, usually around 7-ish. I’d be nice and always chatted with the staff…and after a few trips they’d give me like 8 pieces of fried chicken, even if I only ordered 3. They put all the orders in a brown paper bag, so never knew until I got home. I’d go every couple of weeks or so. Definitely remember Powell’s. I think they moved, so no longer in the regular rotation.
The other place I remember was Caffe Macaroni. Use to go like every couple of months. One time I was a little short on tip, like only 10% cash, so I told the waiter I was a little short but here’s a joint for you and the rest of the staff. After that they treated me very well and were always happy to see me. Once they comped a bottle of wine when I brought a date, so I left them a bunch, like 3 joints. This was in the 90s, right before medical legalization. I don’t know if that’s being a regular but they remembered me, probably as the guy who gave them cannabis, and who doesn’t like to be treated nice. Also most of the waiters were young Italian ex-pats and I figured it must have been novel for them and helped with job boredom. I’d call it a neighborhood place.
Which also has its perks 
seems to do the trick 
