I was in a restaurant in Upstate NY when a fellow patron from another table said, “You should get the crabcake, it’s fabulous.” And here’s the kicker: “And I don’t even like crabcake.”
This last prhrase, “And I don’t even like…” I have heard so many times, It always amuses me that many people think this is a good thing.
What I really want to hear is: “I try crabcake everywhere I go and I am obsessed with finding a great crabcake. And this is the place I really look forward to.” Now that’s a recommendation.
So what does a fabulous crabcake taste like to someone who doesn’t like crabcakes? It tastes like a latke. A reaally good latke that is crispy and delicious for which no crab was sacrificed.
Yes. I don’t usually like kasha varnishkes. Because kasha tastes like sand. Except for the Russ & Daughters’ Cafe version, which somehow does not taste like sand.
But if I got a crabcake that tasted like a latke, I would not call that a good crabcake.
This reminds me of Al Franken’s comments about Ted Cruz: “I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other [Senate] colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.”
I’d certainly rather have sand in my bathingsuit than Ted Cruz.
My personal version of this is:
“I fucking LOVE White Castle cheeseburgers, and I don’t even LIKE cheeseburgers.”
This phrase is 100% accurate. Give me the best possible fresh ground 65/35 beef done medium rare with homemade sauce on a brioche bun with Irish cheddar and I will have nothing to do with it. I want steamed, onion-y beef mush tucked into a bun so insubstantial it dissolves on contact with your tongue. It is only a cheeseburger by the most technical of definitions. And they’re the only version of them I like.
This does not in any way indicate the superiority of White Castle cheeseburgers. Merely my own personal area of insanity.
Let’s not continue this hijack on where we’d rather have sand than Ted Cruz. I fear it’d be a quick race to the bottom. (And there’s the hint to my contribution!)
Are you sure you are cooking it correctly? I grew up on it and make it occasionally still. Kasha is oat groats and, to me, tastes like barley more than anything else. Of course, barley may taste like sand to you too.
I’ve never cooked it! I’ve had it prepared for me, and it may well have been prepared incorrectly, but I have never been inspired to make it myself. Because it tastes like sand.
