It was yesterday. Posting this now because I needed to digest.
It was Justin’s mom’s birthday. Of all places, she chose the Reo Diner in Woodbridge. I had been there three times already. I wanted to suggest otherwise, but when it comes to someone’s birthday, I do not interfere with what they want. My first visit ever five or six years ago, I was harassed by a 50-something waitress clearly strung out on something who ambushed me while my dad was in the bathroom. Then, quite randomly, she explained in vivid detail her last sexual encounter and asked what she should say to the gentlemen who loved her when she did not love him back. It was a gross story, made even worse when the storyteller has track marks and missing two front teeth. She even added before walking away, “Can you ask your father when he comes back what he thinks?” I was horrified. Oh and the food was dreadful. The kind of bad that is an accomplishment.
But I digress. Despite swearing to never go back, I did eat there two other times with my hockey posse after shopping at Hockey Monkey in Woodbridge. I stuck with breakfast and enjoyed it.
Fast forward to yesterday, and what a disaster! I ordered a turkey, bacon, and cheddar panini. The turkey was slimy and tasted old. The flatbread fell apart when picking up. I took five bites and pushed it aside. Justin, uninspired by the menu, ordered chicken fingers. He was served four elementary school cafeteria style tenders which were soggy and had some kind of white grime on them. His father had a veal cutlet. While it was enormous, crispy, and looked delicious, it tasted like a freezer (he cut a piece off for me to try). The gravy they put over it could have passed for that stuff they would shoot at people on Nickelodeon in the 90’s. His sister’s fried fish drew neither complaint nor compliment, and his mom enjoyed her meal (also fish). There was an empty dining room yet we were sat next to a waitress on her break who unleashed several profanity-laden tirades at the hostess because of a scheduling issue. The last thing I recall her saying was, “I’m gonna kill that f*cking guy.” By the end of the meal, I had hoped she meant the chef, but she didn’t.
A half hour in, two more tables were sat. Both were couples, probably in their 80’s. At this point, music was playing somewhat loudly. When Justin’s sister made a rather loud comment about the food and was shushed, I said (not realizing the music was going to literally stop at the exact moment I opened my mouth), “Given the average age in here, I don’t think anyone heard a thing.” Of course, the music stopped and a light flickered above me. It was like the heavens parted and gave me a microphone. Justin swears one of the elder customers heard me. But I didn’t care. I was irate. This food was inedible. Total garbage.
Before the check, the waitress asked Justin if he would like something else. He refused several times and she actually went so far as to give him any meal on the menu FOR FREE because of the inconvenience. He said, “Thank you very much but I can’t eat anything else that comes out of that kitchen.” I did like our waitress. She was excellent.
Later that night, we hit The Globe for our weekly visit. Sure enough, I had my first ever dud of a meal. I ordered a chicken fajita wrap, no peppers, and was given a tortilla with five or six tiny pieces of grilled chicken and nothing else. No cheese, onions, rice, etc. I asked for them to take it back and add onion, which they did. However, they heated the chicken again and it was like rubber. I ended up sending it back and there were no problems. They replaced it with a BLT and it was delicious. We also ordered some damn good bacon cheeseburger sliders that started to turn this nightmare day around
On the way home, I had a strange craving for candy (which I rarely eat). Grabbed a bag of gummy Starmix. I opened it up and was confronted by the oddly fused piece below. It sure looks like a certain something, but it also served as a middle finger to me on this day. The final exclamation point on one of the worst food days I’ve ever had in my life.
2/7/19-- we will not miss thee.
