Striking the right balance between having a welcoming environment and salty language

Do we have any idea of how many people found the word use offensive? Or how many people complained?

I don’t think it should depend on the numbers. There are certain racially offensive terms – and you can put “gypsy” at the top of the list – that were this website to permit an extended discussion where racially derogatory words were freely allowed because the majority honestly can’t see anything wrong with it – I would certainly raise a stink and would certainly not be here posting ever again if the response was: 'just one hypersensitive crank"

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I have nothing against any individual word. But there’s a difference between using a colorful expression like “ripped to the tits” and opining (favorably or otherwise) about the tits of an actual person. That was the sort of thing that got disappeared on Chowhound, and I was fine with it. I also distinguish between “it’s a bitch to get into that restaurant” and “that woman is a bitch.” I’m not sure what label to give to the not-okay-with-me usage, other than to say it creates a hostile atmosphere. And I’d rather not roam around a place that feels hostile to me.

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Nailed it.

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Is it the word dick that makes it offensive or the implication that the servers are not professionals? Would the claim offend you far less if it was “Hooter’s waitresses make bigger tips because they shove their breasts in customer’s faces?”

I read that other thread, and it seemed to me people were going to great lengths to say that Hooters business model had nothing to with catering to men’s interest in seeing breasts. They were offended by other people expressing some skepticism about that.

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I find either use offensive. Pretty sure servers aren’t shoving anything in people’s faces other than food–and even that isn’t an accurate depiction of what servers do in any restaurant.

If Nigella Lawson never existed, I would agree with you. But again, I think a discussion forum like this is intellectually poorer if (a) I cannot discuss Nigella Lawson’s use of her mammaries to catapult herself to foodie-dom stardom and (b) that if I am allowed to discuss them, I can’t ever call her mammaries tits.

By the way, I would say the same about the way Anthony Bourdain has himself photographed by his cameramen, deliberately.

I have worked in restaurants and – can you believe this? – a bookstore, where male managers encouraged me to wear much lower-cut blouses to increase business.

Interesting. I grew up in family businesses: a restaurant, a mom & pop deli, a card and gift store. We focused on selling what we were selling–quality food/beverages and products–not ourselves.

It may just be that British slang accepts words which are not as acceptable in American usage. These things change over time. I can think of one four letter word which was completely unacceptable in my younger days but is now readily used on TV, even before the 9pm watershed. it still makes me feel uncomfortable when I hear it.

It’s always a help not to have middle managers with sales quotas to meet, and Dad for your boss if you’re a girl.

Neither my uncle nor my grandfather would ever pimp me out to sell drinks or grinders. And I sold plenty of both as a kiddo.

This classic sums it up nicely for me (in short, “You’ve either got or you haven’t got class!”):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwCYBJe0o2M

Just another of our traditional steamed puddings. This one includes raisins which form the “spotted” part of the name. No idea why it’s a dick - Wikipedia makes a couple of suggestions that it’s a corruption on other words but your guess is as good as mine.

I’m a fan of steamed puddings. Just the thing for a winter evening. My favourite is Sussex Pondin Pudding which has a whole lemon at its centre.

:unamused:

Won’t make you uncomfortable asking you to repeat it but your story reminds me of a movie I saw with Bill Nighy and the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman about the pirate radio ships off the British coast in the 60s, blasting in rock’n’roll. The movie was a mess, but Nighy and Hoffman had a hilarious scene where Hoffman, as an impossible to control American DJ, tries to argue Nighy, the station owner, into allowing the use of just a “little f***” every now and then, and the livid Nighy keeps insisting there is no such thing as a “little f***”

[Edited to add: Thanks for the explanation of Spotted Dick. It’s just not easy to ask a stranger face to face!]

Friggin brilliant CK! You are going places my friend!

I agree. I think it is the intention should be the focus. A word without ill intention is different than a words with ill intention. I can write an angry post insulting another person without one single offensive words

With respect to your objection:
It seems to me that your objection is not the words themselves but rather the suggestive imagine/action. In other words, changing the words “tits" and "bobs” to “breasts” is still offensive, correct?

“Hooters servers shoving their bo*bs in customers’ faces” vs
“Hooters servers shoving their breasts in customers faces”

As such, it isn’t about the words, but the suggestive actions/imagine. I can use any word, and it would suggest the same offensive imagine to you. I can even write:

“Hooters servers, all they know, is to shove their things in customers’ faces”
(obviously, I doubt any of us here want to ban the word “things”)

If it is the suggestive action being offensive, then that I think that is a slightly different discussion. There are other cases where the words themselves are offensive/questionable offensive no matter where we put it. For example, we probably won’t want to use the “N-” word here regardless how you want to use it.

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Yes, but I am really learning from the best (you).

But while people could choose to go out of their way to express their disagreement about Hooters, nothing was going to change the fact that there was a fundamental disagreement among posters about what Hooters is selling to customers and its presentation of women’s bodies. Most of the anger in that thread was not directed at Hooters, but at people anywhere and everywhere who feel Hooters is a cultural disgrace. I didn’t post in the thread because I didn’t want to have that anger directed at me.

Correct on all counts! It’s not even that it’s suggestive, I’m willing to bet it’s wildly inaccurate.

ETA: You say you’ve been to Hooters. You said the waitresses were nice and professional. Did anyone shove anything in your face? Or did they just serve you food? There we go.