Spot on.
One size never fits all.
Exceptions demonstrate “rules”.
Speaking of which:
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Rules (in London) has all 3!
When I choose a restaurant for ambiance, it’s for the interior space or the light, more than the crowd. I don’t go to places that are dark or loud these days.
A favourite place that deliver good food and beautiful atmosphere would be The Wolseley in London, England.
In NYC, Bar Room at The Modern (MoMA).
In Toronto, it would be a place with a view, good food and good service , such as Canoe or Scaramouche.
There are a few brunch places and coffee shops I choose for food and ambiance. because I like the food and the music they play.
I also am avoiding crowded place. Finding empty spaces with good enough ventilation where I feel comfortable is an ambiance choice.
The afternoon tea at the Shangri La hotel lobby is another ambiance place for me.
Hearts Tavern in Kimberley, ON has a nice ambiance and good food.
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I use to take my grandmother to a place in Sausalito called Spinnaker. Typical touristy view restaurant, food was what you’d expect…but we’d go because of the view. That’s the place you take 90 y.o. grandparents, because of the view and it’s a great view.
Would I go there for myself, nope, but the who and why said yes. 30 years later when my dad got to that age, family also took him for that reason. Also use to go the Cliff House in SF for a glass of wine and the ginormous window view. On a sunny day, that view was exceptional. Again it was about the who and why.
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We used to alternate between Scoma’s and Franciscan in San Francisco.
In Oakland, we would go to Scott’s at Jack London Square.
We also would visit Nepenthe at Big Sur for the view. An 80 yo friend moved to California last fall, and we sent her a gift certificate so she and her daughter could dine at Nepenthe.
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Very good point. Loud noise to the point you can’t hear your DCs or the servers is a killer for me.
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Food is primary; wow me on everything from the exotic to the mundane. Whatever it is, do it well and I’m happy. Ambience = can I hear? Is the service decent? Am I enjoying myself and my company? The rest I just shake my head at. I’ve never been seduced by trendy; I’m boring that way.
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Food is always the prime reason for us to go to any restaurant. Service is important for one key factor - don’t rush us (which way too many restaurants fail). Everything else in terms of service is not really relevant. And for ambience, we avoid any restaurant for dinner which doesn’t have table service and you have to order at a counter. We always have busy days and so restaurant dinners are for relaxing family time and ordering a few times during dinner is pretty much the opposite
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As I’ve mentioned before, Rules is my favourite restaurant in the capital. Last visit, we got the train (a 2 hour journey), had lunch and got the train back.
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If a place is so dark I have to use my phone flashlight to see the menu, I probably shouldn’t be there. 
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We went to a super-trendy, super-popular restaurant in Philly, Double Knot.
The basement bar & restaurant area is so dark you have to do exactly that. While the light level (or lack thereof) is also an incredibly dumb decision, at least they weren’t blasting the tunes at earsplitting levels. And the food & drinks are quite good — so much so that we went back into that dark basement 
I did mention food is the #1 deciding factor in my earlier comment.
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And before cell phones you had to hope they had a candle or electric tea light on the table.
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There’s a place in Northeast Philly (the RibRack). The food is great and it’s very popular. But you cannot see a damned thing it is so incredibly dark. And it’s not even a basement; it’s street-level. I was there pre-cell phone days when my eyes were much younger and literally could not see the menu. It’s been some years since I lived in the area, but I just did a quick search: it’s still good, it’s still popular and it’s still dark. Maybe dark is a Philly thing?
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We stopped going to Osteria for that reason many years ago. They put us in a room so dark, the only light sources were the candles on the tables, and everyone’s cell phones lit up to read the menu. The server checked in on us every 2 min it seemed, and there was a weird dude in the corner who looked like security: fugly sports coat, earpiece, n all.
The combination of all that really turned us off, which is a bit of a shame — I had some of the best pork of my life there.
I thought “tiny” was a Philly thing 
So many restos we went to that were the size of a stamp!
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I remember an Indian restaurant in Twickenham, London where I had to get up and stand at the bar to read the menu. That one was a shame as it was good food (Indian with an East African spin). When I’m on my own, as I was on that trip, I’ll often take a book to read. Just impossible so I never went back.
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OK, dark and tiny. The Rib Rack is in a building that’s really a house. Turning small city homes into restaurants is definitely a Philly thing.
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Nepenthe is definitely worth the stop and everyone is a tourist, even if just for a drink.
I’ve never been to the Franciscan, perhaps Catholic school tells me no.
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We knew someone who worked at the Franciscan. I love the space inside. Very 1967.
I regret we chose a place on Pier 39 on my last visit, Fog Harbour, because we thought it would be easier, since we were meeting up with distant cousins with a toddler. That was on my last to San Francisco, in Sept 2017. I haven’t been back since.
It was a frustrating lunch because the distant cousin and her husband kept insisting we choose the place with no input before we met, then agreed to this seafood place, then they told us it was a tourist trap and they knew many places that were better. We were paying for the lunch for all 5 of us and they were complaining about their free lunch. LOL. We were concerned about their toddler, and that is why we chose a tourist trap where babies are common, over a finer dining establishment.
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There were 4 babies and several toddlers at dinner in a >$100/person room last night. Realizing that a baby sitter for the evening can set you back $100, it’s certainly understandable. Will admit that these little ones were visible but not heard except for a tiny one who was quickly quieted.
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Dining with relatives…good and bad is a thread that might blow up. I could go off on some real weirdness but they might read it.
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