Time for a new neighborhood.
I totally agree on using cash before cards so you have a better idea of what you’re spending before a credit card bill catches up with you a month later. Plus it saves the company and/or server from paying the service fee.
When I was dining out a lot with former Hounds, we always split the check by the number of people, and tipped generously on that. Some of us watched our weight more than others, some drank more than others, but we liked trying lots of dishes and figured it evened out over time. Plus, we were friends. It wasn’t like anyone in the group was intentionally drinking more or ordering dessert for themself only, to take advantage of the way we rolled.
I backed out of those dining meet-ups around 7 years ago (for me, the meetups ran from 2006-2015), mostly because of my own issues with portion control and moderation.
Since then, I usually split the bill by the number of people present, or alternate taking care of the bill with my friend. Sometimes I take care of the bill because I want to.
I had one last dinner in 2020 where I felt gouged by 2 dining companions, who drank and ate a lot more than me, and insisted we split the bill. If I had been them, I would have picked up the whole tab, or taken the alcholic drinks out of the equation for divvying up the bill.
I felt embarrassed to speak up that what I ate and drank cost 1/3 of what this couple ate and drank. I paid my third, and I decided lesson learned. I won’t dine with them anymore.
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This is my general philosophy as well. I’ll give dining partners a chance or two for things to even out if I feel like like I’ve been taken advantage of. Maybe they weren’t paying attention to what I was eating or drinking. But, If I feel like their behavior is purposeful, I’ll certainly decline further dinner gatherings with them. Or maybe ask for separate checks from the start (though probably not as I feel like their check dividing behavior would be indicative of others behaviors I probably wouldn’t care for either)
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Guess we’ve been lucky not to have dined with schnorrers. That said, when we’ve been with a group and been the only one ordering the obviously most expensive choice (such as prime rib when the rest are enjoying pasta or chicken livers), we always take the check. And when it’s their turn to reciprocate, we stay in the middle of the road. As for really “lucky”, then there are our friends who are “check grabbers”, not out of vanity – that’s simply who they are. Having good company doesn’t involve keeping score.
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It does tend to be common in the Greek and Italian culture, as well as some other cultures, to grab checks or even fight over who takes the check.
I grew up in that environment, so I often was treating to be courteous.
It was a shock in my 30s and 40s to see some people never ever reciprocate or treat others. It’s not in some people’s nature. Which can lead to this another somewhat cultural behaviour in which some Greeks and some Italians excel- the holding of Grudges. I’m good at that. LOL.
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There’s also stealth grabbing – 1) someone takes the restaurant host aside while the table is being seated and arranges payment before anyone has a menu; or 2) as coffee is being refreshed “has to use the facilities” and settles the check out of sight, returns to table and says “ready to leave anytime” and deflects “we need a check” with “took care of it while I was up.”
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I like my neighborhood just fine. Judging from the number of tourists who come through lots of people from other places like it too. If you think the cost of a meal is too high, don’t even think about what housing costs are like. 22 pounds of Benjamin’s would buy you a studio.
That could lead to a corollary theme about what you tip the staff in apartment buildings at the holidays.
Spending cash is a notion that will dwindle with time. Frankly the use of large amounts of cash is driven by the desire to avoid taxes and other illicit activity.
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My uncle was a stealth grabber.
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I’m glad I’m reading this thread old-to-new; otherwise this one statement out of context might have been a bit shocking.
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I start to noticed that for some restaurants, 20% tip is listed as the minimal tip option. Many of them start to list these options.: 20%, 22% and 25%, or 20%, 25% and 30%.
Just saying.
We almost always pay cash in restaurants. You have an pretty good idea of what a meal/wine is going to cost. Between the two of us, we cover the tab. Of course we have a card as back up, but try not to use it. Particularly if we like the restaurant, are known to them. As husband says, “Friends don’t make friends pay 3% to card companies.”
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My father-in-law was a check grabber. I
“stealth-grabbed” a check one time and he was genuinely angry.
Having $1000 dinners regularly only happens on the internet.
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In eastern Canada, quite a few restaurants don’t accept cash these days, so they don’t have to keep a float. Possibly to cut down on chance of theft (by employees or intruders), as well.
Payment by debit / bank card has a much lower fee than credit card at most places.
If they take debit, I often use that instead of credit for indie restaurants and coffee shops. (Around 1 or 1.5 percent if they have take debit, and 3 or more percent for CCs) I often also ask which they prefer.
Huh?
Doesn’t happen often for me, but happens regularly for a few posters around here. I won’t name names LOL.
Also depends on where you live, how much things cost (Norway, Nunavut, etc) what kind of fine wine you order, how many kids you have, etc .
Can’t imagine how much it costs to feed teenage triplet boys at a restaurant.
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I assure you that is not even remotely true.
Entitled? I must have touched some nerve unwittingly. You clearly have no idea about me and make all sorts of assumptions. I come from a pretty modest background. By stint of hard work, I have done very well. I live a comfortable life now. It wasn’t always that way. So what if $1,000 meal is something I can afford?
A number of restaurants I’ve visited over the past few months have started charging a different amount for cash vs card. Since I don’t carry much cash, and that 3.5% is usually a negligible amount on my dinner check, I don’t mind paying the extra.
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