Not writing down the orders and then getting the orders wrong. This one really annoys me. Its not the getting the orders wrong part that is annoying because everyone makes mistakes. Its the lack of ability to accurately assess one’s ability to remember that is the issue.
Every time a server comes without a pen and a notepad, my mind automatically wonder whether the order will arrive correctly. One server I remember got 2 out of 6 wrong, or something like that.
I was recently in Princeton with some friendly acquaintances from NC, and they wanted to go to “some place up the road that used to be a mexican restaurant” and turned out to be the Tilted Kilt, which seems to be a Scottish themed Hooters. It was halloween, and our server dressed like a bee sat down at our table while taking our orders, and several times thereafter. She was cute, but this seemed more than a bit intrusive to me. I’d never seen it before and I wonder how often it happens, and whether the demographic of the diners (we were three not very young men) makes a difference.
Happened to me once. November 2010 - Albert’s, South Manchester. Waiter was doing his stuff in that style where they really want to be your best friend and, yes, he sat down to take the order. Jan & I exchanged “the look”. The one that comes from 40 years living with each other. And I was given the ever so slight shake of the head. There was another couple, you see. And they seemed to be quite liking it.
And, no, I’ve not been back.
OK. One thing that peeves me - it peeves Mrs Harters more. And that’s when the food comes, the server asks “who is having the X”. You should know that. Write it down on the order pad. Many places have systems. Some places even have guidelines on their order pad. But it is not rocket science to note that it’s the woman having the medium rare steak and the man having the turbot.
This is something that Outback Steakhouse servers all did when they first opened in our area years ago, every server in every location. They actually stopped doing it around the same time the overall food and service experience declined sharply. This was the only improvement.
She has a system??? Now that’s a new one.
Absolutely! Nothing grumpy about that. Next time I want to not talk with someone at dinner though, I know plenty of options for loud, crowded restaurants.
Yeh that bothers me too, ‘who ordered the lobster’ ‘who’s got the ribeye’. You took the order why didn’t you mark it on your pad?
Other things that bother me, I don’t like being asked what I’d like to drink before my butt has even hit the chair. I don’t know what I’m going to eat yet so I don’t know what I’d like to drink.
Except here in the West, we ask for water and I really do want it right away. But except for that I agree with you.
I go to sports bars when our team (Gators) are playing. The noise is deafening at times. The server needs to grab a chair and sit close to hear. In this case, it is necessary and not intrusive.
BTW, If the bumble bee wasnt cute, would she bee more intrusive? 
My daughter used to sit down with guests sometimes when she was a server at Red Lobster while she was in college maybe 18-20 years ago. She said she only did it if the guests seemed responsive to a friendly approach. She worked there about two years, so I assume it wasn’t a problem. Me? I’d find it odd, but OK in the proper circumstance.
I’m surprised no one has commented on how they are addressed . Sir , young lady , guys …
I was the first person to her left. I think she couldn’t keep track of who got what unless she went clockwise and for some reason she got stumped when I didn’t order. There were 6 of us. I wanted to tell the hubs to say he wanted to wait til the end, too, just to mess with her…
Edit: If the server was new and needed the system because she was learning, I would have noticed her insecurity and prob would Just order to help her. But this gal ordered me.
Harters, I love to read your posts and respect your opinions, but as a professional restaurant server I dispute your take on suggestions. I really do want my guests to enjoy themselves. And I really do have things that I think are good. I’m surprised that you, as a savvy, sophisticated diner, go in to a meal thinking that servers are out to pull the wool over your eyes. My job is to make people happy. Keep up your end of the deal. I will do the same. xo
Srr
I, like Harters, have experienced the upsell by many servers. Like any profession, there are the good, the bad and the ugly. I cannot tell you how many times the server has been spot on when s/he steered me left versus right when my initial choice would not have been the correct one. Unfortunately there have been multiples of that great server who seem to keep a running “20% is mine” calculator in his/her mind as the order gets placed, and if not up to expectations, they move on. I cannot tell you how many times the tone changed instantaneously when I stated, “I do not drink” when they asked for the drink orders. There are times I want to order a beer, just leave it there untouched so I can get the better focus. Likewise when I am seated as a single at a two-top, I watch the race to the finish. Others have a leisurely dinner and mine is take the app plate with the left hand as the entree plate is placed on the table with thr right hand. And I understand that there is a much bigger tip for the server focussing on the 8 bankers at the next table versus me, so I cut them slack all the time, but there is still a minimum or their tip will reflect their zero interest.
It is usually (there are some customers that will never be satisfied) the host(ess) or server that drops the first domino in the happy-deal timeline. As a customer I expect the same treatment as the top-10 customer and when the host(ess) or server indicate I am not to receive that then the snowball starts down the hill.
I also don’t drink but have never experienced this. It seems such an odd thing when you consider just how much tip might be involved over a glass of beer. Odd to withdraw a hospitable tone over such a small amount, particularly when the server doesnt know at that stage if you are going to order dessert and coffee and be earning tips on that expenditure. I’ve never experienced it in my country or yours - but I remember seeing posts on CH from Americans who had experienced it as you have. I recall one where the poster said they were sneered at when they declined alcohol - something that, had it happened to me, would have resulted in a zero tip and a complaint to the management about the server’s attitude. It just ain’t hospitable.
Remember, tho, that you’re hearing only one particular perspective on this dining experience…
H
Never been sneered at but in one restaurant in Philly where I hit the tri-fecta and the end result was the server being downright rude. Three inputs…I was a single at a two-top, I did not order booze and it was a pricey restaurant. I ordered and during my app the I noticed the couple at the table next to me were served a dish that looked spectacular. I asked the server about it and his response was, “It was one of the specials.” I was confused and asked, “Why didn’t you include that in the list of specials when you told me about them.” He shook his head and said,“You are a single and it takes time to prepare and you weren’t drinking.”
Needless to say there were no numbers on the tip line and when I left I mentioned to the MOD that if the server complains, tell him the reason.
Wow. I am fine if the server just said “Sorry, I forgot” (we all make mistakes, I get that). However, … for him to say something like this… I would not have been happy.
I remember one time when about a dozen of us at a convention went to a restaurant in Boston, sat down, ordered, and then started having conversations. Since we were not necessarily talking to the person next to us, we all got up and re-arranged ourselves. In this case, we fully understood why the waitress could not remember who had what!
