Ah. My apologies. I hadn’t realized how long it’s been since I’ve visited this page, picked up where I left off, and didn’t note the date.
RIP. Very talented guy.
Also, Jacques Pepin. For all you “PSTOG” folks!
Like that scene in The Incredibles (first one) where the robot is trying to pull Mr. Incredible in half and all the sudden it fixes his back and he kicks some robotic butt.
Yum!
10 Likes
Reminds me of an exchange in a Woody Allen movie:
“Was that Hortense?”
Response: “No, she looked quite relaxed to me.”
4 Likes
Or the old groaner: “How’d you make a hormone?” “Don’t pay her.”
Bahrrump bump.
1 Like
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
- Dorothy Parker
5 Likes
So, Bill Beaumont, you remember him from the Australia story? He decides to head off on another adventure. This time, he wants to find Shangri La, a fabled paradise hidden away from the world somewhere in the Himalayan mountains. Thing is, Bill has hiked all over the place. Did the Australia thing, of course, solo hiked the Appalachian trail, and the John Muir and Califonia Coastal trails out west. But he’d never really done mountaineering. Nearest thing he got was getting decent at a rock-climbing gym back home. Fortunately, he had a friend, Hugh Sharpweather, who was even more “X-TREME” than Bill. He’d done serious climbing. He was working his way towards doing K2. So when Bill proposed this Shangri La trip, he was all in.
For a full year, Hugh worked with Bill to get him up to speed on mountaineering skills. They hit spots in the Rockies, both in the states and Canada. Ut Kangri in India. Mala Peak in Nepal. Finally, they were ready. It was a LOT. They had a whole team of sherpas, guides, and other support staff, all the right equipment, the latest in satnav communications gear. And off they went.
Three weeks into the journey, they lost a guide when an ice ridge gave way, sending him into a crevasse below. Three of the sherpas turned back when things got really dicey, weather-wise. But finally, after 5 weeks of arduous, dangerous climbing, they crested a ridge to behold one of the most beautiful things any of them had ever seen.
Down in a valley, maybe 500 feet below them, lay a Tibetan monastery with a high wall and gate barring the path. But from their height, they could see beyond into the monastery grounds, which held the most fantastic gardens. Flowers arrayed in careful patterns created swirls of color, intricate designs and mandalas, with seemingly never ending detail. Surely, if Shangri La was at all real, this was it.
They trekked down to the gate, where Bill knocked on the heavy wood door. A small slot opened, and a pair of wizened eyes peered through. “Who disturbs the gardening monks?” said the owner of the eyes. Bill introduced himself, Hugh, the sherpas, and explained the myth of Shangri La. The monk laughed and opened the gate, letting them into a large open courtyard. Beyond, they could see the collection of buildings and the entrance to the gardens. “Ah yes. We get a few of you very few years. Of course, Shangri La is a myth, but we know of it. What is it you seek?”
“Well,” said Bill, “we really were overcome by the sight of your gardens. They are transcendently beautiful. We would be honored if you would allow us to see them up close.”
The monk nodded. “I see. Well, we are happy to allow you to view them, but to do so, you must pass a small test. Pick one of your group, and you will wrestle our champion. If you can defeat him, you are welcome.” And he waved his hand. From one of the buildings came a monk, but not an ancient old man. No, this one was better than 6 feet tall and huge. “Step in the square,” said the old monk, “and try to push my man out of it. “
Bill stepped up. They circled one another, and Bill charged. The monk easily stepped aside. Bill tried again, and this time the monk nimbly shoved Bill right past him and out of the square. Bill sighed. “I lost. We’re sorry to have troubled you.” He began to gather his things to leave, but the old monk stopped him. “You give up too easily! Perhaps you’d care to try someone else?” The sherpas all quietly stepped back a bit, but Hugh stepped up. “I’ll go!”
Hugh and the warrior monk stepped into the square. Hugh made to charge, but feinted away at the last second. As the warrior monk went to push him aside, Hugh managed to trip him, sending him tumbling out of the square. Bill and the sherpas cheered.
The lesson here, of course, is that only Hugh can defeat florist friars.
3 Likes
Usually when I see a post this long, my mind goes to “TLDR.” But this was oddly worth the trip.
You must be very amusing (or very annoying) on long road trips.
1 Like
It droppeth as a drop bear.
1 Like
5 Likes
13 Likes
Can’t recall if I’d posted this classic here already 
4 Likes
12 Likes
