(post deleted by author)
I worked for a large government agency where many of the employees included professional designation initials as part of their email signature blocks. In my particular job, I provided technical support from a HQ location to field offices scattered all over. My signature block simply said, “[ricepad], RTFM”, because with every call I took asking for help, my first question was, “What does the manual say?”
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You win. 
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There was a sketch on a TV comedy series where a guy acting as a doctor was wearing a white coat with “MD” on it in large letters. When the patient questioned his diagnosis, he said, “I’m the doctor! See MD! Me Doctor!”
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That’s funny
And the callers would get the designation ID10T …
“I see you’re having a keyboard/chair interface problem…”
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Dang I’m old. … 
At a comedy club I went to, a stand-up comic asked the audience about regrets about anything. An audience member responded, “Getting a marriage license”. The comic was speechless!
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I was speaking with a friend a few months ago. He got taken to the cleaners in his divorce. He kept repeating he did nothing wrong and I told him “Yes, you did… you got married”
I’ve never been married and although I have been with my girlfriend for 13 years, we could say goodbye tomorrow without complications.
On rare occasions when Sunshine gets mad at me, I tell her the truck is full of gas, just tell me where you want your stuff delivered.
I’m with you. I don’t make a killing as a counselor/jailer, but i’m paying off the house, camper, CR-V next month, so I’m doing well for me (and my lovely wife.) We’ve just worked since forever, like what we do, and live well. I’m world famous… in the tiny school district where I work. Lot more fun than inmates.
I may have been better served going military out of high school, but I got college figured out after a rough start. Life’s good!
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Congrats!! such a great feeling saying goodbye to the mortgage company/bank!!
Being debt-free will make a big diff for us, for sure. Hoping to get there soon 
, unless medical bills continue to pile up.
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I’ll no longer owe my soul to the company store. It is a high. But, we’re looking to sell the camper and buy more land, land where fewer people live. 
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Not anymore. We are official–moving to Italy!
In NJ now to finalize the process on this end but totally out come Jan 2025.
Off we go! 
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Wow! How exciting! Where in Italy?
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Amazing! A new chapter awaits!
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such “major decisions” are not without ‘later’ consequences/results’
"if I had only . . " looks interesting, but as life goes on, the choices past that “if only” have super major mega impact on ‘things later’ . . .
life happens, and pretty much anything you have “planed” - - - not gonna’ work as you thought…
How exciting! I hope to visit you there some day! 
Fantastic! NJ will miss you and so will Greater Boston (I remember when you used to visit our corner of the world). So happy for you and Ms. Rooster. And your timing couldn’t be better in a BIG way which I will refrain from mentioning. I will be right behind you in spirit.
I hope you will continue being an active Onion.
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