We do both, i.e. host dinner parties AND potlucks. I’d say the potlucks are usually just as popular as we are lucky to have many talented cooks in our circle of friends, and there is far more variety of foods than if it were “just us” doing the cooking.
You also forget that not everyone can afford feeding a crowd.
Do you help yourself to all the leftovers?
This is an odd take. I think entertaining is a nice thing to do for others, not a selfish act. And even if some of the costs are borne by the attendees, you still have to provide space, clean up pre- and post-, and do the other work of making people feel at home.
I was commenting on your first statement. Of course I don’t.
Uh, you do you, hon. We host plenty of dinner parties and potlucks (e.g. Practice Thanksgiving, the Pre-Hurricane Season Freezer Cleanout Party, etc.), and no guests are complaining that we’re sponging off them. Hosting ANY party is a lot of work. We make food for all of them.
Re: the leftovers question, we’re always happy as to get rid of any food that people want to take home, because otherwise it means that we have way too much in our fridge. We save takeout containers specifically for this purpose. As a guest, my default assumption is that the host will keep everything, but if they offer me any leftovers, I’ll take them. I do want my dish back, though.
How much was left over?
If it’s a serving or less I could see it as just part of cleaning up. Host gets any extra wine and tomorrow’s lunch seems fair. Host stocking the fridge for the week seems presumptuous.
I don’t know if there’s a “should” here, but I - and it seems most of the contributors to this thread - would have asked.
Given that it was a friend hosting, I am puzzled by the behavior.
I usually offer that the host empty whatever is left of my contribution into their dishes so that I can take my own containers home (for the obvious reason, I’m done losing containers at this point in my life).
But I’ve never had a friend just take all the food without asking, agree that’s a bit odd.
(I do think it’s nice that they cleaned the dishes before returning them.)
I’d prefer the host keep the leftovers of the dish I brought. To me, that means they liked what I prepared and wish to have more the next day. That seems like a compliment. If I liked what I prepared for the pot luck dinner, I can certainly make it again for myself (if I so desire).
There was one neighborhood party I went to and the host really liked this “hot milk cake” that I made. He kept the leftover cake and enjoyed it for the next few days.
It makes me feel good anytime someone asks for a “second helping”.
As far as containers for transport, I go to Goodwill and pick up baking dishes, etc. (for this purpose) I’m not the least bit worried if I get the container back or not.
The best compliment for your dish is zero leftovers 
This is true, but I tend to make a large portion when I go to parties, etc.
Amongst our friends, I’m the “dessert guy”. I usually bake something large enough so everyone can have a piece and there are some leftovers. I’d be upset if someone wanted a “treat” after their meal and there wasn’t enough to go round.
True to fact, one of Sunshine’s girlfriends is having a birthday on April 2nd and I’ve already been told what cake she would like me to prepare.
I’d love a recipe link if you have one (on the baking thread or here!)
I used this youtube “Glen and Friends cooking” channel recipe. I work in cups (not ml) so I deleted that information from my copy (that I keep in my recipe binder). If you need the “ml” information, it is in the description section (under the video).
Hot Milk Cake
2 cups sugar
4 large eggs
1¼ cup milk
6 Tbsp butter
2 cups all-purpose flour
1¼ tsp coarse salt
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp vanilla extract
Method: Preheat the oven to 165ºC (325°F). Grease a 9x13" cake pan.
Beat the eggs and sugar together until they’re light and fluffy.
In a pan on medium heat, bring the milk and butter almost to a boil.
Separately, stir together the flour, salt, and baking powder. Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture; beating just enough to fully combine.
Remove the pan with the milk and butter from the heat, add the vanilla and stir the mixture until the butter is completely melted.
Slowly mix the hot milk mixture into the cake batter, until smooth and well combined. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Place on a rack to cool
Here is the video, if you would like to watch it.
This really is a “yummy” cake!!
Well, of course. Everyone scales up portions to feed a crowd (or at least they should). That said, sometimes a dish is snarfed up by everyone.
Thanks!
If the food is of my own choice, I ask the host if they want it; if they have specifically requested it, I just leave it.
I try to take containers that I’m happy to leave with the host. They always say that they will transfer the leftovers to one of their own, and I tell them “it’s a gift”. But then I have a many decades old collection of giftable plates, crocks et al.
How bout both!
